this post was submitted on 30 Jul 2024
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the_dunk_tank

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It's the dunk tank.

This is where you come to post big-brained hot takes by chuds, libs, or even fellow leftists, and tear them to itty-bitty pieces with precision dunkstrikes.

Rule 1: All posts must include links to the subject matter, and no identifying information should be redacted.

Rule 2: If your source is a reactionary website, please use archive.is instead of linking directly.

Rule 3: No sectarianism.

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Rule 9: if you post ironic rage bait im going to make a personal visit to your house to make sure you never make this mistake again

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[–] half_giraffe@hexbear.net 114 points 3 months ago (4 children)

The followup:

"Sure I made it up, but isn't it scary that the dumbest people on planet earth believed it???"

[–] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 74 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Boomers: Don't believe everything you read online, kiddo grillman

Also Boomers: Hot conservative lady said Satan is going to ascended from the earth and eat a baby live on air tonight at 6 PM! frothingfash

[–] Justice@lemmygrad.ml 38 points 3 months ago

Laura Loomer? Hot?

🐸 "Sorry! Not beautiful!" 🐸

I need a crying frog to properly represent this feeling

[–] miz@hexbear.net 51 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (2 children)

yea I'm double posting this in the thread, but look at how well this lines up:

  • Being told that the Bad Thing they were purportedly upset about wasn’t real only made them more upset. Proof that the 23rd largest corporation in America was not in league with the Devil made them defensive and very, very angry.

from https://redsails.org/false-witnesses/

[–] christian@hexbear.net 19 points 3 months ago

Thanks for sharing, I wasn't sure what to expect when I started reading but this is a great essay.

there’s no such thing as ghosts or vampires or Satanic detergent executives

These are such wise words.

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[–] Philosoraptor@hexbear.net 28 points 3 months ago (1 children)

"It's very telling that people believe things I say."

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[–] AntiOutsideAktion@hexbear.net 92 points 3 months ago (1 children)

They're doing propaganda like it's the DPRK except it's people who live in the same suburbs as them

[–] EmoThugInMyPhase@hexbear.net 35 points 3 months ago

They’re also doing it to each other instead their enemies lol

[–] TrudeauCastroson@hexbear.net 86 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Come out ye black and trans (doctor)

[–] miz@hexbear.net 67 points 3 months ago

Come out ye black and trans
Come out abort me lovely nan
On stage at the DNC with Bernie Saaaaanders!

[–] Cowbee@hexbear.net 67 points 3 months ago (3 children)

Wait, there are people who believe this? How?

[–] miz@hexbear.net 67 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

recommend reading the whole thing, but here's a good pull quote (emphasis mine)

In trying to combat the P&G slander with nothing more than irrefutable facts proving it false, I was operating under a set of false assumptions. Among these:

  • I assumed that the people who claimed to believe that Procter & Gamble supported the Church of Satan really did believe such a thing.
  • I assumed that they were passing on this rumor in good faith— that they were misinforming others only because they had, themselves, been misinformed.
  • I assumed that they would respect, or care about, or at least be willing to consider, the actual facts of the matter.
  • Because the people spreading this rumor claimed to be horrified/angry about its allegations, I assumed that they would be happy/relieved to learn that these allegations were, indisputably, not true.

All of those assumptions proved to be false. All of them. This was at first bewildering, then disappointing, and then, the more I thought about it, appalling— so appalling that I was reluctant to accept that it could really be the case.

But it is the case. Let’s go through that list again. The following are all true of the people spreading the Procter & Gamble rumor:

  • They didn’t really believe it themselves.
  • They were passing it along with the intent of misinforming others. Deliberately.
  • They did not respect, or care about, the actual facts of the matter, except to the extent that they viewed such facts with hostility.
  • Being told that the Bad Thing they were purportedly upset about wasn’t real only made them more upset. Proof that the 23rd largest corporation in America was not in league with the Devil made them defensive and very, very angry.

from https://redsails.org/false-witnesses/

[–] Diuretic_Materialism@hexbear.net 44 points 3 months ago (1 children)

there are people who believe this?

Not really no. They know it's bullshit but it's bullshit that's good for the cause so they do a collective kayfabe for each other to keep the bit going.

[–] TemutheeChallahmet@hexbear.net 43 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (3 children)

That has been the conservative movement since Clinton but nobody wised up to it. Hillary even had a bunch of generals speak at the DNC to "prove" the troops supported her because conservatives were doing this feigned outrage about Dems being anti-troop.

That, and a lot of Americans are aimless so some stupid understimulated suburban dad will hear something from talk radio like "George Clooney mocked American hero Charlton Heston's Alzheimers so we must boycott his movies" then just takes it up as a cause, because then at least they get to perform some sort of crusade participation.

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[–] SacredExcrement@hexbear.net 23 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Yeah I thought this was an obvious bit, but all parties seem sincere in their belief

Imagine owning yourself like this, especially if you don't actually buy it

che-smile

[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 54 points 3 months ago (2 children)

This is like when PT Barnum would take out articles in local newspapers under a false name saying that PT Barnum's traveling sideshow was too amazing for any of it to be more than a fancy parlor trick

"He has dancing whales, which must be some sort of automatons, and his world's oldest woman must just be leather stretched over gears and debtor's bones!"

The doubters would take the articles and run around saying "Look, all these fantastical attractions are fake!" and the people who heard them were like "I want to see these dancing whales"

[–] Dessa@hexbear.net 34 points 3 months ago (2 children)

"I want to see these dancing whales"

Same

[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 28 points 3 months ago (1 children)

If I were a guy back in the early 1900's, yeah

It must have been easy to fool people back then

I mean, it's easy to fool people now, but back then everyone was drinking cocaine and chewing heroine gum

[–] GrouchyGrouse@hexbear.net 17 points 3 months ago

Fuck the leather, I want to see debtor's bones. Sounds metal as fuck.

[–] TemutheeChallahmet@hexbear.net 21 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Do you know of a book on this

[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 17 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I heard it from an episode of The Dollop, episode 291 to be specific

It came out back in 2017, so I legit don't remember what books they mentioned

Pretty sure they mention their sources at the end of the episode though

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[–] kristina@hexbear.net 54 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (6 children)

that black trans doctor better kick the fetus into the audience who then tears it apart so they can keep parts of it as a souvenir

[–] roux@hexbear.net 22 points 3 months ago

If it's not exactly like the baby Jesus scene from the movie Mother!, then I don't want it.

[–] Greenleaf@hexbear.net 18 points 3 months ago

I want them to put the fetus into a t-shirt cannon and fire that thing out into the crowd.

[–] pooh@hexbear.net 16 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)
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[–] LocalOaf@hexbear.net 44 points 3 months ago

sicko-satan and hillary were in the pizza parlor eating babies and I saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me

[–] Wertheimer@hexbear.net 44 points 3 months ago
[–] viva_la_juche@hexbear.net 42 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I tried to take my partner to the live abortion but with these fucking Ticketmaster prices I can’t afford it!!

[–] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 29 points 3 months ago

Cottagecore home backyard projector set up but instead of old movies it's the summer Olympics live abortion show featuring Satan and Beyonce.

[–] TerminalEncounter@hexbear.net 41 points 3 months ago (1 children)

These are the people that say calling them weird is crossing the line lmao

[–] Philosoraptor@hexbear.net 25 points 3 months ago

Yep, not helping them beat that rap at all.

[–] Skeleton_Erisma@hexbear.net 35 points 3 months ago

More like:

I want to see these people get kicked into the mouth of a shark

[–] tactical_trans_karen@hexbear.net 33 points 3 months ago
[–] Beetle_O_Rourke@hexbear.net 32 points 3 months ago

Making up a guy in my head to erm-this-you at

[–] FuckyWucky@hexbear.net 27 points 3 months ago
[–] pooh@hexbear.net 27 points 3 months ago (3 children)

A little off topic, but anyone else notice how chuds adopt fashion styles of non-chuds years too late? Like all these male chuds now look just like the same early 2010’s urban microbrewery enthusiasts that they would have called “soy boys”.

I think in general they tend to adopt things from the people they hate because they are generally a bunch of talentless hacks who have no creativity or drive to try new things socially.

[–] TemutheeChallahmet@hexbear.net 16 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Yeah they need the aesthetic to feel like a welcomed, known quantity before they take it on, that's why you see MAGA rappers rapping like outdated early 2000s lyrical miracle rappers, or some people calling themselves "goth right." The daring to unleash something unprecedented that they speculate will resonate en masse due to having base level empathy and sense-of-vibes is not there for the reactionary brain.

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[–] EmoThugInMyPhase@hexbear.net 23 points 3 months ago

The doctor is also MUSLIM. Possible connected to Hussein Obama??

[–] ChaosMaterialist@hexbear.net 22 points 3 months ago

SCOOP!

🏮🏮🏮

I hear that a white, bonehead Laura Loomer will be performing cringe on a white audience LIVE on Twitter during the DNC Convention in Chigago this August.

[–] Assian_Candor@hexbear.net 20 points 3 months ago

Wow they're fucking stupid lol

[–] iridaniotter@hexbear.net 19 points 3 months ago
[–] dkr567@hexbear.net 18 points 3 months ago

What a bunch of fucking weird group of lunatics.

[–] Frogmanfromlake@hexbear.net 17 points 3 months ago (1 children)

The funny thing is that on paper it would be very easy for the Republican Party to gain voters and continue to get everything they want.

But they always end up going down this route of appealing to a shrinking Evangelical radical base. The anti-SJW movement was the best thing they had in years and turned it into a joke with their “woke” obsession.

[–] PigPoopBallsDotJPG@hexbear.net 16 points 3 months ago (1 children)

The problem with the anti-SJW grift was always that there were like 5 videos of 3 different activists that kept going through re-runs, at the end of the line there wasn't enough fuel for the fire of outrage that it fed upon.

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[–] TillieNeuen@hexbear.net 17 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Indistinguishable from parody. Is it possible that Laura Loomer just doing a very long performance art piece?

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[–] BelieveRevolt@hexbear.net 16 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

DNC Convention

Democratic National Convention Convention? smuglord

But seriously, I hope they go further down the route of calling everything Satanic because they don't realize how uncool tying themselves to the religious fun haters they tried so hard to separate themselves from is making them.

[–] MaxOS@hexbear.net 16 points 3 months ago

new frazzledrip is dropping

[–] Feinsteins_Ghost@hexbear.net 15 points 3 months ago

literal shit for brains

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