this post was submitted on 22 Nov 2023
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Lemmy Shitpost

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BIRDS. (lemmy.ml)
submitted 11 months ago by Facelikeapotato@lemmy.ml to c/lemmyshitpost@lemmy.world
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[–] ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.de 78 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (6 children)

Depends on how the song is interpreted. The intention is probably β€œby the 𝑛ᡗʰ day of Christmas, my true love had given to me [list of 𝑛+(𝑛–1)+...1 items]” but the actual grammar means that by day 12, you'd have received 𝑛(13–𝑛) of the 𝑛ᡗʰ item, or

  • 12 drummers drumming
  • 22 pipers piping
  • 30 lords-a leaping
  • 36 ladies dancing
  • 40 maids a-milking
  • 42 swans a-swimming
  • 42 geese a-laying
  • 40 gold rings
  • 36 calling birds
  • 30 French hens
  • 22 turtle doves
  • 12 partriges in pear trees

Total is 184 birds. By day 7, only 69 birds, up 50 % from 46 by day 6. At least the number of received birds stays constant (23) on days 8-12. The geese technically-a-reproducing are not accounted for, as the eggs might not be fertilized and take several weeks to hatch.

Also explored in an awesome video by Vihart: YouTube/Piped/Vimeo

[–] BluesF 7 points 11 months ago

Oh damn I did not know Vihart was still going! Tis a good day.

[–] Artyom@lemm.ee 6 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

Curse you Carl Friedrich Gauss and your distribution! Is there no escape?!?

[–] ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.de 2 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

It’s a parabola actually, the function is –𝑛²+13𝑛.

The reason Gauss is mentioned in Vihart’s video is that he famously invented the formula for triangular numbers.

[–] downdaemon@lemmy.ml 5 points 11 months ago (1 children)

this is why i come to lemmy

[–] ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.de 1 points 11 months ago

this is why i lemmy

[–] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 4 points 11 months ago

does each maid come with a cow (or goat) they are milking? within a month (35 days) some of those goose eggs will hatch too.

[–] Resistentialism 2 points 11 months ago

I would be so happy to receive 42 geese. It gives a really healthy head start to my goose army.

[–] TimewornTraveler@lemm.ee 2 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Fourty! Golden! Rings!

[–] Burninator05@lemmy.world 2 points 11 months ago

You should just be grateful your true love didn't give you any hedgehogs.

[–] IrrerPolterer@lemmy.world 39 points 11 months ago (4 children)

Lol, eight maids a milking... Slaves. He's sending you slaves darling.

[–] capt_wolf@lemmy.world 20 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Or he's letting you in on a very specific fetish...

[–] oo1@kbin.social 13 points 11 months ago (2 children)

are cows included? or are they a-milking something else?

[–] ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.de 6 points 11 months ago

Each other, which is why the sex matters

[–] IWantToFuckSpez@kbin.social 5 points 11 months ago

Only Hucows

[–] tetris11@lemmy.ml 16 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Consider the gender distribution of:

  • eight maids a-milking
  • nine ladies dancing
  • ten lords a-leaping
  • eleven pipers piping
  • twelve drummers drumming

Some deep fetish shit is about to go down

[–] TheSlad@sh.itjust.works 7 points 11 months ago

Hey them pipers and drummers could be ladies! Its current year

[–] ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.de 15 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (2 children)

All 140 humans, including the 30 lords, are slaves. You don't otherwise β€œown” humans like birds or rings.

Calculation by Vihart

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 3 points 11 months ago

Excuse me they're dinner.

[–] PipedLinkBot@feddit.rocks 2 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Here is an alternative Piped link(s):

Calculation by Vihart

Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.

I'm open-source; check me out at GitHub.

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 28 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Plus, you have to provide room in your house for a huge number of new lodgers. Drummers, pipers, lords, ladies, maids... and then you've got to find a place for all the birds.

Your "true love" is clearly taking advantage of you by unloading all of this onto you and calling it a gift.

[–] Squibbles@lemmy.ca 13 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Clearly the birds are for feeding to your new lodgers

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 5 points 11 months ago

Very small portions. They won't last a week.

[–] Ultraviolet@lemmy.world 25 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

It's 184 birds, 140 humans, 40 rings, and 12 trees. The rings are almost a normal present but when it's that many you're just Sauron.

Edit: fixed math

[–] Etterra@lemmy.world 2 points 11 months ago

I think whoever wrote the song was just hungry.

[–] Aggravationstation@lemmy.world 24 points 11 months ago

I think they're for eating

[–] captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works 13 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)
  1. From days 8 to 12 your true love gives you milkmaids, dancing ladies, leaping lords, pipers and drummers. Human beings. As gifts. Which makes eating the birds feel a lot more okay.
  2. This carol was written back when Christmas was a mere 12 days long. Now Christmas starts in mid-October. "On the ninety-ninth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, ninety-nine wall beers..."
[–] lugal@sopuli.xyz 8 points 11 months ago

I wonder who's behind it. c/birdsarentreal

[–] Ilovemyirishtemper@lemmy.world 6 points 11 months ago (3 children)

At least you can eat the geese. What the heck am I going to do with turtledoves and partridges?

[–] Etterra@lemmy.world 8 points 11 months ago (1 children)

People used to routinely eat just about every bird there was. The only reason nobody bothers with songbirds is that they're too small to be worth a damn. Remember the passenger pigeon? The extinct one. Yeah we literally ate that into extinction.

[–] Ilovemyirishtemper@lemmy.world 1 points 11 months ago

Fair enough. Although I don't think you'd need to bother with the songbirds in this instance seeing as you've been gifted a years worth of geese, French hens, and milk. Unless you're required to feed all the other various humans you've been gifted as well. I guess then it would be time to crack into the turtledoves.

[–] elscallr@lemmy.world 3 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

I've eaten partridge before. It's not bad. Not sure I'd eat turtledove if I had other options.

[–] Chekhovs_Gun@lemmy.world 2 points 11 months ago

What about the French hens? Those seem like the likely nom nom candidate.

[–] EmperorHenry@discuss.tchncs.de 6 points 11 months ago

Oh...but your true love gives you those same quantities of gifts every day plus the new thing on the new day.

[–] Ejh3k@lemmy.world 4 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Pertinent

[–] PipedLinkBot@feddit.rocks 1 points 11 months ago

Here is an alternative Piped link(s):

Pertinent

Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.

I'm open-source; check me out at GitHub.

[–] tias@discuss.tchncs.de 2 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

If my true love flips me the bird, she might not be my true love after all.

[–] abcde_fz@lemmy.world 2 points 11 months ago

This is quality shit.