this post was submitted on 12 Nov 2024
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Programmer Humor

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[–] ijhoo@lemmy.ml 109 points 1 week ago (4 children)

HP: you are not going to get fired. You will quit.

[–] thejevans@lemmy.ml 35 points 1 week ago (1 children)

glances over at HP laptop I requested a replacement for 6 months ago because it overheats if I have a video call on and a spreadsheet open

[–] tetris11@lemmy.ml 13 points 1 week ago

My HP is genuinely a creepy laptop. In the BIOS is a an "HP remote setting" as well as 3 other remote modes all at the bios level asking to join my wifi, again, at the BIOS level.

I work from my home laptop. I have a small offline private network between my work laptop and home laptop that I send ansible jobs to (since the work laptop is a powerful machine), but that work laptop does not touch the internet.

[–] allywilson@lemmy.ml 27 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Well, let's see...my work laptop experience (so far).

  • Lenovo: Worked there for 14 years
  • HP: Worked there for 6 months
  • Apple: Worked there for 6 months
  • HP: Worked there for 2.5 years
  • Apple: Worked there for a year
  • Dell: Worked there for 2.5 years--
[–] xmunk@sh.itjust.works 8 points 1 week ago

Alternatively, your laptop will spontaneously combust firing you from life.

I seriously don't understand how that fucking company is still in business.

[–] crazyminner@lemmy.ml 6 points 1 week ago
[–] TimeSquirrel@kbin.melroy.org 48 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Panasonic Toughbook: you accidentally applied to a job on an oil rig.

[–] Rooskie91@discuss.online 25 points 1 week ago

Haha I was going to say you're about to get shot in a foreign country.

[–] corsicanguppy@lemmy.ca 6 points 1 week ago

Network Operations Field Tech. They climb the ladders and debug the cameras. Absolutely toughbook.

[–] Damage@feddit.it 3 points 1 week ago

Siemens Field PG: you make a lot of money

[–] 7bicycles@hexbear.net 31 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Honestly good litmus test, if you got a Thinkpad that means somebody seems to listen to IT on what to buy which does bode sort of well for a tech job

[–] django@discuss.tchncs.de 22 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I requested a thinkpad and installed arch linux on it. How safe is my job?

[–] Lussy@hexbear.net 25 points 1 week ago

Answer: how safe is the job from you?

[–] xmunk@sh.itjust.works 18 points 1 week ago

If you try to give notice they'll kidnap you and you'll spend the next three decades of your life singlehandedly keeping the server running from a secure location somewhere in the Poconos.

[–] xmunk@sh.itjust.works 22 points 1 week ago

Looks depressingly at the shiny new ThinkPad my work got me to replace my old ThinkPad... I'd get so much fucking severance if these fucks ever laid me off - is it really never going to happen?

[–] st0v@lemmy.zip 19 points 1 week ago

ThinkPads for 24 years, same.company. last one had a terrible battery, After a few months, I couldn't take it anymore and complained about the battery life.

... now I have a Dell. Maybe that was my first strike used up.

[–] r00ty@kbin.life 14 points 1 week ago

I've been using thinkpads as a work laptop since they were branded IBM Thinkpad. So, I have nothing further to comment.

[–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml 14 points 1 week ago

Guess I can stop worrying about job security for the forseeable future

[–] Lussy@hexbear.net 11 points 1 week ago

Damn, the Dell one is accurate for me.

[–] BartyDeCanter@lemmy.sdf.org 10 points 1 week ago

Looking back... that was right, hmm, 7 out of 8 times. The miss was a very chill place that gave out Dells, but I lost my job because the funding round didn't come in.

[–] propter_hog@hexbear.net 9 points 1 week ago

Razor: if your house burns down because of the inevitable lithium fire it will cause, you're on your own

[–] freddyforgetti@lemmygrad.ml 8 points 1 week ago

So far flip the dell and Lenovo around and it’s accurate for me