this post was submitted on 24 Nov 2023
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politics

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[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 98 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

Can you tell them apart?

Yes I can. Without reading the article. Ned Flanders is a good, kind, generous person despite his weird religious beliefs. Mike Johnson is none of those things.

[–] SkyezOpen@lemmy.world 39 points 11 months ago (3 children)

"My wife spent the last few weeks on her knees in prayer to the lord, and, uh, she's a little worn out."

-Actually Mike Johnson, somehow.

[–] ares35@kbin.social 4 points 11 months ago (1 children)

odds on it wasn't praying that wore her out?

[–] Telorand@reddthat.com 12 points 11 months ago (1 children)

99% chance it was praying. Fundies are weird about sex for pleasure and anything that isn't missionary.

[–] SkyezOpen@lemmy.world 2 points 11 months ago

Outwardly. Behind closed doors they are some of the most fucked up people that exist.

[–] Boddhisatva@lemmy.world 4 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Okay, I cannot help but think that 'the lord' is their name for his dick.

[–] Tujio@lemmy.world 1 points 11 months ago

It's like Joel Dongsteen

[–] mrichey@lemmy.world 3 points 11 months ago

The only one I got wrong.

[–] art@lemmy.world 62 points 11 months ago

This was pretty easy because Ned is not an asshole.

[–] PugJesus@kbin.social 42 points 11 months ago (5 children)

“[My wife] spent the last couple of weeks on her knees in prayer to the Lord. And, um, she’s a little worn out.”

Only one I missed.

[–] HikingVet@lemmy.ca 20 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Maude Flanders had amazing endurance for praying to the lord. You insult her memory by insinuating that she would get tired.

[–] Burn_The_Right@lemmy.world 3 points 11 months ago (2 children)

You insult her memory

Maude passed?! What happened?! Damn. This is terrible news.

[–] PeepinGoodArgs@reddthat.com 11 points 11 months ago

Me too. That's insane

[–] downhomechunk@midwest.social 4 points 11 months ago

Me too. Stupid sexy flanders.

[–] ssboomman@lemm.ee 3 points 11 months ago
[–] Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 11 months ago

Less time on your back, more time on your knees is the only one I missed! I know my sweet Neddy.

[–] Telorand@reddthat.com 28 points 11 months ago (1 children)

The Ark Encounter is one way to bring people to this recognition of the truth, that what we read in the Bible are actual historical events.

Ah, yes. The ark museum that required modern structural engineering techniques and materials, teams of construction crews and not just a family of eight, and active ventilation to continually remove the toxic levels of methane that wood naturally produces.

Such a factually true account of history.

[–] neptune@dmv.social 7 points 11 months ago

If you remove all the ungodly building codes and laws and regulations, you can make a museum that looks like a boat, with bronze aged tools!

[–] AmbroisindeMontaigu@kbin.social 17 points 11 months ago

100%. If it seems too innocent or self-aware it's Flanders.

[–] ShaggySnacks@lemmy.myserv.one 11 points 11 months ago (1 children)

“Spend less time on your back and more time on your knees.” and “[My wife] spent the last couple of weeks on her knees in prayer to the Lord. And, um, she’s a little worn out.” I got wrong.

One sounds like a classic Simpsons joke and the other sounds like a condescending asshole.

[–] Serinus@lemmy.world 0 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I'm sure the "on your back" was a totally different context.

[–] xc2215x@lemmy.world 10 points 11 months ago

Ned Flanders is a lot more well meaning.

[–] Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee 1 points 11 months ago

TIL sexy homosexual "barbarians" ransacked Rome, left no man's purse untouched