this post was submitted on 04 Jun 2024
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Mildly Infuriating

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Wow! New feature! Now you can CHOOSE how many paper towels you grab from the roll!

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[–] robolemmy@lemmy.world 199 points 5 months ago (5 children)

Tell me you're young without telling me you're young.

Paper towels, for most of my life (I'm old AF), were as long as they were wide. Square, they were. Bounty originated select-a-size by perforating them twice as frequently, so they were half as long as wide. Others eventually followed suit and now youngsters think that's how it's always been.

[–] Moneo@lemmy.world 60 points 5 months ago (2 children)

To be fair to OP, they really should've stopped advertising this as a feature years ago. It'd be like if sliced bread was still advertised as "Now sliced for your convenience!" or whatever.

[–] snooggums@midwest.social 64 points 5 months ago

They still sell the square cut rolls though. This lets the buyer know it is the narrower cut.

[–] LifeOfChance@lemmy.world 8 points 5 months ago (2 children)

How else am I to tell the difference between a full size and select a size? I buy full size for the garage and select a size for the house they serve two purposes so eliminating the standard size wouldn't be the solution.

[–] MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca 2 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Buy shop cloths my friend.

It's not a fabric product, still paper towels, just they're made for automotive/shop use. I swear by them and they have no "select-a-size" option. They're also thicker and come apart less than normal paper towels.

[–] isVeryLoud@lemmy.ca 4 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

You're talking about the blue stuff on a roll, right?

I have some and they are select-a-size.

[–] MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca 2 points 5 months ago

That's new to me. I don't think I've seen them like that.

Alright.

[–] OneWomanCreamTeam@sh.itjust.works -1 points 5 months ago

How is the larger size better for use in the garage?

[–] ColeSloth@discuss.tchncs.de 11 points 5 months ago

Lol. Yeah. Young, young, OP.

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 9 points 5 months ago (1 children)

And Bounty always claimed to be the most absorbent brand of paper towel, so the move was like saying "you only need half as much of our paper towel compared to other brands."

Not sure how actually absorbent they were; my family always got Brawny.

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world 3 points 5 months ago (3 children)

Burly Paper Towels are the best and the mascot is dreamy.

I’d let him split my wood if you know what I mean.

[–] Alexstarfire@lemmy.world 3 points 5 months ago

I prefer my penis in one piece, thank you very much.

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 3 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I'm pretty sure that's why my mom got Brawny. It was that sexy lumberjack.

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world 4 points 5 months ago

Good thing those paper towels are so absorbent because I could drown a toddler in my panties right now.

[–] son_named_bort@lemmy.world 2 points 5 months ago

I saw a documentary about Burly Paper Towels once. One of their most loyal customers got to meet the mascot Chad Sexington. Turns out he was a loser and I heard he's a boozer.

[–] TechNerdWizard42@lemmy.world 5 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Yup. I remember when we had to tear our own half sheets of paper towel. Kids today have it too soft, and absorbant.

[–] onion@feddit.de 1 points 5 months ago

I did that the other day

[–] altima_neo@lemmy.zip 5 points 5 months ago

Yeah I remember when they started advertising them like that. Back when the towels were about twice as long between perforations.

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 68 points 5 months ago (2 children)

It's not the same as it used to be.

The individual sheets used to be twice as big.

[–] bastion@feddit.nl 27 points 5 months ago

Yeah, kinda weird to see it on mildlyinfuriating.

Still are if you don't buy a select a size roll.

[–] Cornpop@lemmy.world 64 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Oh to be young again. This is fairly new. The old standard size was 2 of these together, a square.

[–] nadiaraven@lemmy.world 24 points 5 months ago (1 children)

And I've seen plenty of the older square sizes still being sold, so it's still necessary to mark the different sizes

[–] ShepherdPie@midwest.social 16 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I'm always shocked when I get the old style as who the hell needs that much paper most of the time?

[–] MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca 1 points 5 months ago

I do. With the select a size version, I almost always pull at least two.

[–] zeppo@lemmy.world 58 points 5 months ago

They’re perforated to half the size that paper towels typically used to be. It’s common now but wasn’t in the past.

[–] hedgehogging_the_bed@lemmy.world 23 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

For reference, they still sell these too: Full Sheets

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world 15 points 5 months ago (3 children)

I want them perforated about every 12.7mm so I can truly select what I need.

[–] aramova@lemmy.world 10 points 5 months ago (1 children)

That's not useful for me when I want a 6.35mm size though. We need more granularity!

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world 6 points 5 months ago (1 children)

more granularity!

Isn't that sand paper?

[–] fogstormberry@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 5 months ago

just wait for the mess to dry and sand it down

[–] usualsuspect191@lemmy.ca 4 points 5 months ago

I want a bag of paper fibres I can sprinkle into the spill

[–] DontTreadOnBigfoot@lemmy.world 4 points 5 months ago

.50cal paper towels

[–] Obituarykidney@lemmy.world 12 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

I've noticed that the sheets that are "select a size" seem to be using this to list a lower per sheet cost.

So if you're trying to compare prices in the supermarket it comes in at half the per unit pricing of normal sized paper towels while being the same size roll or smaller and costing the same or more.

It just feels like they're trying to cheat the system a little rather than trying to create a new product or be more useful.

That's silly. Compare per sq ft, not sheet size. There's no guaranteed sheet size. Same thing with toilet paper.

[–] NataliePortland@lemmy.ca 11 points 5 months ago (4 children)

For reference, this is Brawny paper towels where the sheets are perforated the other direction, allowing you to actually tear a half sheet. This is what “select a size” should mean.

[–] deegeese@sopuli.xyz 55 points 5 months ago (3 children)

Oh sweet summer child, paper towels used to only come in large square sheets.

These smaller “select a size” didn’t become common until around the year 2000.

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[–] radix@lemmy.world 17 points 5 months ago (3 children)

Only 3 options? Does Brawny think it's illegal to grab 3/4 of a sheet?

[–] akilou@sh.itjust.works 8 points 5 months ago

Or 5/4, 6/4, 7/4,...

[–] RattlerSix@lemmy.world 4 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Why only the one half? What if I want the other half?

[–] cazssiew@lemmy.world 5 points 5 months ago (1 children)

No, you must always throw the other half away.

[–] RattlerSix@lemmy.world 3 points 5 months ago

That's how they get ya

[–] treadful@lemmy.zip 1 points 5 months ago

We should really make a law against that.

[–] sik0fewl@lemmy.ca 7 points 5 months ago

This picture clearly demonstrates that the original picture is, in fact, select-a-size since they are 1/2 size instead of full size.

[–] CrayonRosary@lemmy.world 0 points 5 months ago

That's not select-a-size. That's just tiny ass paper towels. Select-a-size towels have no perforations and you cut them with scissors.

[–] Num10ck@lemmy.world 3 points 5 months ago

i saw an ad for toilet paper in a 100 year old magazine, bragging: now with less splinters!

[–] Pulptastic@midwest.social -4 points 5 months ago

F off with that "larger select a size" crap though.

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