this post was submitted on 01 Jan 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] JovialMicrobial@lemm.ee 66 points 6 days ago (2 children)

I'm pretty sure only people on the internet argue about this. No one actually cares what other's do with their last name after marriage.

This post has 2017 reddit vibes. Not in a good way either.

[–] TheObviousSolution@lemm.ee 2 points 5 days ago

People literally change their names because they feel like it, so I'm sure people do care outside the Internet, specially in circumstances of abuse.

[–] teslasaur@lemmy.world 3 points 6 days ago

Well, reddit turned to shit around 2014, so the fact it still sucked around 2017 can't be a surprise?

People definitely care, but not about which side of the family or if it comes from mommy or daddy. Most people just want an "original" name.

[–] spujb@lemmy.cafe 69 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (5 children)

with no ill will for you, OP, genuinely fuck this boomer ass “joke”

a woman’s name is her name. she lives with it for 1 lifetime, absolutely no shorter than her grandfather does. “male” is not somehow the default human identity. stop trying to enforce that standard.

[–] dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone 62 points 6 days ago (3 children)

I think the point of the joke might be more that an attempt to start a matrilineal naming scheme is foiled somewhat from the fact that the maiden name of the mother is derived from her father, i.e. you can't escape that the last names all come from patrilineal sources for generations.

[–] glitchdx@lemmy.world 36 points 6 days ago (4 children)

If a woman is committed to the idea, she could break the patrilineal naming convention simply by creating herself a new last name, and encouraging her children to take that name instead of their father's.

[–] dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 6 days ago

yes, though I think a naming system like this isn't an individual act as much as occurs on the level of social norms and rules; a single individual won't introduce a competing matrilineal naming system just by convincing her children into it...

Either way, I somewhat agree with the criticism of the joke that the last name coming from a patrilineal origin isn't a gotcha, though maybe that's actually the point of the meme since Homelander is the one posing it as a gotcha (and he's a villain, so it would make sense to symbolize a misogynist with him). The name would still be inherited in a matrilineal way even if it started as a patrilineal name further up the chain.

I guess there is a question of whether the name's origin matters at all when we are concerned with the patriarchial nature of a practice where women lose their family names and men don't. That practice being disrupted is what matters, not what the actual name is.

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[–] spujb@lemmy.cafe 6 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

…yeah? exactly what i said? i don’t disagree at all except you possibly ignore that the butt of the joke is the woman, normalizing the very repression she attempts to subvert. it’s undermining and mocking the woman’s identity intentionally by asserting the dominance of patriarchal schemes over her own life and decision. (perhaps unintentionally, but nevertheless really.)

in America, historically Black names are also dominated by the history of slavery and white supremacy (different functions, but the end result: subjugation, is parallel). i would post a similar comment hating on a post mocking Black folk for resisting these patterns as well! :)

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[–] Onionguy@lemm.ee 2 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Love the little respectful preamble you put there, can we make that internet discussion standard plz.?

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[–] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 46 points 6 days ago (4 children)

I know this is a shitposting community but these are, every goddamn one of them, the dumbest possible takes you could have opened a new year with.

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[–] uriel238@lemmy.blahaj.zone 34 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Make up your own surname to assert dominance. Or go by your internet handle.

[–] ameancow@lemmy.world 14 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Reminder that surnames didn't exist before the middle ages, you just had a singular name that people shouted to get your attention. Since you lived in a community of several dozen people, you didn't need to do much to differentiate yourself from the other "John" in your town because everyone knows each other. You lived and died just as "John" and would be remembered by your kids for a generation if you were lucky. There was no need to keep track of genealogy, you were a pair of hands and legs, you were supposed to get out there and plow that field and that's all your baron or lord cared about.

But somewhere after the black plague ravaged Europe and we lost a sizeable chunk of the human population, suddenly workers became in high-demand. Industrialist lords and landowners suddenly didn't have people smithing their horse shoes or making their bread, so they had to go poach people from far away towns and suddenly workers had power and options. As a way to get noticed for your family's tradeskill, you would have been wise to advertise this to wealthy employers, the best way was to attach your trade to your name. You were now John Baker to differentiate yourself from John the Drunkard if anyone came looking to hire someone who could cook bread.

So surnames are advertising. It's all it's ever been. There's nothing ancient and special about your name, it was just how your ancestors tried to make a buck.

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[–] lugal@sopuli.xyz 28 points 6 days ago (32 children)

Unpopular opinion: Last names are inherently patriarchal and so is marriage

[–] daniskarma@lemmy.dbzer0.com 18 points 6 days ago (7 children)

On Spain we have two last names, one for the father other for the mother.

And while before the father's was always the first, since many years couples of newborn babies can choose the order of the surnames.

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[–] dingus@lemmy.world 16 points 6 days ago (14 children)

Yeah I've always thought it was weird that women are supposed to give up their identity to a man to be married. I'm not really sure why hyphenated names aren't as popular in the western world or why people don't occasionally chose to take the woman's name. I know that women don't have to change their names, but then often you'll have the kids as the same name as the father anyway but not the mother. So I've heard many women say that they did it so their kids would share their last name.

Hell, I don't even like my father. But my name is who I am and I like it.

[–] Lauchmelder@feddit.org 13 points 6 days ago (6 children)

with hyphenated names: what would the children do then? you can't keep adding more and more names like that (both practically and legally in some cases). serious question because I've also thought about that

[–] dingus@lemmy.world 7 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (2 children)

I think it varies with culture, but from my understanding, usually they take the first name of the two hyphens for their own marriage.

So you have John Doe and Jane Smith. They hyphenate their names as Doe-Smith and the children do as well.

Say they have a daughter Sally Doe-Smith who meets Tim Johnson-Star. So they marry and hyphenate their names as Johnson-Doe. Both Smith and Star get dropped.

Yes, in examples like this, it still ends up as getting rid of the maternal aspect of the lineage in the very end...but the point is still that both parties are keeping part of and changing another part of their names. It's not an all or nothing total switch of identity. The lineage is male, but the here and now is an equal compromise of identity.

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[–] trolololol@lemmy.world 5 points 6 days ago

You clearly haven't met Brazilians

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[–] countrypunk@slrpnk.net 8 points 6 days ago

The way that I'm gonna do it is whoever has the coolest/most unique last name is the one whose name is adopted. If they're both equally cool, then hyphenated it is.

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[–] UnfortunateShort@lemmy.world 18 points 6 days ago (2 children)

Jokes on you, my dad took my mom's name

[–] bradd@lemmy.world 16 points 6 days ago (2 children)

Your dad took your mother's dads name.

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Its not an unusual thing for lesbian couples to pick a new surname for themselves.

[–] psycho_driver@lemmy.world 10 points 6 days ago

Homelander has the best guy resting bitch face I've ever seen.

[–] ngn@lemmy.ml 6 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (5 children)

why yall having a war in the comments? its a silly meme about last names, who the actual fuck cares?

[–] Ilandar@lemm.ee 3 points 5 days ago

Because their entire poltical and world view is based on identity politics. They cannot simply say "that joke sucked" and move on, they have to make it into yet another virtue signalling exercise and lecture everyone else because that is the behaviour they associate with being a "good person".

[–] madcaesar@lemmy.world 5 points 6 days ago (1 children)

People online do not understand jokes. I refuse to believe anyone in real life would be this dense.

In real life people would see this lol and move on, on the internet they write dissertations about some BS to virtue signal to other strangers how enlightened they are..... 🙄

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[–] Sharp312@lemmy.one 7 points 6 days ago

Holy comment section batman

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