Terrible photos listed by estate agents/realtors that are so bad they’re funny.
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Posts in this community must be of property (inside or out) listed for sale which contains a terrible element. “Terrible” can refer to:
the photo itself (finger over the lens, too far away, people in the shot, bad Photoshop, etc.)
the property (weird layout, questionable plumbing, unsound structure, etc.)
the interior (carpeted bathrooms, awful taste interiors, weird mannequins/taxidermies/art, inflatable pools indoors, etc.)
the actual listing itself including unusual descriptions and unrealistic pricing. However, this isn’t a community to discuss the housing market in general. This is a comedic community - let’s keep it light.
Photos can be sourced from anywhere and be any age, but please check they haven’t already been posted.
Censor any names/contact details of private individuals.
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Spoiler image for the super impatient:
spoiler
Egyptian room is certainly a choice, but the rest I'm not mad about? The exposed walls look legit and give the house some character, and the spaces that are renovated are tasteful.
My only complaint with the rest is the weird kitchen that's both gigantic and way too small.
It is a bit weird, I think the 3.5m walls and the cabinets not reaching the ceiling are messing with my brain.
That was my thought, those rooms in the middle pictures looked better than the earlier ones
Is that a toilet?
It's the royal throne.
Bad real estate? More like amazing real estate. I love it lmao. Well, except for the pricetag.
But that's in Canadian dollars, so it's like 20% cheaper in USD.
Valley of the Rings
Toot-and-come-in
Nifertiti
The Bummy
Shatophagus
Cleofartra
Sarcophashits
The irony of my laughing at this while taking a shit is not lost on me.
Shits 'n giggles
yeah, I think so. A black toilet.
It's a toilet and a shower.
All toilets are if you get creative.
Me: Well, this looks perfectly normal, I don't really see why they....Oh.
That’s an incredible house. I wouldn’t have the heart to tear out the sarcophagus toilet, even if the place didn’t probably cost more money than I’ll ever have in my lifetime.
Strong vibes that a retired couple currently live there and a property developer will partition it into ten apartments.
The sarcophagus toilet.
Worth the visit!
Craziest part- then it opens and you see what's inside.
Jokes aside, I could live here
I liked the watermelon room
Honestly, I just want to go through all these sites and red-pen the basic English errors. We're supposed to be better than this.
Also, the house is BONKERS-gorgeous. I can dig the quasi-finished basement and the uncovered window near the bath - that'd be fixed soon! - but the painted-wood floors really take me back to my youth (although they were painted for us because we had no money to put proper flooring down). I love the exposed hot-water heating, as our unfinished basement had that along the roof near the support structure, too. For me, this is all retro-based joy.
But that room; what do you do? Paint would desecrate it, but leaving its eyesore self is also sacrilege. One can only either sell the entire house on as this owner has done, or perhaps find a way to remove the roof and wall panels and rebuild them in some rich wank's monkey-house somewhere else. Rich bastard's not taking the floors but he can have the custom finishes too.
All this for c$8k/mo . That's double my rent, and we're really proud of our new apartment, in a big building with AC standard, atop a huge secure garage and in the middle of a relaxing 15-min mini-city design just steps from the metro. I can't be lured away for double, brick walls and painted mohogany be damned.
I think the solution is to board up the room and leave it for future generations to rediscover and be horrified and mystified on turns
This is like the house of my dreams. Not my daydreams, my actual sleeping dreams, where each room is super weird and I can never find my way back to the one room I need to be in.
Woah you may have spoiled it but you left the toilet for us to find.
Don't you want the ability to see when your neighbour across the street gets home while you take a bath? The real crime is placing the toilet with it's back to the window, so now you can't take a shit while looking people in the eye who walks past your house.
every room looks like it belongs to a different house
3,500 sq ft, 0.05 acres?!
Considering that it looks to be a very old house, that room may have been decorated in the 1920s, when Ancient Egypt was all the rage. I don't see a problem here.
According to the write-up the house was built in 1859 but the Egyptian suite was painted by Mike Lewis, who appears to be an artist based in Dartmouth, Nova Scotia. Looking him up I found this story from CBC when it was on the market in 2020 and it seems it was commissioned by the then-owner, a historian and filmmaker.
A super white space with a fireplace in every room, then suddenly you're in a bedroom without walls (I guess they ran out of money?), then a horrible marble bathroom, then suddenly it looks like a completely different house with terracotta tiles and feature brickwork everywhere, then a toilet with like... limestone walls? A kitchenette bigger than my actual kitchen in a sitting room where none of the 6+ chairs face the TV. I dig the spoiler room though, that last fuckin toilet got me. I couldn't imagine living in a place like that.
I think it's brick in some areas because that's the converted basement area. The other parts probably already had walls like that and they just painted them.
It's a very strange house. Most of it is beautiful but not very stylistically consistent, and then boom, sarcophagus toilet.
Lots of effort to make it immaculate but the 3 different types of wood in the downstairs clash horribly, eurgh..
I think the wood would be fine if the kitchen cabinets weren't so out of place. The cabinets are atrocious, especially with the kitchen floor. Also, painting the radiators gold might be considered a hate crime, but at least that's a relatively easy fix.
I kill my dad to have this house. Even the Egyptian stuff I'd fuck with.
Definitely not on a half acre lot though
I have a couple questions:
...i think we explored this place in our call of cthulhu campaign; poor henry was reduced to black ooze...
I thought the awful inlaw sweet was the surprise at first, then I knew I was wrong.
*suite
That's rad as all get out, not terrible at all
Taste is developed, not bought
They should inform the number of ghosts by sqr meter
My next snapped at the sudden shift in decor. It's not like any of those are bad in a vacuum, but it's a pretty bold choice to go from normal midcentury modern to rustic to creepy basement corridor back to modern again and then the egyptian tomb.
I actually really like those bathroom fixtures that look like dragons and serpents. Guilty pleasures.
When did Mumm-Ra move to Canada????