this post was submitted on 03 Nov 2024
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I have this argument with my wife often. I like to cook, and for me cooking is more than taking frozen meatballs and dumping them into a pan full of jar pasta sauce. I would rather make the sauce, maybe have some meatballs made in advance. My wife seems to think that pre-made stuff or mixes are the way to go. I would rather just make pancakes scratch, which isn't hard, where she would rather I just open the mix, add water, and make the food. But I do agree that having a frozen lasagna is better than taking the full effort when I just want to get dinner going. So where are your eat the pre-made vs make it from scratch?

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[–] Vanth@reddthat.com 74 points 1 week ago (2 children)

You enjoy cooking, she doesn't. You can cook from scratch, she can heat up the frozen stuff. I don't see why this is cause for an argument.

[–] psion1369@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

She will insist on the mixes.

[–] Vanth@reddthat.com 26 points 1 week ago (1 children)

As in when you cook she wants you to use the premade stuff? Why?

[–] psion1369@lemmy.world 10 points 1 week ago (7 children)

Nostalgia for what her mother used to make.

[–] BryceBassitt@lemmy.ml 31 points 1 week ago

Yo man, that's a legit resson for her to prefer one type of cooking over another

[–] Vanth@reddthat.com 24 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

NGL man, you're coming across as Defensive Internet Man on this. You two "argue frequently" about this, she "seems to think" mixes are the way to go when it sounds like it's really only pancake mix that's hanging you up and you know perfectly well why she likes pancake mix over scratch. She "tried to pull" nostalgia on you as if missing her deceased mother is a trick she's playing on you.

Amateur advice from someone with no special related experience: any time someone says they like a Thing because it reminds them of Close Dead Relative, maybe just take their word for it and let them be.

Edit: and apparently she's doing the grocery shopping. I'm starting to wonder who plans the menu throughout the week and how these disagreements are playing out from the spouse's perspective.

[–] Nomad@infosec.pub 5 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Yeah maybe she might be a little overreaching there? Forcing someone to always make (and eat) the thing you prefer is not a healthy relationship. Time to compromise.

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[–] dingus@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Yeah, I personally despise cooking. I'll do anything to get my meal the quickest and with the least amount of effort and mess possible. I don't see the big deal. If people want to cook from scratch, go ahead. I'm just not going to be the one to do it. Why does it matter if one person prefers to cook one way and one person prefers the other?

Edit: If it's specifically pancake mix that OP's wife prefers, maybe there is something about the flavor that she likes better with it. My brother also weirdly prefers instant mashed potatoes over homemade...even if he is not the person making them. With certain things, some people just have a preference it seems.

[–] PoopingCough@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago

In this same vein, I've never had a from-scratch brownie that I like better than the box brownies.

[–] bufalo1973@lemmy.ml 25 points 1 week ago (1 children)

If you have time, make food for the whole week and you eat "pre-made food" (point for your wife) made by you from scratch (point for yourself)😁

[–] BearOfaTime@lemm.ee 11 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Some people don't like leftovers, I can only figure their experience with leftovers has always been bad.

I love having leftovers around, but I make a pot of good stuff with plans for the leftovers. Some things are never leftovers because they don't hold well (anything with leeks or tarragon for example).

[–] psion1369@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago

Sometimes, leftovers don't reheat the same way.

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[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 12 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (5 children)

I would prefer to make it from scratch. But it's usually cheaper to use frozen and I'm a broke bitch, so that's usually what I have.

Pancakes definitely don't matter. They're easy because it's just mixing a few powders and some milk or water and egg. Why not just buy those powders already mixed with a binder? Unless it's Bisquick. Fuck Bisquick pancakes. They're just flat dinner biscuits!

[–] Classy@sh.itjust.works 7 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (4 children)

Pancakes definitely don't matter

Hard disagree. I don't want 1/2 C of high fructose corn syrup, emulsifiers and preservatives in my pancakes, thanks!

1.5 C flour, 1/2 Tsp salt, 3 Tsp baking powder, 1 egg, 1/4 C butter, then whole milk until you get the consistency you like. Best pancakes ever. People who need pancakes to basically be a vehicle to pour pure sugar into their mouth haven't had good 'cakes.

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 6 points 1 week ago (2 children)

People who need pancakes to basically be a vehicle to pour pure sugar into their mouth haven't had good 'cakes.

Do... you not put syrup on your pancakes?

[–] tiefling@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I certainly don't. The best pancakes have butter and very little sugar. Maybe I'll add a drizzle of ultra dark maple syrup if I want that taste, but I certainly don't drench it.

[–] bitchkat@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago

The proper amount of syrup would be "soaked"

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[–] TheOakTree@lemm.ee 6 points 1 week ago

I only buy krusteaz for pancakes. I don't really think the amount of effort it would take to hand-make a similar batter would be worth it, nor would it taste remarkably better.

Though, for actual food, I have the same sentiment as you. I like to cook and experiment, and I have a fairly easy time adjusting things by taste, but I don't have the time/energy/money to be doing everything from scratch.

[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago

bisquick isn't pancake mix. you need to add some oil and an egg or two.

but even then, fuck bisquick pancakes.

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[–] Eccentric@sh.itjust.works 12 points 1 week ago

I try to make everything from scratch, but sometimes I make pre made when I know I'm avoiding eating because I don't feel like cooking. If I make pre made though, I'll always add something to it to bulk it out. Ramen? Handfuls of frozen veg. Frozen pizza? Slap mushrooms, peppers, onions on top. Pasta sauce? Spinach, homemade stock, and carrots.

To me, its about health. I know processed food isn't healthy, so I want to mitigate the damage.

[–] Bougie_Birdie@lemmy.blahaj.zone 12 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Cooking from scratch is almost always going to be less expensive, better tasting, and healthier.

Cooking with pre-made ingredients is often faster and easier.

For me, the decision is often predicated on how much energy I have. Sometimes prepping all the ingredients and the resulting cleanup feels like an impossible undertaking. Which is a shame because I'm a good cook - but sometimes I hate cooking.

Meal prepping or making batch meals is often a happy medium. Homemade food that you can later just reheat. If anybody has tips for making it feel less like I'm eating leftovers all the time, I'm happy to hear them

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[–] PetteriPano@lemmy.world 11 points 1 week ago

My wife is definitely team 'make it from scratch'.

She is also a very slow cook. We also have an infant that is currently taking up 110% of our time.

It's hard for me to justify spending two hours a night preparing a lunch for the next day. She likes to sleep in, so I never get to eat it fresh.. it's always leftovers.

I don't mind cooking something fresh for lunch or dinner, but I'll do something that takes 20 minutes of prep and then take care of itself on the stove or in the oven. Chilli, pot roast, or a casserole.

I think frozen dinners probably have a better balance of protein/carbs/veg than either of us makes, and at half the price.

[–] Brkdncr@lemmy.world 10 points 1 week ago

I have two suggestions: homemade pre-made, and why not both.

You can pre-make things like pancake mix, taco seasoning, pasta sauce seasoning, etc. write any instructions on the ziplock bag or container.

Instant items from a box or bag can usually be dressed up with fresh foods. If she’s cooking then offer to prep fresh items.

Also, respect that some people simple have no patience for cooking and don’t want to learn any. Communicate with each other to understand how to make it work.

[–] Aeri@lemmy.world 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I don't know if it's just where I am in life but I... I just can't be fucked to do stuff man, I'm too ADHD, depressed, autistic, busy, stressed, whatever I don't know.

I buy canned tomato sauce from Sam's Club and meatballs. It's actually reasonably good sauce, they usually have some decent pasta on offer of some variety. That's about as much as you can really ask of me at this point in my life.

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[–] AmbiguousProps@lemmy.today 10 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

I would like to cook more as it just tastes way better (and is much more healthy), but I'm always exhausted especially after work. I suppose my answer is that right now I'm eating a lot of prepared (refrigerated or frozen) food, but would prefer home-cooked meals.

[–] BearOfaTime@lemm.ee 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

If you can, just do one pot of something that makes leftovers that hold well and are easy to reheat. After you get one thing, it gives you some breathing room for the next couple days.

I try to make a big pot of something on Sundays, so I don't have to think about cooking Monday, maybe Tuesday. That gives me a little breathing room. I also make stuff I can portion and freeze - again, gives me a little breathing room.

Last week I was under the weather for 4 days, I just grabbed stuff out of the freezer and threw it in the toaster oven. Zero effort for my sick self. Now I need to restock what I used.

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[–] Etterra@lemmy.world 9 points 1 week ago

This is easy. Whoever's doing the cooking does it their own way. If you don't like it, then you do the cooking so it can be done your way.

[–] waz@lemmy.world 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Personally, as with a lot of the comments, I'm in the food-prep and make it yourself crowd.

I found a book that dives into the details of when it is and isn't worth making things from scratch.

It's called Make the Bread, Buy the Butter.

Honestly, I haven't read it yet. I bought it and let my mom borrow it immediately, but when I get it back I think it will an interesting read.

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[–] intensely_human@lemm.ee 9 points 1 week ago

You are two separate people, so you can do two separate things.

Yay freedom.

[–] Bishma@discuss.tchncs.de 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Most of the time I wish the nutrients would just enter my system without me ever having to think or do anything about it. So I get as close to that as possible.

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[–] weeeeum@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago

Pro tip, make the premade stuff. Make like a gallon of pasta sauce and freeze/can it all. Make like 5 pounds of meatballs and freeze them.

I like to make my pasta sauce when I can, from tomatoes. If you are a fast chopper, it goes by really quickly. Super thin slice it, add some diced enough, maybe some shredded carrot and celery, add some crushed garlic, salt, pepper and some seasonings. In around an hour or so you will have made a bunch of it.

Also look for professional advice for canning, cause idk if my way is the safest. I boil some water in the can in the microwave, dump it then add the pasta sauce, and close it really tight with an oven mitt.

I also grind my own meat, with just a knife. Dice the meat into small cubes and mince it for a while. I do it until it can form a cohesive meatball. Also consider what you'll use it for, if its just being tossed in a bolognese sauce, it doesn't need to be so fine.

You can make pizzas ahead of time too, roll the dough, add marinara, mozzarella and wrap it in foil and put it in the freezer.

I make my own stock too. I'll collect bones and veggie scraps in a freezer bag, and when it's full, I dump it in a slow cooker, set it and forget it. The store bought stuff is basically just water. If it's tasteless, it's baseless.

I've also frozen lasagna portions too, fully cooked. If raw its impossible to cook them without completely de-thawing them.

I also have a box of instant cake batter I mixed together myself. It's like a year old but it's still not terrible!

[–] fjordbasa@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)

This sounds like it has much less to do with food and much more to do with OP’s relationship

[–] Ephera@lemmy.ml 7 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Apparently, OP's wife prefers the taste of the pre-made stuff, because it reminds her of her mother's cooking. But yeah, kind of a weird info to omit...

[–] Schlemmy@lemmy.ml 7 points 1 week ago

Cooking your own meals with unprocessed ingredients is one of the basic parts of a healthy diet.

If you practice a bit cooking a home made meal can be done in less than 30 minutes. If times a issue I have some 20 minute recipes.

I make sure to have a basic stock of ingredients like pasta, flour, some vegetable stock cubes, some assorted spices, onions, fresh garlic,...

[–] jeena@piefed.jeena.net 7 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

My stance is that if you make it from scratch then you know exactly what is in it. If you buy premixed then you don't. Even worse if you buy pre cooked or even frozen after cooking then you're basically eating like if you'd eat reheated leftovers, half of the flavour which makes it taste good is gone.

If time is a problem I can live with not having the most of the flavour, but otherwise I totally enjoy the fresh made.

[–] roofuskit@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (3 children)

Your way is always going to be significantly healthier. Among other issues I think you'll find eating food your wife prefers puts you both well over the recommended sodium intake for a day. This is likely to shorten your life due to heart health.

The healthiest way to shop is to stick to the outside of the super market and skip the packaged foods in the middle.

Nostalgia or not, eating packaged food to often is very unhealthy. Maybe broach it with your wife and ask her if you can satiate her nostalgia in moderation. Having something she really loves out of a package only once or twice a week.

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[–] cosmicrookie@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Having a frozen lasagne is better than taking the full effort when...

Last month i made two lasagnas in one day and had none of it. I cut them up in pieces and froze them into 24 pieces. Now we have home made lasagna for those days where we dont feel like cooking dinner. It really does not need to take too much time and if you enjoy it, there is no need to not do it.

[–] Kaiyoto@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago

Sometimes I don't have the motivation to cook, sometimes I do. Sometimes I have the motivation to get shit done that isn't in the kitchen. Throwing a pizza in the oven can buy me an extra hour of working on something else because I don't have to come in early to wash up, prep, cook, then wash the damn dishes.

Have both options available.

[–] angrystego@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago

I think the one who cooks should do things their way and the others should not interfere unless there's some kind of medical concern.

[–] BearOfaTime@lemm.ee 6 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

Your health says avoid pre-made mixes as much as possible. I'm no salt-phobe (insufficient salt is a greater concern for 99% of people than too much), but even I shy away from the insane amounts of salt/sodium in anything packaged. Some stuff has more sodium in it than anyone should have in a day.

Plus, pre-made mixes often aren't anywhere near as good as making something yourself, and usually more expensive, even allowing for your own time.

There are exceptions of course, but I have spreadsheets to calculate costs of mixes, meals, you name it, and it's rare when something is cheaper to buy pre-made.

Dishwasher detergent powder is the same cost as making myself. As is onion soup mix, gravy mix powder, etc. Most other mixes I make as I go along - making chili uses a mix of different spices which I keep on hand. And I have 3 different chili recipes that use different spice mixes, and the end result is very different. I have a few recipes like this (creole/Cajun for example), that technically use the same spices, but not the same mix, and are very different for it.

I don't understand people like your wife (or one of my siblings) that seem to view eating as just something necessary, (bless their hearts 😁, as my southern family would say)...good food is crucial to me, it's not just something I do to get by. I mean it's something we have to do a few times every day of our lives. I want that experience to be as good as I can as often as I can.

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[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago

anyone who seriously cooks will pick their battles. why make a cake from scratch when boxed mix is just as good. seriously, ask any pro baker.

premix or premade doesn't matter, as long as the end results are the same, good food that can be enjoyed.

if you like cooking because you make everything by scratch, go for it. just know the only reason why it tastes better is because you think it tastes better. when you get down to it, chemicals are chemicals, and cooking is a branch of chemistry.

[–] QuadratureSurfer@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago

Cooking from scratch is excellent... But there's also an extreme for how far you consider "cooking from scratch" to actually be "from scratch"... For Example: https://www.instagram.com/reel/C76cACZB0oq/

Do you milk the cows yourself? Churn the butter? Etc.

[–] pelya@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago

It really depends. One specific shop near my home has good quality frozen meat pancakes and dumplings. Yeah I have made dumplings by hand some 20 years ago, but those frozen ones are simply better. Maybe I can do some exotic dumplings with a buckwheat flour and a lot of eggs, but that would not necessarily be better, just different.

On the other hand, pasta sauce prepared from scratch will always taste better than store-bought one, mainly because the stores here only sell ketchup and mayo, and pretty much all pasta sauce here is some variety of tomato concentrate with a bit of carrots.

[–] python@programming.dev 5 points 1 week ago

I don't care either way, but too many premade meals I have bought in the past were gross and inedible to a point where I had to toss them and just make food from scratch. I just keep the supplies for a quick 1 pot Carbonara in my fridge at all times - it might not be super healthy, but it's always a predictable taste/texture and only costs about 1,50€ per Portion

[–] Schlemmy@lemmy.ml 5 points 1 week ago

Need more reasons to stop eating ultra-processed food? How about 32 of them? That's the number of health problems noted in the largest-ever review of studies about the dangers of diets high in ultra-processed foods. The findings, published online Feb. 28, 2024, by The BMJ, come from a review of 45 analyses published in the last three years, involving about 10 million people in total.

https://www.health.harvard.edu/nutrition/more-evidence-that-ultra-processed-foods-harm-health

[–] LovableSidekick@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Depends on difficulty. I make most things. but a labor-intensive dish like lasagna I'm happy to buy frozen.

[–] grasshopper_mouse@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago

My partner hates cooking, and I love it, so the deal in our house is I cook and they do all the cleaning in the kitchen, unless I made something specifically for me, since they have some medical issues that prevents them from eating certain things, then I will do the cleaning of the mess made during the preparation of cooking that specific meal.

As far as cooking from scratch or pre-made, I'm about half and half. I rarely make my own red sauce or pasta, but all baking is from scratch, breakfast foods like pancakes, yes I would make those from scratch as well. Soups, stews, chili, Asian, Mexican, Indian recipes, mostly from scratch, but many sauce elements I would buy.

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