this post was submitted on 14 Jun 2024
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chapotraphouse

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[–] CoolerOpposide@hexbear.net 80 points 3 months ago (2 children)

God the edible is hitting me so hard I saw this post here and was like “holy shit this is so funny I need to post this to Hexbear immediately”

[–] RNAi@hexbear.net 39 points 3 months ago

Many such cases

[–] sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml 29 points 3 months ago (2 children)

My edible is also hitting. What does this mean?

[–] CoolerOpposide@hexbear.net 38 points 3 months ago (2 children)

It means I’m about to eat the fuck out of this biryani and watch one piece

[–] Findom_DeLuise@hexbear.net 23 points 3 months ago

Godspeed, comrade rat-salute

[–] sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml 13 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Im so incredibly jealous, my favorite indian restaurant is closed rn and I cant get any 😔

[–] Nakoichi@hexbear.net 7 points 3 months ago (1 children)

imma go down town and find the mushroom chocolate lady. Yall need to get on my level.

[–] anarchoilluminati@hexbear.net 5 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I thought this was a sexual thing at first.

[–] the_itsb@hexbear.net 4 points 3 months ago (1 children)

you've never "found the mushroom chocolate lady"?

[–] anarchoilluminati@hexbear.net 2 points 3 months ago

A few times, she spit in my mouth once.

Wait, what are we talking about?

[–] AcidSmiley@hexbear.net 52 points 3 months ago (1 children)

This is bait, Germans are annoyingly obsessed with baked goods (or i guess boiled in that case) and ofc you can get bagles here.

[–] dead@hexbear.net 50 points 3 months ago (1 children)

The joke is that bagels were invented by Jewish people from Poland and Germany is Nazis. When I google 'german bagels', every website and reddit post that I see says that bagels are rare in Germany.

[–] TheWurstman@hexbear.net 13 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Ah polish? I always knew them as a Hungarian thing

[–] Barx@hexbear.net 10 points 3 months ago

They originated in that general region from the Jewish populations there living under Euro-imposed apartheid systems. What is currently Poland, Belarus, Czhech Republic, Slovakia, Ukraine, Hungary

[–] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 45 points 3 months ago

Mom said we can't have any, too spicy.

[–] lil_tank@lemmygrad.ml 28 points 3 months ago (16 children)

I don't understand bagels actually. Why put a whole in a sandwich?? It's just worse ergonomics than a regular sandwich! I'm sure it's some capitalist shenanigans to trick people into thinking it's cool and containing more food than it actually does

[–] Rom@hexbear.net 42 points 3 months ago (2 children)

idk but everything bagels with cream cheese are fucking delicious

[–] viva_la_juche@hexbear.net 33 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Come and take it commies

This post made by bagel gang

[–] Antiwork@hexbear.net 8 points 3 months ago

Yes vegan-v cream cheese

[–] DefinitelyNotAPhone@hexbear.net 36 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Bagels are boiled before they're baked, which gives them a chewier texture that toasts really well. It's an entirely different thing to just regular toast or bread.

Source: AYYY I'M WALKIN' HYEER

[–] GalaxyBrain@hexbear.net 14 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Agreed

Souece: AHHHHH! JE MARCHE ICI, CALICE TABERNAK!

[–] Mindfury@hexbear.net 10 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] GalaxyBrain@hexbear.net 11 points 3 months ago

Montreal is a hell of a place. One of my favorite events was drinking in a park and this older lady comes up to us and says 'Ahllo, ave you seen my son? Eeh eez dis tall. Eeh ahs mo-awk. And eeh ees on PCP. Non? Ah, merci! Anarchie!'

[–] TheDoctor@hexbear.net 36 points 3 months ago

Ring shaped bread predates capitalism by at least 300 years. It’s just more efficient to make in certain cases.

[–] RNAi@hexbear.net 36 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

A hole going thru the part that would be the furtherst away from the heat makes the whole thing to cook faster, allowing more production with the same capital and labor and shit, so, yeah

But it would made sense from a comunist planning perspective too, cuz it's more energy and labor efficient

[–] davel@hexbear.net 14 points 3 months ago (1 children)

More quickly and more evenly: you don’t end up with an overcooked outside and undercooked center.

[–] Vncredleader@hexbear.net 6 points 3 months ago

Making it way more efficient. Its funny how when you look into things you find human ingenuity and not just "eh capitalists probably did it for no reason".

[–] iridaniotter@hexbear.net 35 points 3 months ago

Well you know how when you take a bite, cream cheese comes out of the sides and ruins the sandwich? The hole is there so it can escape in even more directions. i-think-that

[–] davel@hexbear.net 27 points 3 months ago

A bagel is not a sandwich and you suck at topology.

[–] emizeko@hexbear.net 23 points 3 months ago

it's so bagel salesmen can string them around their necks before walking to the marketplace

[–] GalaxyBrain@hexbear.net 17 points 3 months ago

It's a thicc bit of dough and the hole is for surface area when baking. Otherwise you'd either get a raw center or burned edges. Also they're not just bread rings, bagels are a different process which involves boiling the dough prior to baking and other stuff depending on the region (Montreal bagels>NY bagels btw). They're not really intended as sandwich material and that's a more recent use for bagels, that being said I fuckinf love a bagel sandwich.

[–] Egon@hexbear.net 16 points 3 months ago

Bagels are boiled, so I assume it has something to do with that

[–] Diuretic_Materialism@hexbear.net 14 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

It makes it cook more evenly and also I think medieval bakes used to transport bread on wooden racks so bread with holes were more of a thing back then cuz you could easily stick them on the pegs. Pretzels and donuts also have holes in them. But I'm not a historian so maybe I'm talking out my ass shrug-outta-hecks

Edit: Some guy on reddit-logo has a more comprehensive explanation.

[–] fox@hexbear.net 13 points 3 months ago

More shapes more fun

[–] Mindfury@hexbear.net 8 points 3 months ago

it's just hard donut that allows you to put a spread on it

[–] tactical_trans_karen@hexbear.net 8 points 3 months ago

I had heard they were made to put them on poles so the kids who all ran around the streets selling them could carry more. I figure a pole of bagels sticking up above the crowd would also kinda self-advertise. Might be bullshit though.

[–] Barx@hexbear.net 4 points 3 months ago

It's fun! You good make the exact same thing as batons but why have a bread baton when you can have a CIRCLE?

[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 23 points 3 months ago

Nothing brings me closer to heaven than a warm cinnamon bagel with a nice strawberry cream cheese

[–] Findom_DeLuise@hexbear.net 16 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Emo Philips bit from 1985

Edit: Apparently he was still using it in his routine in the 2010s: https://youtu.be/xywEDvBTzM0?t=156 | https://invidious.fdn.fr/watch?v=xywEDvBTzM0&t=156

[–] Frogmanfromlake@hexbear.net 14 points 3 months ago (7 children)

Do people here like when they smother lots of cream cheese on? I personally do but know people who get agitated by it.

[–] GalaxyBrain@hexbear.net 15 points 3 months ago

I make my own at home cause I have vegan cream cheese there. The grocery store near me sells it and it's actually a buck cheaper than the dairy stuff. However in my bagel ordering days, it never seemed to be just the right amount. It was either like a tablespoon thick or you could see the bread through it thin. You want like 2mm of thickness.id prefer they go with too much cause I can always scrape it off

[–] Barx@hexbear.net 9 points 3 months ago

Vegan cream cheese yeah. And I warm the bagel in the toaster but don't actually toast it. Turns out great.

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[–] TheWurstman@hexbear.net 11 points 3 months ago

Because they’re Hungarian

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