Welcome to /c/traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns, an anti-capitalist meme community for transgender and gender diverse people.
Please follow the Hexbear Code of Conduct
Selfies are not permitted for the personal safety of users.
No personal identifying information may be posted or commented.
Stay on topic (trans/gender stuff).
Bring a trans friend!
Any image post that gets 200 upvotes with "banner" or "rule 6" in the title becomes the new banner.
Posts about dysphoria/trauma/transphobia should be NSFW tagged for community health purposes.
When made outside of NSFW tagged posts, comments about dysphoria/traumatic/transphobic material should be spoiler tagged.
Arguing in favor of transmedicalism is unacceptable. This is an inclusive and intersectional community.
While this is mostly a meme community, we allow most trans related posts as we grow the trans community on the fediverse.
If you need your neopronouns added to the list, please contact the site admins.
Remember to report rulebreaking posts, don't assume someone else has already done it!
Matrix Group Chat:
Suggested Matrix Client: Cinny
https://rentry.co/tracha (Includes rules and invite link)
๐ณ๏ธโโง๏ธ Transmasculine Pride Ring ๐ณ๏ธโโง๏ธ
โฌ ๏ธ Left ๐ณ๏ธโโง๏ธ๐ณ๏ธโ๐ Be Crime Do Gay Webring ๐ณ๏ธโโง๏ธ๐ณ๏ธโ๐ Right โก๏ธ
"Nearly every social event I have attended with [communists] has inevitably had some conversation about linux, furry culture, obscure leftist history, tabletop games, or other equally nerdy subjects"
Join our public Matrix server! https://matrix.to/#/#traacha:transfem.dev
As a reminder, please do not discuss current struggle sessions in the mega. We want this to be a little oasis for all of us and the best way to do that is not to feed into existing conflict on the site.
Also, be sure to properly give content warnings and put sensitive subjects behind proper spoiler tags. It's for the mental health of not just your comrades, but yourself as well.
Here is a screenshot of where to find the spoiler button.
hi, does anyone wanna make the mega in the upcoming weeks? if so, reply to this post and i'll add you to the list!
the list as it stands:
SwitchyandWitchy* (1/20 (The darkest day in the history of our democracy.) - 1/26)
SILLY BEAN@lemmygrad.ml* (1/27 - 2/2)
AshenWolf* (2/3 - 2/9)
GayTuckerCarlson* (2/10 - 2/16)
oscardejarjayes* (2/17 - 2/23)
EstraDoll (2/24 - 3/2)
Eco* (3/3 - 3/9)
โ * after name denotes someone who has posted before and will be skipped by first-time posters
i got dragged to a catholic service last sunday and it was boring af
how do people do that every week. at least the evangelical church i grew up in had energy
I blame the amateur singers 
CW: Severe dysphoria and depression, discussion of self-harm, relationship and familial issues
I can't be around here right now. Everything is setting of severe dysphoria and depression. I've had to completely disconnect from any talk about gender, sex, or relationships as it torpedoes my mental state immediately. I've even been avoiding my friends and "family." Family being my mother and sister, who are now on the verge of being tossed out of my fucking life. It's like everyone lacks empathy. No one understands the sheer immensity of the pain and suffering I'm going through right now. "Just cheer up. Smile and you'll be fine. That's no reason to be so upset." Thanks mom. Go fuck yourself. You've not exactly been the most helpful during my transition these last few years. The shadow of my ex continues to hang over me and I've destroyed some things in my house that remind me of him. I've been extremely not well if that's not clear. I even skipped out on making the topic this week cause I just can't. I'm glad I value my life so highly otherwise I might not be here right now. It's crossed my mind on more than one occasion recently, too. Even my therapist isn't fucking helping me. Ugh.
I just wish I was born a woman. I feel like a horrible facsimile. Like someone was given a doll and parts and told to do their best. This vagina. These breasts. They all feel horrendously fake. I feel like someone took a hobby knife to a Ken doll and just did what they could. I can't stand it. I just want to feel me. I wish I could've grown up properly. I wish I could have a uterus. I wish I could have children to raise and watch grow up and give a good life to. I wish I could've had all those experiences in life that cis-women just take for granted. I can't take this. I just can't.
I know almost none of you really know me or care about me and I apologize for shitting up the mega. All of you are so happy with what you're going through that you don't deserve to see the absolute trainwreck that is my life right now. I'm sorry, but with no one to properly just vent to, I resort to coming here. Legitimately if you don't like it and don't care to see this, I will stop. Just tell me in reply or PM. Seriously.
i dunno if this'll be helpful, and maybe it's weird or dumb idk, but i'm glad you're here. we had like a quarter of a conversation about painting thousand sons, and maybe it's silly but that brought me joy. you've made me happy to be here.
i don't think you're shitting up anything.
I'm sorry fellow internet stranger. I feel a lot of the same things a lot of the time too. It's also hard for me to find appropriate places and people to vent about it to, and I've been similarly frustrated with therapists. I hope you're okay with me adding just a little shared misery, feel free to ignore it if you can't handle hearing about someone else's struggle with dysphoria right now. My intention is to give some comfort through company, not to make you feel even worse or more hopeless. Whether or not you read it, I want you to know you're not alone.
More Discussion of Dysphoria, self-harming behaviors, internalized transphobia
Have you ever self-harmed by obsessing over gender theory, or trying to find the perfect argument to destroy any transphobic/TERF ideology from its foundations? I tend to do that when I'm feeling particularly bad and it never really helps. Sometimes in turns into this horrible spiral where I'm trying to like, argue myself out of my dysphoria. Like, oh, I'm only dysphoric because of bullshit patriarchal cishet standards and conceptions of "natural" sex and "real" gender anyway, so if I read something water-tight convincing enough that undercuts those ideas, I can somehow talk myself out of it, make it go away. But it always makes it worse, because in doing so I only end up focusing more acutely on where the pain is coming from, and inevitably I end up reading pages of explicit transphobia, ostensibly to find all of its flaws and pick it apart and make it feel less true, but I'm reading it anyway and it ends up sinking in and making me feel like complete shit, sometimes for days or weeks.
That is to say, I really relate to feeling like an imposter in my own skin. That I'm somehow less "real" than what I am. That there is an ontological gap that cannot ever be completely filled.
But sometimes, I feel a real sense of pride in these same things. I have my friends and my partner and the occasional queer acquaintance who I feel truly do see me for more than what I see in myself, who make that realness tangible in ways that it doesn't anywhere else. Sometimes I'll find a particular piece of art or writing that I really do think just gets it and I'll feel seen in a way that doesn't feel like being exposed, but embraced.
And sometimes, very rarely, I'll manage to see that in myself, if only for a moment. And in those fleeting seconds, it all feels worth it.
sorry to anyone who feels this is an inappropriate use of this space. i understand there's sort of a taboo around venting and using shared spaces as therapy sessions because, well, i'm sure we all know where endless, normalized pessimism can lead. we've all heard of 4chan. i'm very much not trying to cause a chain reaction and I promise not to make this kind of posting a habit. I just, idk, something about this specific comment really struck a chord with me, so I really wanted to reach out and share my own experiences with the same sorts of feelings. I hope this is ok.
if anyone feels like they want to talk about any of this, ask me questions about it, or just feels like shooting the shit with someone who might be in a similar situation, my DMs are open
all love to all my trans comrades. thanks
I don't know you, but I do care about you and read all your posts. You aren't 'shitting up the mega". I genuinely like seeing when other people vent post. It makes me feel less alone in my struggles and feelings. I wish I knew what to say, or how to help, but I don't. I am just as lost as you are. And usually too depressed to say anything of substance to your posts.spoiler
The cis really don't understand, and I'm sorry. Its hard not having people who understand. I understand wishing I was born cis. I'm really glad you are still here.
All of you are so happy with what you're going through
This has been the most stressful experience of my life and I have very little hope in the medium to long term.
I like how "NB" is apparently Chinese internet slang for very cool/awesome. 
it's me, very cool and awesome person 
ff
hate it when the site calls me out 
I have to start finding a replacement for my HRT soon, I only have enough to last the month... but theres so much fucking work to do fucking gah
immature
going to the theatre to see smegmalion by george bernard shart
I'm listening to "A Funeral of Flowers" from Fire Emblem: Three Houses, and I just noticed the channel name: Ashen Wolf. I am an imposter...
smh smh smh you must be destroyed now smh
got to watch Nosferatu in a theater all to myself, which was great because 1) I feel awkward watching sex scenes with other people, even if they're strangers several feet away from me, and 2) I got to sit in girly positions without feeling self conscious about it, and stand up when I felt tired of sitting
Been hearing that trans people have been getting bullied on RedNote. Is this true? Iโve been on that app for a year and never really noticed any strong anti-queer behavior compared to places like instagram
I don't know, but I've seen instances of Westerners leaving queerphobic comments, and then of course it also gets posted on Twitter and the like in order to twist narratives and show how much the Chinese actually hate LGBT people, when in reality they welcome everyone. That's one downside of everyone knowing about Xiaohongshu now, with bad actors creating accounts as well. Even some fascist losers like Nick Fuentes and Candace Owens decided to create an account there. I really hope people report this shit. Apparently the company is scrambling to get English speaking moderators. I hope that'll allow them to clamp down on this faster.
Western chuds will do everything in their power to stir shit up and disrupt this progressive development. Constant vigilance is required. A bullet to the head of these scumfuckers would be nicer, but hey.
ive successfully switched classes from an asshole teacher who took an insane problem with me to a class that seems to have a good and mature professor. Besides that whole debacle my week has been pretty good. I have a job now too!
CW: Dysphoria
My dysphoria has been building up this week. I still have cold symptoms, and can't wear proper make-up due to wiping my nose/mask that smears it. Almost cried a few times this week, either looking at my outfit or at my body or my face. Wearing eye makeup helps, but I still feel too nervous to wear mascara to work. Once my nails grow a bit more I think I need to start painting them. They were at a decent length last weekend, but I chickened out and cut them instead.
Also still worried about the passport, but my therapist wrote a very nice support letter that I hope clears things up for the passport agency.
Who up transing their gender
Literally just took my pills 
I'm down transing my gender 
I'm up and trying 
I am smoothing
๐ถ I am fading ๐ถ
i am running out of room on my bed for more plushies and it is A Problem.
This is what bunk beds are for.
friday rice? friday rice
You'll be very pleased to hear what we ate tonight
::: spoiler cw relationship trauma, anxiety (but this is good news!!) I had the literal actual best fucking therapy appointment of my life yesterday, holy shit.
I have been struggling with like really bad anxiety lately, to the point where I've had trouble eating and sleeping. During a therapy appointment yesterday, I realized that a part of me was reliving a particularly horrible fight I had with my first domestic partner, in which I became quite physically ill after.
Since she's a parts therapist, she suggested that this part of me that makes me feel sick from anxiety might be what's known as an "Exile." The way I'd describe it is "I'm not okay and I don't know what's going to make it okay."
I can't get nexted spoilers working, so skip this paragraph if you don't want graphic imagery. I imagine it as a anthropomorphic heart with an arrow stuck in it, bleeding for 15 years, lol. (oh and most of the heart tissue is infected, too...)
She suggested that when I talk to people, I try to show up as my core self, instead of letting this part run things, and to treat it like I would a hurting friend.
So I sure did lose a couple of hours of sleep last night due to it flaring up, but I tried this method and despite being a bit sleep-deprived today, I feel absolutely great, the anxiety didn't take over, and today I feel like its possible for me to heal from this traumatic memory.
Thanks for listening, chat, I just needed to share :)
I just remembered a thing I used to do a lot. I'd have a thought about one of my lady friends that included the word "she" or "her" and it would stun lock me and I'd just sit there thinking about the word and sometimes even saying it out loud and admiring the way it sounded and wondering why he and him couldn't sound as nice and thinking that unfair lol.
It's so funny to me thinking back to how CLUELESS I was in comparison to how obvious things should have been
I still stunlock myself thinking about how nice she and her sound but now it's caused by thinking about myself haha
I 
Friday Rice
built some furniture for my wife 
You make it sound like you did all the work
thank you for handing me the nails and turning four cam locks
Managed to fix my sleep schedule, then I woke up in the middle of the night from a nightmare and couldn't sleep and now it's fucked again
Mood
when the scam-caller calls you โmaโamโ
lmao if a scammer did that for me i'd probably just tell them i know it's a scam but i'm so flattered that i'll give them my credit card info anyway
I didnโt know it was a scam until my wife forced me to hang up 