this post was submitted on 30 Oct 2024
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He wants to hire me as a talent scout when I leave rehab, but is willing to pay for my recovery home once I leave rehab. According to him he's "Dummy rich, an anarchist, and was saved by someone in the same way" in the 90s. Can I get fucked over by accepting this dude's help?

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[–] InternetLefty@hexbear.net 33 points 1 week ago

Anyone offering you anything that's not written down can take it away at any time. It could be a legit offer, but if you rely on it, it puts you in a position of vulnerability. My advice is say sure, and have a back up plan. Trust your gut in all things. Good luck!

[–] Aliveelectricwire@hexbear.net 25 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Honestly my paranoia can be explained by the fact I'm a victim of long term abuse and alcohol withdrawal. I'm just searching for rational opinions bc I am def not qualified to make any rn

[–] booty@hexbear.net 11 points 1 week ago

I'm not any of that and I'd still be paranoid as hell about such an offer. Generally if it seems too good to be true it is.

But I would also accept the offer while assuming that it probably can't work out lol

[–] Awoo@hexbear.net 23 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Do you have a good ass and do they seem sex pest-ey?

This is a serious and I think fair question to ask. Are they into you?

[–] Aliveelectricwire@hexbear.net 6 points 1 week ago

I've had 3 zoom interviews with him and uhhhh my ass and face ain't nothing to write home about. SpongeBob voice IM UGLY AND IM PROUD

[–] dustbunnies@hexbear.net 20 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Can I get fucked over by accepting this dude's help?

well, I've learned the hard way that ~~sometimes~~ often people who are offering to help are hoping to get a little something in return. sometimes it's just the good feeling of helping, sometimes it's just your friendship, but sometimes ... 😐

what does he want from you? how certain can you be that whatever answer(s) he gives are accurate and complete?

it can be a risky situation to put all your eggs into someone else's cushy basket. do you have any local-enough sober/in-recovery friends you could crash with if it turns out he's looking for sexual favors or a virtual slave?

[–] Aliveelectricwire@hexbear.net 25 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I have 3 bands that want to sign with them. 2 of the 3 bands agreed with me to not sign with them if I don't get hired. (They're amazing leftist comrades.) But considering I can't even leave my room without being yelled at, any improvement is a plus. I know he isn't using me for sexual favors, it's been done before to me and isn't triggering any warning signs, I think this person just genuinely sees my talent as a music nerd as an asset, and st worse is still offering a job that can pay for a legit house.

[–] dustbunnies@hexbear.net 23 points 1 week ago (1 children)

it sounds like you've got good instincts and a support system in case things go south at all, in which case, I'm wondering why you're hesitating?!?! this sounds fuckin amazing

[–] Aliveelectricwire@hexbear.net 24 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Because I'm a victim of extreme abuse and any help is scary to me lmao

[–] dustbunnies@hexbear.net 17 points 1 week ago

💔 oh. that makes perfect sense. I'm sorry.

cuddle cuddle cuddle cuddle cuddle cuddle

you deserve help and support just as much as anyone else, and I hope you can find a way to feel safe enough to accept it

[–] Hexboare@hexbear.net 13 points 1 week ago

In addition deserving help and support, you also deserve luck!

Sometimes things are too good to be true and sometimes things are just good.

[–] Sulvor@hexbear.net 11 points 1 week ago

Yeah ignore my first comment. You have leverage in the situation and they probably see you're connected with people they want to connect with.

[–] dustbunnies@hexbear.net 13 points 1 week ago (1 children)

okay, so let's run through what the possible scenarios could be here, so you can figure out how you feel about them and how you would deal with them

everybody help, I won't think of everything

  • he's exactly what he claims to be
  • he's a serial killer and you're in danger
  • he is mostly what he seems but also very lonely and maybe a little weird and has a hard time making friends except in this way
  • he is looking to trap a slave
  • he is running a cult
  • he is part of a cult

as I'm typing them, the third one seems the most likely to me – and I bet this strategy tends to backfire a little, because it can make for an awkward beginning to a friendship when there's so much inequity from the jump. it can be hard to recover from that, but finding a way to make the aid mutual really helps, so if that is the situation, just seeing the act of friendship as a gift you're giving in return might be helpful.

if I had more money, I would be trying to take people in constantly, so I've been more trusting of these kinds of situations than I ought to be and gotten into trouble. but I am that kind of person, and I know there are others, and some of them probably have money. so maybe it's legit.

[–] infuziSporg@hexbear.net 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Something a bit more general and that overlaps several of these is

  • He has a savior complex
[–] dustbunnies@hexbear.net 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

totally missed this obvious one

[–] infuziSporg@hexbear.net 2 points 1 week ago

It overlaps with your points 1, 3, 5, and 6.

[–] Hexboare@hexbear.net 19 points 1 week ago

It doesn't sound like a trap.

Assuming the recovery home costs $10,000, and an average talent scout costs $40,000 a year, it would be reasonable for this person to pay $10k for someone they reckon is 25 percent better than the person they could have hired as a talent scout.

I had a staff member who worked out in the country and we paid for his whole house.

[–] Aliveelectricwire@hexbear.net 17 points 1 week ago

My big ass dream goal is to literally start my own ass record label called "Chapo" in name of our original link. The other dream goal is buying my mom a house and that def comes first.

[–] Utter_Karate@hexbear.net 14 points 1 week ago

Can't speak to if he is being genuine or not, but if you have had bad experiences previously don't fall into the trap of being unable to accept help. Be wary about signing any contracts and try to keep other options open. Best case scenario looks great, so try to mitigate the worst case without falling into the trap of not accepting any help at all, which would continue to hurt you throughout your life.

[–] GaveUp@hexbear.net 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] Aliveelectricwire@hexbear.net 13 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] JoeByeThen@hexbear.net 6 points 1 week ago

Oh shit, oh fuck. Good luck! meow-hug