this post was submitted on 22 May 2024
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okmatewanker

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No foul language - i.e. French 🤮

Obviously satire, dozy wankers

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fittest bloke in preston (feddit.uk)
submitted 6 months ago by Flax_vert to c/okmatewanker
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[–] flamingos 45 points 6 months ago

oi, you can' just dox yer mum like that

[–] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 14 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I bet he uses Arch.

[–] Flax_vert 4 points 6 months ago

I thought the Arch users were in East Belfast

[–] MrJameGumb@lemmy.world 2 points 6 months ago (3 children)

It must be a Goodboy on his way to an MLP convention! I'm sure his healthy athletic frame is too much for conventional seats... He's sure to have a cache of honey mustard stored under one of his folds, just use that to lube him up and he'll slide right into that seat!

I hope they have plenty of Cheetos and Mountain Dew on that train, if his sugars get too low he might faint!

[–] flamingos 29 points 6 months ago

Please write your fanfiction on a site dedicated to it, especially one I don't use.

[–] Hugh_Jeggs@lemm.ee 15 points 6 months ago

Cheetos and Mountain Dew

Wotsits and Vimto you fackin nonce

[–] maculata@aussie.zone 5 points 6 months ago (6 children)

Hate to tell you but I don’t think they have Cheetos or Mountain Dew in the UK.

[–] Flax_vert 14 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Seems we have a Yank detected. What's the procedure?

[–] maculata@aussie.zone 13 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Ignore it. It’ll either go away or stay and become so enmeshed in British culture that it’s accent will change to hide its origins, and it will truly grow to loath itself, and everything else, like the rest of us.

Source: me, Yank turned Scottish

[–] MrJameGumb@lemmy.world 5 points 6 months ago (2 children)

Oh sorry, how about Prawn Crisps and Irn Bru then?

[–] Hossenfeffer 4 points 6 months ago

Prawn crisps? Christ, you’re just flailing about.

[–] maculata@aussie.zone 3 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Who the fuck eats prawn crisps?!??

[–] MrJameGumb@lemmy.world 5 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

People who are too fat to ride the train?

[–] Flax_vert 2 points 5 months ago

Prawn Cocktail Crisps. Big lad Stephen Nolan's favourite. Lovely.

[–] Tar_alcaran@sh.itjust.works 5 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (2 children)

Pretty sure they have Cheetos at Tesco, right? Definitely not common though

[–] maculata@aussie.zone 4 points 6 months ago

Do they? Been oot abroad for a while. I wouldnae ken.

[–] kingorgg 2 points 6 months ago

We have Cheetos in Heron Foods, not mountain Dew though. Although, I do remember buying some a good few years back...

[–] GoOnASteamTrain@lemmy.ml 4 points 6 months ago (1 children)

We have both... But having experienced migraines from american mountain dew, our idea of it is hampered by pesky things like banned additives.

On the upside I now don't drink the UK edition as it tastes watered down in comparison! :)

Can't vouch for cheetos as it's been a while, but they exist here at least :)

[–] maculata@aussie.zone 5 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I tried Irnbru again the other day. It was either a shitty export version with no flavour, or Barrs has totally fucked up the recipe with ‘improvements’.

[–] NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone 1 points 5 months ago

The latter. No girders.