this post was submitted on 19 May 2024
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] proper@lemmy.world 138 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I stay thin by reading shit like this then vomiting everywhere.

[–] Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world 18 points 5 months ago

This genuinely made my day, thank you

[–] Baggie@lemmy.zip 75 points 5 months ago

It's stupid but sometimes to fight the unhealthy parts of your brain you have to resort to less than optimal strategies. If it works, even just as a stopgap, it's a win.

[–] whoisearth@lemmy.ca 70 points 5 months ago (10 children)

My trick is to portion control and not do something asinine like Keto. We are meant to eat a wide array of things including grains. What we are not meant to eat is processed crap. I'm down 10 pounds this month simply by restricting the amount of crap I eat.

At the end of the day it's calories in < calories out and you lose weight.

[–] PM_Your_Nudes_Please@lemmy.world 29 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Yeah, keto got popular because many people lost a lot of weight doing it. And so they naturally attributed the weight loss to the lack of carbs. But in reality, the diet only works because it actually forces you to watch what you’re eating. When you have to think “does this have carbs or sugar” for every single snack, you suddenly snack a lot less. Because the overwhelming answer of “of course it fucking does, it’s a mass produced snack.” When your only options are “make something yourself instead of eating pre-packaged junk” or “don’t snack” a lot of people will opt to skip the snack.

Basically, keto works because by eliminating carbs you’re also eliminating snacking, and are actually forced to track what you eat. At the end of the day it’s just calories in<calories out.

[–] Couldbealeotard@lemmy.world 11 points 5 months ago (1 children)

All weight loss diet plans are just tricking you into eating less calories. Grapefruits don't have magical weight loss powers, it's just if you go on the grapefruit diet you can't physically bring yourself to eat more than one or two, so you eat less than you normally do.

[–] Wilzax@lemmy.world 8 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

Speak for yourself, I could absolutely eat 5+ grapefruits in one sitting.

I would regret it afterwards, but those massive bitter oranges are among my favorite fruits

[–] SoleInvictus@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Same, I could eat all the grapefruit. I'd continue eating grapefruit even as I destroyed my toilet due to all the grapefruit I've eaten.

[–] rockerface@lemm.ee 4 points 5 months ago

As long as grapefruits in<grapefruits out

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[–] ThirdWorldOrder@lemm.ee 25 points 5 months ago

It is calories in/out but having guardrails is super helpful to a lot of people. Many overweight people got that way because they run pretty loose ships when it comes to diet to begin with. Rules can be helpful. Intermittent fasting of course is pretty popular and followers seem to get results.

Couple years ago I lost a bunch of weight just following “Eat Right for Your Blood Type” which I’m sure is quackery- but it was effective. Felt great too.

[–] telllos@lemmy.world 3 points 5 months ago (1 children)

This is what I've been doing too. I eat less, and I've stopped snacking in the evening. I use to eat 3-4 piece of bread in the morning, a big playe for lunch and sometimes 2 plates at night.

I'm eating 1-2 piece of bread for breakfast. If I eat a big breakfast in the weekend, I just skip lunch.

I eat half a plate in the evening. Works pretty well. I think the more you eat, the more your stomach expects, so by reducing the amount of food, you stomach is full quicker

Now, I absolutely need to learn to eat slowly

[–] RampantParanoia2365@lemmy.world 5 points 5 months ago (3 children)

I actually snack only at night. I keep track of what I eat during the day, made easier by not snacking, then I know how much I can eat later.

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[–] Zehzin@lemmy.world 43 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Anon learns CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy)

[–] midnight_puker@sh.itjust.works 20 points 5 months ago

The other CBT might also be useful in this case.

[–] umbrella@lemmy.ml 4 points 5 months ago (2 children)

wait is that what it really is?

No. It's actually Cock and Ball Torture

[–] pontiffkitchen0@lemmy.world 5 points 5 months ago

Kind of. CBT is (oversimplification incoming) just every time there’s a negative thought, you make a habit of thinking a positive thought, so then your brain starts associating the connection. Basically retraining your brain to naturally go from negative to positive path, and over time your brain gets rewired to do it without consciously doing it.

[–] Zozano@aussie.zone 36 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Or you could roll with the opposite method.

6c331737c7c25d6370ac95175c9deea449b89c854479a697772c0ba62dd742cf_1-1891280669_1

[–] Justas@sh.itjust.works 18 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Last time I did keto, I dreamt of attractive women bathing in chocolate and inviting me to join. Did lose 30 kilos in two months though.

[–] ivanafterall@kbin.social 11 points 5 months ago

I didn't truly understand cravings until I started keto. Those first few weeks as you're getting into ketosis are something else. Suddenly, "I want this very specific snack more than anything else on earth."

[–] neo@lemy.lol 17 points 5 months ago (4 children)

Had to look soijack up:

Soyboy Face, also known as the Soylent Grin, Nu-Male Face, Nu-Male Smile, Soyface and Cuckface, is an internet slang term referring to a facial expression associated with men described as nu-male or Soy Boys who are photographed expressing surprise or excitement with their mouth agape. Online, a variation of Wojak referred to as "Soyjak" is illustrated with the open-mouthed smile.

[–] loaExMachina@sh.itjust.works 10 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

Soyjak linguistic tree

Edit: Here's what the Soyjak looks like:

Soyjak

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[–] Flax_vert 7 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (2 children)
[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 13 points 5 months ago (1 children)

URL’s banned after they spammed all of Lemmy for 3 days.

[–] Flax_vert 4 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

Why did the sharty spam lemmy?

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 5 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Vocally? Looking for membership. Apparently? Looking to be annoying.

[–] Flax_vert 5 points 5 months ago

Imagine if they federated lol

[–] Sanctus@lemmy.world 4 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Umm, the first image on there is someone being decapitated so watch out.

[–] Flax_vert 3 points 5 months ago

Oh dear. Typical 'arty behaviour

[–] lessthanluigi@lemmy.world 3 points 5 months ago

There is a first for everything

[–] Lilith_the_serpent@lemmy.world 11 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I just try to remember to forget to eat.

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[–] NewAgeOldPerson@lemmy.world 10 points 5 months ago

Unfortunately, intermittent fasting hath become life.. I'm not a sweet tooth person. But I love me ramen, rice and such. Rice is life. But... With intermittent, I find it near impossible to go above 1600 cals.

[–] ichbinjasokreativ@lemmy.world 7 points 5 months ago (3 children)

My best friend has lost a lot of fat because he stuck to keto for a few months

[–] TheSlad@sh.itjust.works 10 points 5 months ago (4 children)

I did keto for a few months, years ago. I did lose weight but it also gave me gout...

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[–] gareins@lemm.ee 5 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I do keto about yearly. I actually eat more sweets than usual on keto, only they only contain a mix of stevia, erothritol and maybe some other articicial sweeteners. Having these sweets (chocolade drops, pudings, (x)bery jogurt, vanilla or chocolade ice cream, almond cookies, panacota...) helps with whatever cravings i have. Also i do my best to not be around pizzas.

Also note that most of these you can make in advance and have then ready when needed.

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[–] KuroiKaze@lemmy.world 4 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Keto changed my life don't let the memes dissuade ya

[–] ivanafterall@kbin.social 5 points 5 months ago (2 children)
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[–] VubDapple@lemmy.world 4 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

Anon discovers IFS and turns to the dark side

[–] neo@lemy.lol 8 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (6 children)

IFS?

Edit: you fucking jokers! :D

[–] VubDapple@lemmy.world 7 points 5 months ago

Internal Family Systems

[–] RedditRefugee69@lemmy.world 7 points 5 months ago

Initial flight screening obviously

[–] ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world 6 points 5 months ago

Irritable Fowl Syndrome

[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 6 points 5 months ago

Internal Field Separator

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