this post was submitted on 18 Nov 2024
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traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns

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hi so i forgot to message the person who was next (sorry HelltakerHomosexual) so i'm just gonna talk about a thing i like

Shadow the Hedgehog is a character that appears in the Sonic the Hedgehog series. Characterized by his sharp wit and strong sense of purpose, Shadow is a recurrent arch-rival of Sonic the Hedgehog, whom he resembles and shares many abilities. He is a major supporter of trans people, as evidenced by his catchphrase, "Trans people are cool!"

^ this is all from the wiki btw

I like Shadow a lot. His first appearance in the series is in a game where him and Sonic are both fighting the government and destroying these multi-million dollar gunships. Sonic is doing it because he loves communism but Shadow is doing it because he has a blood feud against G.U.N., who are like the global government death squads because they killed this girl, Maria, who he was best friends with.

Maria basically had an incurable illness that Eggman's grandpa was trying to cure by creating an immortal lifeform, which is actually how Shadow was born. Also, Shadow has a copy of Maria's soul I guess? Seriously, look it up. I'm reading all this shit for the first time right now and that sounds kinda trans to me.

Anyway, she gets shot by the troops and despite Maria telling Shadow to be normal and happy, Eggman's grandpa is pissed off about it so he starts psyopping Shadow into wanting to kill everyone on Earth. Eggman's grandpa successfully does the psyop and locks Shadow away until Eggman finds and releases him.

With his newfound power, Shadow starts being evil and helping Eggman find the Chaos Emeralds because he sees him piss on the moon or something. This goes on for a while until he gets back on the space station and remembers what Maria said, deciding to finally be normal and happy.

He switches up, goes Hyper Shadow and helps Sonic defeat the Biolizard which is basically what it sounds like: a giant lizard who wears the space station like a little jacket and shoots lasers from his mouth. Also, that thing was the prototype Ultimate Lifeform before they decided on the optimal form of existence: a little bipedal anthro hedgehog.

So they beat this lizard up, I guess it dies and then the space station is hurtling toward the Earth. Shadow takes a Chaos Emerald and, with the help of Sonic, does one last Chaos Control on the space station, returning it to a stable altitude. Sonic finds himself back on the space station as he flies into the atmosphere. After this, a big semi-translucent Shadow appears on top of the Earth and everyone can see it.

Why would I lie about that? Here it is.

Anyway, a bunch of shit happens after that but I don't care about it. If someone else wants to talk about Shadow the Hedgehog (2005) feel free. What I really wrote this out to justify talking about is the moon in Sonic games. Like I said before, the moon gets pissed on and destroyed with the help of Shadow,

and then in the next game it's just fine but evil now(???)

and after THAT it's not evil anymore but it's fully intact:

What the fuck? Why? How? I watched it get blown up. Who put the moon back together? Anyway, we're getting in the weeds here. Welcome to the mega.


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[–] TerminalEncounter@hexbear.net 18 points 3 days ago (3 children)

I was curious about the major themes I yap about in my sessions and was shocked to find "longing for a connection" be one of em. The other ones made sense to me. But longing for a connection... I thought I was coming across as independent and aloof and maybe more avoidant, this feels so weird. I talked to my mom about it, she said "no that makes sense." Talk to my friends about it, "no it tracks." Well what the hell?!? Here I am trying to push this down and not even aware of it, thinking I'm building up this protective armor but meanwhile I'm coming across as some squishy wounded person with the emotional equivalent of an open sore???

[–] ashinadash@hexbear.net 3 points 2 days ago

Squishy (positive connotation)

[–] Thallo@hexbear.net 10 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I feel like you post about it frequently, too 🤭

You definitely come off as independent, but I wouldn't call you aloof. You're certainly not squishy or the emotional equivalent of an open sore, but you do seem quite wistful at times~

[–] TerminalEncounter@hexbear.net 12 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] Thallo@hexbear.net 9 points 3 days ago (1 children)

You're loooooooonging

Why do you think I was trying to get you into a Florence nightingale like situation!?

[–] TerminalEncounter@hexbear.net 9 points 3 days ago (1 children)

This is like being the emperor and finding out you were naked the whole time. Or being a New York cockroach and they just turned on the lights.

[–] Thallo@hexbear.net 8 points 3 days ago

Now that the lights are on, our little roach is gonna scramble under the couch to find her connection 🥺

[–] naom3@hexbear.net 7 points 3 days ago (1 children)

You don’t come across like that, but ‘longing for connection’ definitely tracks

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[–] AshenWolf@hexbear.net 14 points 3 days ago

I finished my journal. I'm remembering all of the things that have happened these past 6 months, what I've done, what's changed, how long ago some of these things feel. Just 7 months ago, I thought I was for all intents and purposes cis. That's not that long, and yet it feels like it's just a memory, and a distant one at that. I'm going to start another journal, that much is certain, but it'll be strange to start from what will feel like the beginning. It felt strange reaching what felt like the end. It gave me end-of-an-era feelings, even though I've really only just begun.

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk. It was a missed opportunity not to add this to the end of my essay post earlier this week.

[–] PaX@hexbear.net 11 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Mildly posted at max power a little today wtf, my profile is now a wall of text lol

Eepy now sleepi

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[–] JohnBrownsBussy2@hexbear.net 14 points 3 days ago

I take back what I said about pants chain. I had picked one up at a thrift shop, and I have the chance to put on full makeup and try stuff out tonight. Honestly, it kinda slaps, although the color of the metal doesn't match some of my other jewelry accessories (it's more of a gunmetal than a silver).

[–] AshenWolf@hexbear.net 14 points 3 days ago (3 children)

My HRT checkup lasted 5 minutes and nothing of note happened. Yeah, that's it, although they do sound like they'll give me prog in 6 months. Could have gotten it now, but I feel like it's safer, and not any worse, to wait a bit longer.

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[–] Mousy@hexbear.net 12 points 3 days ago
[–] Yor@hexbear.net 20 points 3 days ago

/jsarah mcbride could consider detransitioning too since that would also make working with both sides of the aisle easier ☝️🤓

[–] LocalOaf@hexbear.net 13 points 3 days ago (1 children)

CW foodThey made Cracker Jack woke!! maddened pronouns

[–] SuperZutsuki@hexbear.net 7 points 3 days ago

I'm so happy for her

[–] gwysibo@hexbear.net 12 points 3 days ago (2 children)

miss my cool trans discord hangout spots, hasn't been the same since 2020

[–] ashinadash@hexbear.net 3 points 2 days ago

Where are/were the cool trans discords? All of mine had libs :/

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[–] gaystyleJoker@hexbear.net 10 points 3 days ago (10 children)
[–] SuperZutsuki@hexbear.net 6 points 3 days ago

Is this what you've been trying to say?

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[–] ComradeMonotreme@hexbear.net 11 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Non binary because I like boys in a gay way and girls in a gay way too.

[–] JohnBrownsBussy2@hexbear.net 17 points 3 days ago (2 children)

First morning after starting HRT last night. Can definitely feel the diuretic effects of the spiro, although I was also up really late so that could contribute to the dry mouth. Honestly, can't differentiate the effects of the E from placebo effects at the moment. I think I feel better, like things are more clear and I feel more alert/present than I usually do in the morning.

[–] EstraDoll@hexbear.net 14 points 3 days ago

the spiro side effects you will notice almost instantly, but the E will likely take a couple weeks before you notice anything. You'll probably feel a little emotional changes at first, and your tits will start to get sore more quickly than you'd think

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[–] HelltakerHomosexual@hexbear.net 17 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (2 children)

reading yuri to inject some joy into my veins

too many royals, going back to dooming

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[–] Josephine_Spiro@hexbear.net 10 points 3 days ago (3 children)

Is it Spiro or oral estradiol that makes you piss? For whichever one it is, I need to switch off of it because I forget to drink water a lot and am frequently lightheaded

[–] TerminalEncounter@hexbear.net 10 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Spironolactone is primarily a dieuretic/water pill. It makes you piss more, which can help with blood pressure and more rarely some electrolyte imbalances. Off-label, it also has some kind of antiandrogen effect so it gets prescribed as HRT! But it still does the diuretic thing.

Also you should drink more water anyway, no more dehydrated trans femmes >:(

[–] AshenWolf@hexbear.net 9 points 3 days ago

Spiro, it's a diuretic.

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[–] TerminalEncounter@hexbear.net 13 points 3 days ago (2 children)

I'm making bread today~ 🍞

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[–] morte@hexbear.net 9 points 3 days ago (1 children)

catgirl-flop lying on the couch doing nothing and arguing with family preemptively in my head in anticipation of thanksgiving has me all worn out. I think i'll lie down on the couch and argue with ppl in my head to take my mind off things

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[–] ashinadash@hexbear.net 11 points 3 days ago (4 children)

Actually talking about Psycho Nymph Exile, I discuss weird slightly morbid things, also nsfw!I realise that when I posted, forgot to explain what Psycho Nymph actually is. Apologies, I am rusty at posting. It doesn't have a blurb per se which is very unhelpful, I had no idea what it was going in.

Because I'm silly, the best I can describe it as, is "Neon Genesis Evangelion, but with the viscera and queer dials cranked to 11" pretty much. So it's huuuuge biomechs (here "GAIGA") piloted by traumatised youths, deploying to battle whatever ANTI-GAIGA are. Presumably the establishment is running some kind of terrible scheme behind the scenes, but the pilots end up with DSTP (Despair Syndrome with Temporal Purge, subtle I know) pretty much reliably as a result of piloting, and after a lil worldbuilding (as a treat) the story picks up following Vellus, post-discharge from the academy of tight plugsuits after she accidentally maims her ex-girlfriend when her gaiga goes ballistic due to some new modification. She hangs out with her new sister-girlfriend, Isidol.

I always thought what NGE needed was for the mechs to be giant feral women with chastity cages, yeah. This is the correct way to build on the genre comfy-cool

Psycho Nymph is all sludge and goo and black bile and mild psychidelia, DSTP can manifest as many symptoms, from excess foreign fluid (DSTP-Black emerges as a slimy fluid from the orifices) to weird skin moisture things (DSTP-Clear (type B) condenses, vapors, or frosts on the body. Reports of eye-based DSTP-Clear leakage are unsubstantiated.) to Pheromone Poisoning (You will know.) to multiple pupils. (Vellus has three irises in each eye. You can’t see them all when her eyes are narrowed, like if she’s tense or tired or horney. Right now Isidol reflects in all six of Vellus’ pupils.) sic btw, no idea why the word is spelt "horney" persistently.

There's almost no hard technology either, though; the helmets and plugsuits seem to be it, and for everything else from joysticks ("She fingers the joystick, sculpted from a neural stem. It tenses under her grip like a clit.") to public internet-y wall jacks (more like a squishy orifice) it's not exactly squeamish but it is very fleshy and fluidy. Very cool.

I'm only like 50 pages in, of uh 120? but I'm excited to read more today and subsequently poke around online about it. I'm certain everyone else will have much more intelligent views on it, me I'm just taking in all the new smells and sensations. I noticed that putting several chapters of sickly gore-y weird body horror

She’s almost got a nice image together of a taller woman kissing her on the forehead, drowning her in musky torrents of hair, arms wrapping around her once, then twice, then endlessly, a bandaging repetition. The image shatters as a beam of DSTP-Orange blasts through the roof of her apartment, illuminating it like a muddy, humid cave full of fire. Dormant memories hatch all over her body.

right before the one beautiful moment of chill peaceful contented T4T cuddling, the latter feels even more like a respite from everything else:

Isidol wraps herself over me tight as a blanket, a toasty momcave. Even as I melt into the mattress, I know she isn’t asleep, or even resting. I imagine her face as a machine gun nest on the hill of my shoulder. What is she watching for? She must be guarding me against psychic evil, because my head is golden and warm and empty. Under her aura I fall asleep without fear.

It kinda fucks, I'm a big fan. It tickles my nerve endings and lights shit up in my brain just right. It's about trashgirls living on the edge of society being mobbed for the crime of attempted survival. It is about girls in trouble. it is about blood. cat-vibing Surprisingly thpugh I haven't put on any Rooks while reading, maybe I should try Void Fantasy tbh.

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