this post was submitted on 01 Nov 2024
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I've heard quite a few rumours about this

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[–] infuziSporg@hexbear.net 25 points 1 week ago

He was European, therefore he used a bidet

[–] TerminalEncounter@hexbear.net 24 points 1 week ago

He used a bidet, just another way he could foresee the future

[–] Guamer@hexbear.net 23 points 1 week ago

Wiping is the ultimate form of liberalism, he knew this

[–] buh@hexbear.net 18 points 1 week ago

He wiped before pooping

[–] Pynchonesque@hexbear.net 18 points 1 week ago

This is why I left the left

[–] Dirt_Owl@hexbear.net 18 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

We stan a stinky boi

[–] roux@hexbear.net 16 points 1 week ago

He ran out of yards of linen.

[–] bdonvr@thelemmy.club 13 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] TonoManza@lemmygrad.ml 12 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Yes, but every poop was a no-wiper anyway thanks to his impeccable dialectical understanding of the contradictions which take place during consumption and digestion.

Given the amount of beer he drank I highly doubt this.

[–] largerfather@hexbear.net 12 points 1 week ago (2 children)

you still have to wipe after using a bidet.

unless you’re marx.

[–] Hexamerous@hexbear.net 14 points 1 week ago

You have been duped, Comrade.

Toilet-paper is a tool for bourgeois class warfare. Humans have been air-drying for millennia. Only when technology allowed for a steady supply of toilet-paper did the bourgeois put it in every rest room in order to reduce air-drying time and increase "productivity" in the factories. To further discipline the working class they removed the bide completely, so the only option was to smear it around with the paper and walk around with a stinky doo doo ass. This resulted in many workers moving the rest room breaks to the home, further increasing their productivity in the factories (this also lead to a higher work load for the women that have to clean them). However, In Japan, the working class organized and successfully repelled the implementation of this new technology. The Japanese bourgeois responded by investing even more capital into the tools of production and the high tech toilets, for which they're known for today, was born. With an integrated bide and dryer function, this further standardized the rest room break time and regained more productivity and a higher exploitation rate of the Japanese working class.

Remember: Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime, that's why a poop on company time.

[–] RION@hexbear.net 10 points 1 week ago

Unless you have the dryer attachment

[–] axont@hexbear.net 11 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Germans don't poop, they just have another hole they pee out of

[–] BobDole@hexbear.net 2 points 1 week ago

It’s called “das Bierabfallloch“

[–] CliffordBigRedDog@hexbear.net 11 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Jenny von Westphalen at open mic night:

[–] macabrett@lemmy.ml 9 points 1 week ago

baseless liberal propaganda

[–] sisatici@hexbear.net 9 points 1 week ago

Born to shit, forced to wipe

[–] Hexamerous@hexbear.net 9 points 1 week ago

He didn't have to. Marx supplemented with psyllium husk every day.

[–] SexUnderSocialism@hexbear.net 7 points 1 week ago
[–] miz@hexbear.net 6 points 1 week ago

wait, we're supposed to wipe after pooping? I have been wiping before this whole time

No he used a bidet like a civilized person

[–] BobDole@hexbear.net 2 points 1 week ago