I guess the best I'll be able to do is take a half day off work on the day of my funeral.
this post was submitted on 15 Apr 2024
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We should make dying on the clock a trend. Especially in service jobs. If society isn't going to take care of itself, it should at least have to witness it's own failings. If I truly end up unable to retire I want to drop dead in the middle of of a chain store on black friday. My final protest of this profit chasing hell hole. Like I'm a damn mad max charcter 'Witness me!'
At my last job we actually had a guy die of a heart attack right on his forklift. Not a public spectacle, but it made me realize how bad that company actually was. His position was filled by Friday...none wanted to tell the guy his predecessor just died right there on the forklift he's sitting in a few days ago.
Is this a new development?
Walmart has been employing the elderly as door greeters for decades. When I worked there (oh god) 20 years ago, I'd always hang out and bullshit with them. Some were cool AF, some were batshit crazy. Either way, it was entertaining.
Before that, I worked at a restaurant where the staff was an even split between teenage stoners and grandma-aged old ladies. Like, you couldn't write a better odd-couple workplace comedy.
All that is to say that for my entire working life, I've worked with (and continue to work with) people that should have retired already.
Worked also at Walmart over 20 years ago. Most of those old people were retired and only worked at Walmart part time out boredom. Same probably at that restaurant.
We are talking about people who are working at old age because if they didn't they be homeless.
That very well may be true. My sample size is limited to the state I live in, and generational and general poverty have likely had their thumbs on the scale here for ages.
Lucky for me, my retirement plan is to die at my desk.
HR update:
If death of an employee is certain, ensure employee positions their body as shown in figure 1. If positioned correctly, spasms from the deceased can be capitalized on to produce additional value for the company post mortem.