this post was submitted on 07 Sep 2024
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"Drinking a milkshake with a straw? Only a squishy lib would do such a thing."

More about Strawgate: https://www.usatoday.com/story/opinion/columnist/2024/09/05/tim-walz-milkshake-masculinity-jesse-watters-straw-fox-news/75089097007/

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[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world 80 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I had the read the article before it was clear this was satire because the line between that and reality doesn’t seem to exist anymore.

[–] Omegamanthethird@lemmy.world 14 points 2 months ago (1 children)

The little addition below the title made it clear it was satire. But unfortunately the title could have gone either way.

[–] ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net 4 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

I'm a alpha omega man level 2 super Saiyan get to my level.

[–] sir_pronoun@lemmy.world 11 points 2 months ago

Thank you, I came to the comments just to have that cleared up.. Jfc

[–] RattlerSix@lemmy.world 58 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Alpha males don't drink a milkshake with a straw, they give it their whole mouth, open up their throat and don't forget to work the balls.

[–] baggins@lemmy.ca 17 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Real men boof their milkshakes

[–] EleventhHour@lemmy.world 35 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

And then cry about it while retelling the story to Kamala Harris at a Senate confirmation hearing…

Yeah, you forgot, but Kamala Harris made Brett Kavanaugh cry about drinking beer in his ass, lol

edit: the goodness

[–] modifier@lemmy.ca 8 points 2 months ago

I'm sure he hasn't forgotten.

[–] EmpathicVagrant@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

How did I never hear about this‽

[–] telllos@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago

This also the way they drink bubble tea, poke an opening, then work the hole with their tongue to get the pearls out.

[–] AgaveInMyAss@lemmy.world 50 points 2 months ago (4 children)

Would you say they're grasping at straws now?

[–] weegee90@lemmy.world 17 points 2 months ago

Two straws in fact. At about face level in what one might call a jerking motion....

[–] Ioughttamow@fedia.io 13 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I could take all this wokeness up to here, but this was the straw that broke the camel’s back

[–] BossDj@lemm.ee 7 points 2 months ago

The whole thing is a straw man supported by the spoon lobby

[–] Deadeyegai@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago

Weird, right?

[–] Brunbrun6766@lemmy.world 26 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Don't bring death metal into this. Those bros are more likely listening to pop country

[–] BuckWylde@lemmy.world 12 points 2 months ago

They probably also think that Five Finger Death Punch is death metal.

[–] BossDj@lemm.ee 5 points 2 months ago

No, it's accurate. They role play being hardcore when they're at the gym. It's when they get back in their truck their fantasy self image role play turns to good ol boy when the pop country comes on. Or sometimes 90's country because, in their mind, all country after that is part of that change they hate so much.

Then when they get home, they role play being a big leader man all in charge as they boss around their little children and make them say "yes sir"

[–] z500@startrek.website 25 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Milk comes from female animals. Real men drink bull semen shakes.

[–] theunknownmuncher@lemmy.world 13 points 2 months ago (1 children)

They've got nothing on this guy!! They're literally grasping at straws

[–] fubbernuckin@lemmy.world 9 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I'm guessing this is satire judging by the line "If the massive sugar rush causes your pancreas to explode, all the better. Real men enjoy exploding organs."

[–] RattlerSix@lemmy.world 13 points 2 months ago (1 children)

The article is satire about Jesse Waters' real criticism of Walz using a straw

[–] XTL@sopuli.xyz 1 points 2 months ago

Ahh, Yes concerts were so great.

[–] dwemthy@lemdro.id 10 points 2 months ago

Dumping a bucket of ice cream on my face with some loud music playing sounds fun tbh

[–] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 8 points 2 months ago

And don't forget to fire your AR-15 in the air while doing it.

[–] RampantParanoia2365@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Well, shit, my water bottle for the gym has a lid with a straw attached to it.

[–] ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Check your genitalia because conservatives have labeled you.

[–] RampantParanoia2365@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I've definitely seen some of the bigger dudes with the same type of bottle. Who wants to tell them?

[–] BaldManGoomba@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago

Might want your balls checked if it is a plastic water bottle or straw? Switch to metal and or silicone for less microplastics maybe...

[–] Leviathan@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Hey, leave Death Metal alone. The tough guys are in the Deathcore scene dancing in their hardcore pits.

[–] kahdbrixk@feddit.org 1 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Aren't all the tough guys more like in the pits of gatekeeping hell, regardless of subgenre?

[–] Leviathan@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago

Honestly the gatekeepers are more the super basementy neckbeards.

[–] Tylerdurdon@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I get my role model queues from Fox news. My medical advice? From a game of operation.

[–] affiliate@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago (2 children)

where do you get your fashion advice

[–] Dkarma@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago (2 children)
[–] affiliate@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago
[–] Balthazar@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago

What, he hasn't ever worn a tan suit?

If this is the best they can dig up against him, he must be a pretty awesome guy!

[–] ohellidk@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 months ago

Real men drink poison!

[–] socsa@piefed.social 1 points 2 months ago

When did USA Today become so based?

[–] VirtualOdour@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 months ago

Then why did they cry so much about plastic straws going away?