He's activating the weapons of ass destruction.
this post was submitted on 26 Dec 2024
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I think this was addressed explicitly on TNG even! IIRC there was an episode where a kid has ptsd thinking he caused his ship to wreck. It comes out that while the ship was shaking he pressed his forearm up against the panel for balance. One of the enterprise crew tells him at the climax he couldn’t have messed anything up because he’s not crew or something
And the designers of LCARS informed the cast that any button they pressed was the correct button, because the system was smart enough to present a custom smart interface that was intuitive to the crew member using it. Presumably, it’s also smart enough to recognize Riker’s ass.
Oh, it is very familiar with Riker's ass.
Same.
Us and half the alpha quadrant
The idea that the computer can tell who is interacting with the panel, authenticate them, and distinguish a command from something set/leaning on it makes sense. Riker is trusting that system. They could have made a throwaway joke about Riker breaking a prototype replacement in testing when he leaned on it.
They have psychic doors, so ass detection should be a piece of cake.
When I was in university one of the things I did for the completion of my degree was to invent something. I made a door sensor that used cameras and intention detection to work out if the door needed to open or not.
Simply been near it wouldn't cause it to open, you actually had to be intentionally striding in the correct direction.
It never went anywhere because it's not actually useful technology and even in mass production would probably have cost 10x what a simple infrared sensor would have, it just always bugged me that automatic doors in businesses used to open just because someone was stood near them, and let the cold air in.
And prescient com badges.
Edit: Im sure the com badges can also recognize Rikers ass.
Apparently Johnathan Frakes had hip issues which is why Riker stepped over chairs and he was always leaning on things.
Plus it’s a totally alpha move. BDE (big dilithium energy) move if I ever saw one.
Plus he's fucking tall.
Only 6'3".
He's fucking tall.
Source: 5'4".
I've seen it all, yet never seen that. wow.
They'd likely have similar technology with their touchscreens as well do ours. It's not meant to react against any pressure, but only recognizes conductive material.
And Starfleet would make sure NOT to have the ass of their uniforms made of that kind of material for these exact reasons
Boimler did say Starfleet is always updating and improving them. Maybe that's why they changed on the D. Riker forced them to invent anti-console padding
I wonder how many similar technologies Riker is responsible for:-).
Instant site-to-site transporting condoms, probably
Do they use condoms in Star Trek? I presume there would be a much better standard for birth control and disease prevention by that point.
I imagine it's gonna be tough to top the classic Wrap it Up approach, especially as we discover all the strange new STIs. Physical separation is important for all kinds of things
That man could make me smile no matter what mood I'm in
"Computer, emergency protocol 68 on my location"
box of condoms materializes on nearby table
Riker programmed the computer to have the condom materialize on his dong. He's still perfecting the mechanics of having it transport midthrust just as he's about to...fire his torpedoes, full spread.
He's got a whole hospital on Risa named after him. As well as their innoculation protocol.
And yet a touchscreen that doesn't explode is still beyond all of their technology.
Do you want explosion free screens, or screens you can sit on? You can't have it both ways.
That's what happens when your computer designers seem to have a microtape loose, and decide that connecting the multi-exawatt power system directly to all the powered systems is a good idea.
Prssumably the same people who build a malevolent AI that takes over the ship every few decades, or makes it so that starships explode if they bonk into anything hard enough.
Look, there's a reason you can wire almost any heavy machinery into any random console or wall panel... When you run this much power to every station, exploding panels are gonna happen.
It's either that, or we run our ships like Vulcans, and that's just boring.
Username checks out.
The consoles occasionally exploding into sparks or rocks is on purpose. It gives all the engineers that aren't the chief engineer something to do.
Ah! An excuse to post my favorite GIF (again):
Man, between Lt. Pierce and the disgruntled workers apparent from your GIF, Utopia Planitia had some problems.
Related to your second link:
When I was young, my friend and I got evicted from our first apartment for having way too many wild parties. When we were moving, we tried to fix as much of the damage as we could because we were broke and afraid of being sued.
Before we patched a big hole in the drywall we filled it with empty beer cans and hilarious pornography. They ended up bulldozing that shithole building a few years later. I hope we made somebody laugh.
I believe there was a mention in Lower Decks about having to refill the rocks in the bridge consoles.
EDIT: S5E8 "Upper Decks"
Billups: "My team replaced all the Cordry rocks in the ceiling panels on the bridge."
Ransom: "Ugh, hate those things. They always fall out and hit me on the head when we take damage."
Billups: "Well, their non-centrosymmetry disrupts the charge leptons in the isolinear pathways of the main deflector, which then causes-"
They could do it at the expense of fewer lives at least. I realize it's Bridge Crew and they'll come back, but do they really need to keep climbing the Black Mountain just to give the engineers some busywork?
Data: “Commander, you just vaporized the Vulcan supply convoy.”
My phone already knows the difference between handpalm and fingertips, so that's already covered.
Although I once saw a guy shutdown a factory by sitting in the edge of a desk and they mouse that was lying there. He managed to use his behind to click shutdown and press ok on the confirmation screen. Even the most improbable will happen one day.
I was at a party in a small apartment many years ago. I was leaning against the oven/range with my ass while hanging out in the kitchen. I managed to turn on one of the back burners high enough that it set a box of teabags on fire. We were so damn confused for a little bit.
Everyone be checking out Riker.
I count three.
Riker's best day ever:
He fucked every one of the other Rikers. Every single one.
Even this guy.
Especially that guy.
I was actually gonna post “four” (people checking him out).
I was number three.
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