this post was submitted on 04 Oct 2024
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 144 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I can't be the only one who saw that coming the moment they read the line "found a sugar daddy," right?

I can’t be the only one who saw that coming

I'm surprised you can visualize it so well. I didn't see them coming, though the title did give insight into the plot twist.

[–] nutsack@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago

🇮​​​​​ 🇸​​​​​🇪​​​​​🇪​​​​​N 🇾​​​​​🇴​​​​​🇺​​​​​ 🇨​​​​​🇴​​​​​🇲​​​​​🇮​​​​​🇳​​​​​🇬​​​​​ 🇫​​​​​🇷​​​​​🇴​​​​​🇲​​​​​ 🇦​​​​​ 🇲​​​​​🇮​​​​​🇱​​​​​🇪​​​​​ 🇦​​​​​🇼​​​​​🇦​​​​​🇾​​​​​, 🇸​​​​​🇹​​​​​🇪​​​​​🇻​​​​​🇪​​​​​🇳​​​​​

[–] swag_money@lemmy.world 129 points 1 month ago (1 children)

probably: fake
definitely: gay

[–] crowbar@lemm.ee 20 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] Dragonborn3810@lemmy.world 17 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] Randelung@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] M137@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago

Darude: Sandstorm

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[–] PyroNeurosis@lemmy.blahaj.zone 116 points 1 month ago (11 children)

On the plus side, there's very little chance of birth defects!

[–] SkaveRat@discuss.tchncs.de 59 points 1 month ago

but a little chance of butt defects

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[–] morphballganon@lemmynsfw.com 113 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Gotta include a line about changing your name to reflect your new gay identity or else the Dad would have known it was him

[–] SkaveRat@discuss.tchncs.de 52 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] TriPolarBearz@lemmy.world 25 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Son, I didn't get a chance to play ball with you when you were growing up. Let's make up for lost time.

[–] MrShankles@reddthat.com 2 points 1 month ago

Making up for lost time by pitching and catching, or by playing with 4 balls at once?

That's enough internet for one day.

[–] festnt@sh.itjust.works 23 points 1 month ago

or they just spent 2 years together without saying eachothers names, like normal people do

[–] wesker@lemmy.sdf.org 66 points 1 month ago (2 children)

It's like that movie Oldboy, but gay and less violent. Gayboy.

[–] Chill_Dan@lemmy.world 24 points 1 month ago (1 children)

And the hammering is in the bed.

[–] ZombiFrancis@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 month ago

With more tongue.

[–] Fuck_u_spez_@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 month ago

And more fake.

[–] OmegaLemmy@discuss.online 56 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I'm at a fucking ~~:.|:;~~ for words

[–] Vivendi@lemmy.zip 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] MrShankles@reddthat.com 17 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Like this ~~:.|:;~~

Edit to be more informative

It's :.|:; with a 'strikethrough' through the whole thing.

So — Colon, Period, Vertical Bar, Colon, Semi-Colon and then a 'strikethrough' (idk if it depends on your lemmy app, but mine uses 2 tildes (~) on each side of whatever you're striking through ~~like so~~)

[–] Classy@sh.itjust.works 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] MrShankles@reddthat.com 6 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)
[–] Simulation6@sopuli.xyz 4 points 1 month ago

Words like last names?

[–] therealjcdenton@lemmy.zip 54 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] festnt@sh.itjust.works 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)

but they spent 2 years together without knowing eachother's names

[–] match@pawb.social 5 points 1 month ago

they probably knew each other's fursona names

[–] jballs@sh.itjust.works 7 points 1 month ago

Fake: Anon got a free house, obviously every millennials dream

Gay: Anon fucked their dad

[–] umbrella@lemmy.ml 53 points 1 month ago

not sure if fake, but definetly gay

[–] Anyolduser@lemmynsfw.com 53 points 1 month ago

This is the poor man's Oedipus Rex.

[–] match@pawb.social 52 points 1 month ago

that's so sad i wish they had more time together

[–] Bumblefumble@lemm.ee 46 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] hitmyspot@aussie.zone 40 points 1 month ago

No, its gay. Oedicoc

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[–] bobthened 30 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Anon doesn't realise that towns can have more than one divorced deadbeat gay dad in them.

[–] shasta@lemm.ee 4 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

In this case maybe there was only one

[–] bobthened 2 points 1 month ago

I doubt it.

[–] TheFerrango@lemmings.world 22 points 1 month ago

The secret is his mom also cheated so he wasn’t really his dad. That’s why they never recognised each other

[–] JackFrostNCola@lemmy.world 13 points 1 month ago
[–] NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone 12 points 1 month ago

8yo is super young for his dad to realise he’s gay, so all power to him.

[–] Hadriscus@lemm.ee 2 points 1 month ago

Old boy vibes

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