Remember kids: you're supposed to shit on the toilet, not on the water cooler.
this post was submitted on 06 Feb 2025
359 points (98.4% liked)
Greentext
5026 readers
1634 users here now
This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.
Be warned:
- Anon is often crazy.
- Anon is often depressed.
- Anon frequently shares thoughts that are immature, offensive, or incomprehensible.
If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
Sus. If there was a security camera they would have checked that first.
Keep your head down anon, it is a bluff.
Also, stop putting shit in drinking water you sick fuck.
Poop has DNA from the depositor.
I highly doubt they're going to pay for a DNA test...
Can your employer compel you to provide a DNA sample?
Don’t know but this is probably a crime. So a cop can.
"What is this, wolf hair?"
Inconclusive inconclusive
When corporations put fecal matter in the water supply, that’s just the will of the free market and the natural order of things. When you do it, however, all of a sudden it’s “endangerment of life”. Double standard much?
The first two rules of breaking the law without consequences:
- Be rich
- Don’t be poor
Try taking legal actions with them and millions of people would argue how you're killing corporates and let commies take over.
Potentially taking legal action?
I’d definitely be pressing for criminal charges in that situation!
Be cool dude
Putting something full of dangerous bacteria in the water supply isn’t just a prank. If someone put some food safe additive in there to make the water taste or smell bad it’d be less of an issue. (Still a jerk move, debatably.)
Lemmy and recognizing when some is joking, a great "what if"
Someone is joking in greentext of all places and they took it seriously lol.
The threadiverse's median reading level is about 5th grade
the fuck
Remember kids, when doing a crime, check your surroundings first
Or don't. These kinds of people should be caught. Ideally, they should be made an example of. Not just punitive justice, but frightening, deterring justice.
Exactly. People need to learn to check their surroundings first, and those that don't should be made an example of.
May i give you a shit pebble in these trying times?