this post was submitted on 22 Nov 2023
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Lemmy Shitpost

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BIRDS. (lemmy.ml)
submitted 1 year ago by Facelikeapotato@lemmy.ml to c/lemmyshitpost@lemmy.world
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[–] ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.de 78 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (6 children)

Depends on how the song is interpreted. The intention is probably β€œby the 𝑛ᡗʰ day of Christmas, my true love had given to me [list of 𝑛+(𝑛–1)+...1 items]” but the actual grammar means that by day 12, you'd have received 𝑛(13–𝑛) of the 𝑛ᡗʰ item, or

  • 12 drummers drumming
  • 22 pipers piping
  • 30 lords-a leaping
  • 36 ladies dancing
  • 40 maids a-milking
  • 42 swans a-swimming
  • 42 geese a-laying
  • 40 gold rings
  • 36 calling birds
  • 30 French hens
  • 22 turtle doves
  • 12 partriges in pear trees

Total is 184 birds. By day 7, only 69 birds, up 50 % from 46 by day 6. At least the number of received birds stays constant (23) on days 8-12. The geese technically-a-reproducing are not accounted for, as the eggs might not be fertilized and take several weeks to hatch.

Also explored in an awesome video by Vihart: YouTube/Piped/Vimeo

[–] BluesF 7 points 1 year ago

Oh damn I did not know Vihart was still going! Tis a good day.

[–] Artyom@lemm.ee 6 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Curse you Carl Friedrich Gauss and your distribution! Is there no escape?!?

[–] ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.de 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

It’s a parabola actually, the function is –𝑛²+13𝑛.

The reason Gauss is mentioned in Vihart’s video is that he famously invented the formula for triangular numbers.

[–] downdaemon@lemmy.ml 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

this is why i come to lemmy

[–] ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.de 1 points 1 year ago

this is why i lemmy

[–] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 year ago

does each maid come with a cow (or goat) they are milking? within a month (35 days) some of those goose eggs will hatch too.

[–] Resistentialism 2 points 1 year ago

I would be so happy to receive 42 geese. It gives a really healthy head start to my goose army.

[–] TimewornTraveler@lemm.ee 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Fourty! Golden! Rings!

[–] Burninator05@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

You should just be grateful your true love didn't give you any hedgehogs.

[–] IrrerPolterer@lemmy.world 39 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Lol, eight maids a milking... Slaves. He's sending you slaves darling.

[–] capt_wolf@lemmy.world 20 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Or he's letting you in on a very specific fetish...

[–] oo1@kbin.social 13 points 1 year ago (2 children)

are cows included? or are they a-milking something else?

[–] ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.de 6 points 1 year ago

Each other, which is why the sex matters

[–] tetris11@lemmy.ml 16 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Consider the gender distribution of:

  • eight maids a-milking
  • nine ladies dancing
  • ten lords a-leaping
  • eleven pipers piping
  • twelve drummers drumming

Some deep fetish shit is about to go down

[–] TheSlad@sh.itjust.works 7 points 1 year ago

Hey them pipers and drummers could be ladies! Its current year

[–] ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.de 15 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

All 140 humans, including the 30 lords, are slaves. You don't otherwise β€œown” humans like birds or rings.

Calculation by Vihart

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

Excuse me they're dinner.

[–] PipedLinkBot@feddit.rocks 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Here is an alternative Piped link(s):

Calculation by Vihart

Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.

I'm open-source; check me out at GitHub.

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 28 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Plus, you have to provide room in your house for a huge number of new lodgers. Drummers, pipers, lords, ladies, maids... and then you've got to find a place for all the birds.

Your "true love" is clearly taking advantage of you by unloading all of this onto you and calling it a gift.

[–] Squibbles@lemmy.ca 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Clearly the birds are for feeding to your new lodgers

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

Very small portions. They won't last a week.

[–] Ultraviolet@lemmy.world 25 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

It's 184 birds, 140 humans, 40 rings, and 12 trees. The rings are almost a normal present but when it's that many you're just Sauron.

Edit: fixed math

[–] Etterra@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

I think whoever wrote the song was just hungry.

[–] Aggravationstation@lemmy.world 24 points 1 year ago

I think they're for eating

[–] captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works 13 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)
  1. From days 8 to 12 your true love gives you milkmaids, dancing ladies, leaping lords, pipers and drummers. Human beings. As gifts. Which makes eating the birds feel a lot more okay.
  2. This carol was written back when Christmas was a mere 12 days long. Now Christmas starts in mid-October. "On the ninety-ninth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, ninety-nine wall beers..."
[–] lugal@sopuli.xyz 8 points 1 year ago

I wonder who's behind it. c/birdsarentreal

[–] Ilovemyirishtemper@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago (3 children)

At least you can eat the geese. What the heck am I going to do with turtledoves and partridges?

[–] Etterra@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

People used to routinely eat just about every bird there was. The only reason nobody bothers with songbirds is that they're too small to be worth a damn. Remember the passenger pigeon? The extinct one. Yeah we literally ate that into extinction.

[–] Ilovemyirishtemper@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

Fair enough. Although I don't think you'd need to bother with the songbirds in this instance seeing as you've been gifted a years worth of geese, French hens, and milk. Unless you're required to feed all the other various humans you've been gifted as well. I guess then it would be time to crack into the turtledoves.

[–] elscallr@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I've eaten partridge before. It's not bad. Not sure I'd eat turtledove if I had other options.

[–] Chekhovs_Gun@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

What about the French hens? Those seem like the likely nom nom candidate.

[–] EmperorHenry@discuss.tchncs.de 6 points 1 year ago

Oh...but your true love gives you those same quantities of gifts every day plus the new thing on the new day.

[–] Ejh3k@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Pertinent

[–] PipedLinkBot@feddit.rocks 1 points 1 year ago

Here is an alternative Piped link(s):

Pertinent

Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.

I'm open-source; check me out at GitHub.

[–] tias@discuss.tchncs.de 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

If my true love flips me the bird, she might not be my true love after all.

[–] abcde_fz@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

This is quality shit.