this post was submitted on 30 Oct 2024
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Science Memes

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[–] iAmTheTot@sh.itjust.works 203 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Absolutely nothing, because I wouldn't want a stranger to talk to me in an elevator and I was raised to do unto others.

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[–] Fleur_@lemm.ee 131 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Considering it's only 8 seconds this must be the fastest fucking elevator ever so I'm probably screaming

[–] Damage@feddit.it 60 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

The elevator is actually out of order, she likes hanging in there, but you leave as soon as you see it doesn't work

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[–] Mac@mander.xyz 111 points 3 weeks ago (8 children)

I make brief eye contact, purse my lips to form a half-smile, and nod my head downward. Then i move to an open corner of the elevator, i pull my phone out, and i end my turn.

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[–] Rhaedas@fedia.io 92 points 3 weeks ago

Lady in red. It's a simulation, no experiment is going to show anything worthwhile.

"Look again."

looks

"Fuck, I wish you'd stop doing that, Morpheus."

[–] Emi@ani.social 53 points 3 weeks ago

Nothing and just awkwardly stare on the floor or wall, like with anyone else.

[–] chiliedogg@lemmy.world 48 points 3 weeks ago (8 children)

Well, considering the only elevator I take is to a secure area, I'd ask to see your visitor's badge and inform you civilians aren't allowed here unescorted.

[–] Slovene@feddit.nl 13 points 3 weeks ago

She IS the escort.

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[–] UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml 46 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Absolutely nothing because people who have elevator conversations are not worth talking to.

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[–] Fleur_@lemm.ee 45 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (4 children)

Second 1: introduce myself

Second 2: Andrew Tate pose

Second 3: obtain phone number

Second 4: go on date

Second 5: head home with them

Second 6: get touchy

Second 7: undress

Second 8: get off at my floor because I already came at second 1.

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[–] Anticorp@lemmy.world 37 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (5 children)

That's because you have big jugs.

I mean, your boobs are huge!

I mean, I want to squeeze em!

Mamma!

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[–] psmgx@lemmy.world 31 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

Well, Pac-man was originally called Puck-man. They changed it because... Not because Pac-man looks like a hockey puck. "Paku Paku" means "flap your mouth", and they were worried that people would change, scratch out the P turn it into an F, like...

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[–] explodicle@sh.itjust.works 28 points 3 weeks ago (5 children)

I wouldn't say anything because some women find elevator pickup attempts intimidating.

[–] ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com 14 points 3 weeks ago (10 children)

Tbf women say they find just interacting with men at all intimidating, see: Bears. I just don't talk to anyone anymore tbh.

I'm gonna die alone with my cats, but at least I won't be called creepy for asking a woman out for coffee!

Use the apps

No, privacy nightmare.

[–] kilgore_trout@feddit.it 11 points 3 weeks ago

Don't trust what the loud voices say.

Many, if not most, women are normal humans like you, looking for interaction like you.

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[–] Zaphod@discuss.tchncs.de 25 points 3 weeks ago

Nothing because I'm taking the stairs

[–] callouscomic@lemm.ee 24 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

"I can be done in 7."

[–] hsdkfr734r@feddit.nl 24 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (2 children)

I don't understand. What's a uniform gravitational field and why does being inside one feels like standing in an accelerating elevator?

[–] GrabtharsHammer@lemmy.world 28 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

This is a joke about Einstein's form of the Equivalence Principle:

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Equivalence_principle

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[–] woodenghost@hexbear.net 12 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

It's just that normal gravity on earth feels exactly like being in an accelerating elevator in space. So you can't tell the difference from the inside. Like in the elevator you can ask them, whether you're still on earth or accelerating in space. Einstein used this thought experiment to develop the general theory of relativity.

Basically Einstein thinking about that weird feeling you get in your gut when an elevator starts upwards led to him concluding that mass bends spacetime making light from distant stars go in curves around the sun, which was confirmed during the next available solar eclipse.

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[–] Entertainmeonly@lemmy.blahaj.zone 23 points 3 weeks ago (8 children)

Omg girl, you look amazing in that dress. I'm so jealous. Be safe girl and remember to cover your drink.

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[–] Frogmanfromlake@hexbear.net 22 points 3 weeks ago

Nothing. It’s eight seconds and both of us are probably going to be glancing at our phones anyway.

[–] Superfool@lemmy.world 21 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

Get in the lift.

Stare while ripping an absolutely rancid fart that strips the enamel off her teeth.

Sharpie my number across her tits and give her "double-guns" on the way out

[–] isolatedscotch@discuss.tchncs.de 16 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] Superfool@lemmy.world 11 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)
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[–] AI_toothbrush@lemmy.zip 18 points 3 weeks ago

This is getting insane. I (somewhat at least) get those "you have 24hs with me" ones but what am i gonna do with you in 8 seconds. Id rather spend 24h with an egirl than 8 seconds with you lol.

[–] Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 16 points 3 weeks ago

I was expecting this to be a video where her tits bounce in an elevator. Thoroughly disappointed.

[–] problematicPanther@lemmy.world 16 points 3 weeks ago (9 children)

If a hotdog is a sandwich, is the ocean a soup?

[–] fossilesque@mander.xyz 10 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
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[–] Hikermick@lemmy.world 14 points 3 weeks ago

Going down?

[–] Diddlydee 13 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

How did you get into my private elevator? SECURITY!

[–] A7thStone@lemmy.world 13 points 3 weeks ago

You don't have the proper PPE for the radiologically controlled area.

[–] GhiLA@sh.itjust.works 13 points 3 weeks ago

"Nice uhh, b-leather we're having, uh."

cry, drop my spaghetti and run out

[–] just_an_average_joe@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Realistically nothing. You gain very little by saying something than you lose not saying anything. The only time people are somewhat open to being talked to, is when they already recognise you a little...

[–] TheGiantKorean@lemmy.world 11 points 3 weeks ago

The modern mind is in complete disarray. Knowledge has stretched itself to the point where neither the world nor our intelligence can find any foot-hold. It is a fact that we are suffering from nihilism.

[–] Simulation6@sopuli.xyz 10 points 3 weeks ago

Tip my fedora and say M'Lady

[–] Hestia@hexbear.net 10 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

sorry, i have a girlfriend already.

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