this post was submitted on 13 Jul 2024
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chapotraphouse

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Mr. Beast / Hawk Tuah Girl 2024 xi-vote

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[–] comrade_pibb@hexbear.net 74 points 4 months ago (2 children)

dead eyed nihilist who is compulsively driven to generate revenue at all times

not buyable

[–] Llituro@hexbear.net 34 points 4 months ago

Can't be bought if you've sold out to everyone with a pulse /s

[–] goferking0@lemmy.sdf.org 18 points 4 months ago

everyone who wins my games can get stuff, but those who lose have to eat my candy bars

[–] Dr_Gabriel_Aby@hexbear.net 68 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I don’t understand how you look at Clinton, Obama, and Biden and say they are trying to divide the country. Their presidencies were maybe the closest thing to bipartisanship I have ever seen. They ruled as republicans

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[–] LocalOaf@hexbear.net 53 points 4 months ago (1 children)

THIS IS JUST THE STUPID ANDREW YANG BULLSHIT OVER AGAIN AHHHHHH

screm

[–] unmagical@lemmy.ml 44 points 4 months ago (2 children)

In theory conversing with experts on both sides then finding consensus in the middle is a good idea. In practice it assumes that both sides have valid points on all issues (which they don't), never lie (which they do), haven't been bought (which they have), and that the middle is an appropriate response (which it almost never is; the "middle" position between some genocide and no genocide is a little genocide).

[–] Runcible@hexbear.net 34 points 4 months ago

The whole idea relies on there being no right/wrong answers

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[–] HelluvaBottomCarter@hexbear.net 44 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Not left or right, but some kind of third way.

[–] Chapo_is_Red@hexbear.net 25 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] GrouchyGrouse@hexbear.net 10 points 4 months ago

"Maybe if we appoint him Chancellor his supporters will chill out."

[–] Rojo27@hexbear.net 38 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Mr.Beast is going to found the Radical Centrist Party.

[–] propter_hog@hexbear.net 14 points 4 months ago

In this house we drink only Dr. Pepper

[–] ProgAimerGirl@hexbear.net 38 points 4 months ago (3 children)

how about, instead of lowering the age so mrbeast can run for president, lets lower mrbeast into a vat of piranhas

[–] peeonyou@hexbear.net 19 points 4 months ago

You've got my vote!

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[–] infuziSporg@hexbear.net 35 points 4 months ago (1 children)

"I don't believe in anything besides trite platitudes, I treat politics as one-dimensional, I would have partisan advisors but somehow be able to fully resist the influence of money and party politics.

When you are approaching a highway exit, with one turn staying on the highway and one turn going off, my recommendation is to stick to the middle ground."

[–] Evilbunbun@hexbear.net 10 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Is this an Eric Adams quote?

[–] infuziSporg@hexbear.net 8 points 4 months ago

You'd be excused in thinking I didn't just invent it.

[–] came_apart_at_Kmart@hexbear.net 32 points 4 months ago

in deciding if i will vote for Mr. Beast, i will consult experts who support Mr. Beast and experts who do not support Mr. Beast equally and then decide that the issue of Mr. Beast is too contentious and divisive and that he must, to heal the nation, be dropped in the middle of the ocean where nature will be allowed to determine the best course.

[–] kristina@hexbear.net 30 points 4 months ago (1 children)

dont care about things because of the party

Mr beast please explain your view on trans rights popuko-gun

[–] thethirdgracchi@hexbear.net 11 points 4 months ago

Apparently one of his best friends/collaborators is a trans woman and he's very vocally supportive of her, so probably better than most politicians lol

[–] Llituro@hexbear.net 29 points 4 months ago

Hi I'm Jimmy beast, and my only policy is turning a big Fascism dial while looking at the audience

[–] motherofmonsters@hexbear.net 27 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Literally doing the “hm one side wants to kill all immigrants and the other none, 50% it is!”

Except it’ll be a game show to exterminate the undesirables

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[–] MoreLikeHazBeen@hexbear.net 26 points 4 months ago (3 children)

Not the main point but the minimum age is 35. Bro is 26, can he not do math

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[–] Kuori@hexbear.net 25 points 4 months ago (2 children)

there are too many days i pray to be suddenly struck with some of that good-ass 13th century peasant illiteracy

[–] kristina@hexbear.net 14 points 4 months ago (1 children)

have to go to my local Catholic priest for them to read me a book

[–] Kuori@hexbear.net 23 points 4 months ago

clueless "i wonder what today's book will be!"

(it's the bible, again)

i-love-not-thinking "yaaaaay!"

would be a genuine improvement in my life

[–] WIIHAPPYFEW@hexbear.net 24 points 4 months ago

“We have Ross Perot at home”

[–] peeonyou@hexbear.net 21 points 4 months ago

Finally a kid that understands how to make everyone happy by making nobody happy!

[–] TheDoctor@hexbear.net 19 points 4 months ago (1 children)

In 15 years? You only have to be 35 to be president. No way is Mr Beast only 20.

[–] BobDole@hexbear.net 10 points 4 months ago (2 children)
[–] Evilbunbun@hexbear.net 11 points 4 months ago

He probably thinks the min is 40 then lol

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[–] Beaver@hexbear.net 17 points 4 months ago (1 children)

The bird of state needs a left wing, and a right wing to fly jordan-eboy-peterson

[–] FunkyStuff@hexbear.net 17 points 4 months ago (1 children)

(the bird is an f-35. it has crashed in a ditch)

[–] FourteenEyes@hexbear.net 14 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

Also we're gonna choose a bunch of people to wear my mark

And I will appear to sustain a mortal wound but will miraculously survive

At some point the first seal will be broken and the scrolls will be opened and the Horsemen will ride across the land laying waste

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[–] Bremmy@lemmy.ml 14 points 4 months ago

There are experts on the right?

[–] Red_sun_in_the_sky@hexbear.net 14 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

middle ground that's best for america

Beast / hilldawg 2024 ticket. Its 4.5/5.5 time.

[–] FuckyWucky@hexbear.net 13 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)
[–] healthkick@hexbear.net 11 points 4 months ago

Mr beast presidency:

We just gave this filthy 3rd world country in AFRICA a brand new government

Saving 50 students from crushing student debt. We did it.

Doing a press conference using only body language

$100 of lobbying vs $1,000,000 of lobbying

Playing ultimate hide and seek with refugees crossing the border

[–] LeZero@hexbear.net 10 points 4 months ago

How would Hitler have won WW2,

Dont siege Leningrad, just take it

[–] ClimateChangeAnxiety@hexbear.net 9 points 4 months ago

I mean fuck it, it’s better than any of the current alternatives

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