this post was submitted on 26 Nov 2024
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And Finally...

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Florida inmate compares herself to 'Virgin Mary' after getting pregnant from saran-wrapped semen tossed into air vent by fellow prisoner (www.latintimes.com)
submitted 1 day ago by Emperor to c/andfinally
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29-year-old Daisy Link was being held at the Turner Guilford Knight Correctional Center in Miami-Dade County, Florida, when she met 24-year-old Joan Depaz, initially contacting him through the vents in their prison cells, according to WSVN7.

"You would knock on it and you can hear the people from the different floors. You would stand on the toilet actually to be able to talk to them," said Link. "Being in isolation for so long you begin to spend hours and hours talking to this person, you know, to the point where it's almost as if you're in the same room with them."

...

After Link and Depaz began a romantic relationship, Depaz shared his ambitions to have a child with Link, according to WSVN 7News.

"I always really wanted to have a baby. And I'm not gonna get to do that for a really long time," said Depaz, recounting what he told Link. "So if I had to choose somebody, you know, it would be you. And she was like, 'Yeah, we could do that.'"

Depaz and Link then hatched a plan to create a direct line between each other's cells using bedding. Once they had established this, Depaz began sending Link his own semen wrapped in saran wrap.

...

"I put the semen in Saran Wrap every day like five times a day for like a month straight" he continued.

Link described receiving the packages, which were rolled up "almost like a cigarette", administering them to herself using yeast infection applicators.

After a couple of attempts, Link became pregnant with "a miracle baby", conceiving "like the Virgin Mary," according to Depaz.

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[–] surph_ninja@lemmy.world 1 points 5 minutes ago

[–] MrPoletki 6 points 2 hours ago

spits out coffee

wwwhhhhhhaaaaattt?

[–] Thcdenton@lemmy.world 23 points 14 hours ago

[–] njm1314@lemmy.world 20 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

Who wants to take the odds on this actually being a guard's kid after the DNA test is done?

[–] humble_pete_digger@lemm.ee 11 points 17 hours ago

They are accused murderers. Meaning they won't likely getting out till old AF and never going to be able to have kids.

There is very good chance they did this for that reason.

[–] PrimeMinisterKeyes@lemmy.world 13 points 18 hours ago

This reminded me of a story in "Archipelago Gulag." Bear in mind, some gulags were absolutely vast.
So at least in this particular gulag, women and men had separate dormitories, but men often visited the ladies' huts and openly got it on, resulting in a lot of pregnancies. Pregnant women didn't need to work and after their 2nd (3rd?) child, they were discharged and could go home.
The guards finally managed to keep the intruders out, but now, men and women just met after work, out in the open. Guards put up barbed wire to gender-separate the areas. Pregnancies surged even harder. How so? You see, the wire did not touch the ground in all places. So the men got down under the wire, on their backs. The women squatted down, and...
The guards then put up a solid fence, but good jumpers/ climbers could get over it, so... pregnancies, still. Finally, they made the fence so tall that the baby-making stopped... almost entirely.

[–] nobleshift@lemmy.world 1 points 13 hours ago

Uuuggg. MDC, not even once. Believe it or not absolutely no one here was surprised by this story.

[–] Marthirial@lemmy.world 10 points 22 hours ago

Mommy, where do babies come from? The Stork, love, you, the pipes.

[–] x00z@lemmy.world 10 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

Getting a child in prison.

What could go wrong?

[–] riodoro1@lemmy.world 1 points 20 hours ago

You know what? With those people I think it’s better that they did it in prison.

[–] SkaveRat@discuss.tchncs.de 46 points 1 day ago (1 children)

And they say romance is dead

[–] humble_pete_digger@lemm.ee 7 points 18 hours ago* (last edited 18 hours ago)

They might be in there for a long time, no conjugal allowed. It's possible when they get out - they won't be able to have kids, so they did this.

Us prison system is a brutal dehumanizing place

[–] SleafordMod 114 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

An image of Jeff Goldblum in the movie Jurassic Park, with a quote he says in that movie: "Life, uh, finds a way"

[–] ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net 13 points 1 day ago

Not like this Jurassic Park Scientist man. 😭

Not like this.

[–] Emperor 121 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Who says romance is dead?

[–] state_electrician@discuss.tchncs.de 2 points 1 hour ago* (last edited 1 hour ago)

Those two cookies are in for murder 1 and murder 2 plus other violent offenses. Just in case other people were wondering why they said they wouldn't get a chance to be a parent for a very long time.

The proud father:

And the happy mother:

[–] socsa@piefed.social 51 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Anyone can be a father. But it takes semen in Saran Wrap every day like five times a day for like a month straight to be a dad.

[–] TheSlad@sh.itjust.works 46 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Still a better love story than Twilight?

[–] southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 16 points 1 day ago

Absolutely. If nothing else, I'm not hoping everyone involved dies at the end, which is a massive change from twilight

[–] Hossenfeffer 34 points 1 day ago (1 children)

So that's how God did it, huh?

[–] Emperor 16 points 1 day ago

The Bible hand-waves away some steps, but pretty much.

[–] celeste@kbin.earth 33 points 1 day ago (5 children)

It's the tokophobia talking, but I do find it fascinating how much people can want to be pregnant.

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[–] essteeyou@lemmy.world 55 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (4 children)

5 times a day for a month!?

Where's he getting that much Saran wrap in jail?

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[–] Zip2 42 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (3 children)

The Shaw-wank Redemption?

Edit: Or Sore-shaft Redemption.

[–] Empricorn@feddit.nl 0 points 12 hours ago* (last edited 12 hours ago)

Prison Wank?
The Rock (hard)

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[–] chunkystyles@sopuli.xyz 11 points 1 day ago

"Potion seller, I need your strongest potions."

[–] dotslashme@infosec.pub 48 points 1 day ago

That headline just got wilder with every word

[–] Supervisor194@lemmy.world 35 points 1 day ago

Huh, I need to re-read the Gospels, I don't remember the part about Mary stuffing semen she got from the HVAC vents into her cooter. God indeed works in mysterious ways.

[–] fakeman_pretendname 32 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (7 children)

To save any other Britons having to search it, "Saran Wrap" is American for "Cling Film".

[–] state_electrician@discuss.tchncs.de 3 points 4 hours ago

And for the Germans: Frischhaltefolie

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[–] gramie@lemmy.ca 20 points 1 day ago (2 children)

I don't know, I am more inclined to believe that they found a way to meet up and have sex, but they are trying to hide that so they don't get into trouble. Maybe the facility is going along with it, so they don't get into trouble either.

[–] ChapulinColorado@lemmy.world 5 points 19 hours ago

Or a guard trying to hide it like some people said on other comments.

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