Depressed people finding friends is a trope invented by Bojack Horseman
this post was submitted on 20 Jan 2025
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traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns
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Does anybody here have any ideas for styling hair while growing it out? I've kind of just let it be (other than trimming the ends once), but I want to go for something more explicitly feminine. My hair now is about down to just below my ears, although the back is at my neck.
At that length, it's gonna be kind of tough and whatever you do will probably lean boyish as opposed to full on feminine.
You likely will want to have it cut in a way that will grow out nice. You should go to a salon and ask what haircut will grow out well.
some very short fem styles
That one on the left is actually somewhat similar to what I have going on right now! I could probably get it like that without having to see a stylist, I like how it looks 
i love marge simpson. i could treat her right
Does Homer not treat her right?
homer and marge is the only cishet relationship in media that really touches my heart
Homer seems like a sweetheart. I haven't watched the Simpsons in years but he always seemed to want to be good to his family, he just didn't know how. The bit in the movie where he watches their wedding tape that Marge taped over is brutal
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torn between self expression and the need to find work
Consult for laser hair removal is going pretty well. The nurse doing the consult has worked with trans patients before as was understanding (was very nervous about potential transphobic reactions). Just waiting to see the quote.
EDIT: Looking like $200/session for face + neck. I don't know if that seems high or is ballpark. I can afford it, but I am still shopping around.
I figure itβs like what Imogene and varies, but I didnβt get a consultation I just booked an appointment at a commercial place and got it for $80 for what itβs worth.
i guess it's something that varies wildly depending where you live but i can get a full face and neck for around 90 euro, I'd probably look around for something a bit more affordable at that price?
I looked around, and there's a medspa that offers $500/8 sessions for face/neckline, but I don't know if that includes the full neck.
Also, the cheaper place uses a DiolazeXL while the more expensive one uses a Scitron BareIt. I don't know how to do comparisons for that difference.
society if HRT made you look like ur favorite anime girl instead of your mom
flyingcarsandshit.png
I look like if my mom and dad had a baby
I look like if my mom and my brother had a baby. 
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hrt actually made look exactly like my fursona, it's crazy
how many months did it take before you grew a tail?
excuse me! i look like my grandma 
lovely weather today. it snowed on top of frozen over roads. fell on my ass, thankfully i have a delicious cushion these days. 
getting to actually have an ass is probably my single favorite part of E
soft skin, thicc thighs and a fat ass 
We weren't just at capacity today, we weren't just at surge capacity today, we were over surge capacity and it didn't let up. This isn't sustainable. I don't know what they're going to do, we have to turn these sick kids away. Even the emergency appys, I'm sorry it's a patient safety issue. We don't have the staff and we're running out of literal beds. They have to get moved to another hospital
It's been a frustrating few days, never let up once. Understaffed, way too many kids, support has been pretty nil, fuck. We're probably going on strike by March. Dunno what the fuck is gonna happen.
I came out to my mom, the last person I really cared to tell. And I mean on the bright side it could have been significantly worse. She told me she loved me and was sorry I was going it alone for so long, and suspected a conversation like this would happen eventually. She thought I might be gay and was waiting on me to tell her. Butttttttttt then I told her my name and pronouns and if she would have told me it was a cute name, I would have cried some good solid happy tears. But she didn't. She said "I'm not sure I'd be able to use that yet. You'll have to give me time." Which to me reads like that's never going to happen.
my mom was the same when i came out to her a few months ago, had the "oh i'm not surprised but i just thought you were gay" and the "i might need time to use your name and pronouns."
spoiler
i wanted to give her some grace, figured it can take people some time to unlearn a reflex, but when it didn't seem like she was putting in any effort or taking it seriously. i had to have a talk with her about it. i tried to explain how much it hurt in a way that wasn't too aggressive or accusatory, but she just listed off things she thought proved she cared for me and respected my transness despite (in her words) "not updating her vocabulary in the timeframe i felt was appropriate."
...the next time talked to her i got pretty blunt, told her that deadnaming or misgendering me was basically calling me a slur and that the "appropriate timeframe" to stop slurring is immediately, that she can't care for or love or respect me if she can't even address me with basic respect and dignity. i was very lucky and that got through to her, and she improved pretty quickly if for no other reason than she understood better how important it is to me.
obviously you know your own relation with your mom and your own relationship with conflict better than i do, but it may be helpful to be blunt with her about it? idk... i'm sorry if this isn't helpful or if you're not looking for advice
i hope she turns up for you. i hope she gives you the love and respect you deserve 
I want to be a daughter so freaking bad
Find a Mommy!
That requires going outside and talking to people
I am currently accepting applications.
Hello trans thread, I have been in a three month depression hole because I got unlawfully fired. I had to move out of my apartment because my unemployment isn't enough to cover it. I am fortunate enough to be living with my partner. I also ran out of my medications, which has been even worse for my mind and caused me to go through withdrawals. Today is the first day in three months that I am going to bother to dress well or wear makeup, because spite is simply the most powerful motivator I have ever known. Death to America and death to all fascists.
Hope things get better
i found a some guides to lesbian hashtags on xiaohongshu that others may also benefit from
http://xhslink.com/a/1nEovI1qZzj4 and http://xhslink.com/a/0Dvh61hKmPq4
i even found a couple transgender folks today!
edit: And another, Mox a standup she is funny!
I did the hike. Very beautiful, but very cold. I'm still thawing and I got back a while ago.
Ok but it was really worth it, I got some beautiful pictures
got banned from news@lemmy.world like an hour after banning a .world mod for transphobia. (link)
not using !news@lemmy.world is probably for the best, from a self care standpoint anyways. 
Just had the most packed weekend ever with my partner, including going dancing two nights in a row. I'm happy we spent yesterday laughing and loving (and going to brunch lol) instead of dooming.
I love them so much
doomy bad vibes
Boy howdy am I dooming today. Worrying that it is too late to get a passport, and even thinking about leaving sucks given how many painful conversations I've had with my partner about it - in short, he's not going anywhere, and the idea that I might have to causes obvious stress in our relationship. He says that he will protect me but like, if shit hits the fan he won't be able to.
I live in a deep blue area which might provide a little layer of protection, but does that just mean I'll be even more entrenched and trapped when the liberals roll over and turn me in?
Aaaaaaaaaa I just started a long shift at work, and can't just distract myself because my clients are also dooming about this stuff.
So what the fuck should we do now. Im really considering leaving the country
before you consider that, consider if any country will let you... So far in my searches i'd be stuck with paying huge dollars for a golden visa (lol fml) to a impoverished country or area, or ...well nothing, if anyone has insights on that i am all ears.
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Relatives have been checking up on me concerned due to the anti-gsrm proclamations of late. Due to where I live and what I interact with I'm a bit more worried about the end of birthright citizenship and wanton deportations without giving AF if who they pick up isn't Latin@ or is a US citizen, they're all going to the same place. So many Born in East LA but unfunny horror stories already happen irl and no one gaf. When I was younger I thought of emigrating out to MX to be yet another digital expat, or maybe to continue on to an advanced degree, I'm so old and broke now idk how realistic that is. I do have some savings, but not enough to start in another country lvl. My spoken Spanish is horrific and there's no one to practice with around here.
I'm the mood for storytime, when my mom worked in agriculture when younger immigration did a sweep and picked up a few Oklahomans along with the rest, they were seriously so power tripping they were thinking about deporting them until some other official had them calm the fuck down. When people think Murikkkan its usually a bit of a southerner, so no one is safe from what's coming 
. She also had a series of stories about a nice undocumented Canadian she worked with, eventually he ended up getting caught in a sweep.
HRT I have a decent stockpile not just from fearing the eventual scapegoating, but my constant insurance cuts, which I'm facing again. T is a lot more forgiving storage wise and time wise than one would guess off 
, real people to listen to are body builders, no damn joke. If I had a question its them or my endo. Anyway, for injections I've found vet supplies to be cheaper than Amazon when they have sales.
I'm at the point in my transition like many where I can't go back in the closet, I never really cis-passed very well, so this was always going to happen regardless of what the fools want.
CW bathroom violence story when I was younger
spoiler
So I have PCOS and always had the blessing of facial hair, then some generic appearance things like I have a very masc face.
When I was in late middle school or early high school, mom had just some legal trouble and I was at the nearest Walmart and had to use the bathroom. Some old lady accused me of being a boy-man in the bathroom and began to fight me off with her heavy ass purse and have a flip out about it. Other women in the bathroom ignored her or sat around like bumps on a log. I immediately told grandma about it who was like 'oh well, it happens, just don't tell your mom'.
CW: dysphoria bit health
spoiler
Sometimes I take herbal supplements to help out melatonin or my actual sleep med. One I use and also cook with is mugwort. Mugwort's nice in cakes and dumplings and has a unique herbal flavor, I also find it a bit of a lucid dream cheating-tier aid. I was chatting with a chatbot trying to see what it could pop out about mugwort's various properties and more recipes, and I get to read its actually purposely used to regulate/cause periods. Oops. I usually take or eat it when I'm at my most stressed. I feel sort of silly, I can probably replace it with fenugeek or something flavor wise. I seriously wonder if that's been a decent contributor to my current issues all this time. I never thought of mentioning it to my doctors since food isn't exactly medicine.
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Me doubting whether I truly am trans
TLWR: Just skip to the last paragraph. There is no question anyway, just my thoughts...
I am AMAB. As a kid I wanted to be a girl. I don't know if it was gender dysphoria or just me being affected by bullying and lack of affection. I didn't want to play football and I always found the boys to be mean and while some of the girls were also mean, most weren't and I envied them for how they treated each other and wanted to be a part of them. I don't remember if there was something more to it. I would picture an imaginary friend in my head who was a girl and while we didn't talk we understood each other as if we were the same person.
Then puberty came and it all went away, but I began feeling a numbness. As a prepubescent kid, I was always known to be very emotional. I remember when our class was watching a movie there was a scene where a dog sacrificed itself to rescue a girl from drowning. I along with one other girl were the only people in the class who cried to that. And I would often cry when I discovered how terrible the world is for other people. But now I struggled to feel. I rarely was sad or happy and I never showed affection to people and had very few, if any, friends. And whenever someone suffered I would try to suppress my empathy because there was no way for me to deal with those emotions. Once in a while however I would when alone have outbursts of extreme sadness, crying at the intense loneliness I suddenly became aware of and the emptiness I felt. It never lasted long however and I would soon suppress it again in order to live my life, because there was nothing I could do about those emotions. This entire period I did not think about gender.
The one thing I can say for sure is that I never was attached to my maleness, the only good things I appreciated about being born male was not having to deal with periods, and the immense strength I had without exercising.
Some months ago I started wondering Β«What if I am a woman?Β». In the days that followed I then had a dream while sleeping where I saw a version of my self but a lot more feminine looking. I did not feel repelled, it felt natural. I also added she/her to my pronouns in social media to experiment, but nothing ever came of that because people don't talk about me.
Some days ago I decided to shave all my facial hair and pluck my eyebrows and shave my arms and hands. Combined with my already long hair, it made my face androgynous looking and I could glimpse a woman looking back at me from the mirror and it filled me with joy. That day I went out in public looking like that with my sister (who didn't question me about my change in appearance). I remember it made me feel good, I was smiling the whole day through and while I got some weird looks I felt protected with my sister by my side (though to be honest I passed in front of a church where a funeral was going on, with the biggest grin ever on my face, so kind of expected to get weird looks XD).
When I came home, I realized Β«I think I am a woman.Β». That realization filled me with so much joy I couldn't focus. And I was filled with a drive to live and to act. I was the happiest I had ever been in the past years. I was in bliss. I actually wrote the date down, because I felt like on that day I was born again the way I was meant to be. I could feel again. Although I couldn't cry it was because, despite wanting to cry every few minutes, within a second I would be euphoric again, before any tears could even be formed. I also began feeling a lot more affection for people. My most used emojis began to be hearts and π«. And I also began attributing a lot of what I had felt in the past to gender dysphoria.
Now however days have passed since then, and I feel this numbness again. My facial hair is growing back and I no longer see a woman in the mirror. I no longer can identify gender dysphoria in the past the way I did some days ago. I don't feel gender anymore, the same way I couldn't feel gender before the realization. Was it all just a "phase"? Maybe this is just my way to cope with not being able to live the way I am meant to live, and it will all come back when I make steps again to affirm my gender, the way I did just before the realization... I guess that's what I have to work towards.
Me doubting whether I truly am trans...the most trans shit ever
Thank you all for your answers, and especially to @Luna@hexbear.net!
That's what I needed to hear. πππ
I will strive to live life as I am meant to and will not go back! 
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dysphoria or whatever
Cis people will see a trans person complain about one thing they are dsyphoric about and be like βwell my X are similarβ or βI know cis women/men whose X is similarβ.
Like congrats you are outside the norm in one way to your AGAB, while trans people are outside it on multiple, want a cookie?