this post was submitted on 06 Apr 2024
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Young fellas; as a not so young fella who some say used to fuck: Don't be a dick while thinking with your dick.
It's that easy. You be you, be whatever you're interested in, and just use your goddamn eye balls to read if the person is uncomfortable. If they are, smile and fuck off king. Keep it going; don't be a dick and watch that aura work and that dick get wet.
But remember, you have to genuinely not be a dick. Be yourself, be assertive or not, there's someone (many someones even) for everyone and never mind the bullshit rules 1 and 2 you self-deluded fucks.
Don't. Be. A. Dick.
You'll be happier, the people around you will be happier, and you will fuck and feel good about it while making others feel good about it. Simple secret.
Don't. Be. A. Dick.
Yeah as a woman who gets plenty of women. Women want to fuck too. If the lady you’re hitting on isn’t reciprocating that’s cool find one who is.
Also your mental and emotional shit being together is way more attractive than it has any right to be. I’m not kidding, I’m moderately attractive but the fact that I can take no for an answer, clean my bathroom, and introspect on my emotions does wonders with the women already attracted to me.
Remember you aren’t gonna turn a no into a yes, but you can turn a yes into a no or a no into a restraining order.
I'm also a not-so-young dude - forgotten generation - and honestly I don't remember guys being like this. At least, not to women's faces. Being rejected sucks and is a hit to your self-image, so there was the occasional after-the-fact, booze-fueled name-calling while among the guys, but to must of us, being rejected was something we were embarrassed about and didn't advertise by sharing.
Our generations - boomers, gen-x - are selfish, greedy, and short sighted. OTOH, from survey of N=1 (my wife) getting this sort of response from men wasn't a concern.
I mean there is also a massive amount of underreporting of sexual violence from that time and if you were born a man then there's a good chance that if you were respectful you may have never been in the room where someone was getting assaulted or harassed. That's not your fault, I'm glad you might not have been one of the shitty people to hurt others, but I'm pretty sure this shit has been happening a long time.
coming from a no-so-old dude who believes in respect and vibing.
Rape is another matter. Rape has been prevelant and underreported since, well, forever; and I doubt the rates of rape have gone down. In fact, since the definition of rape has been increasingly broadened, sexual violence crime rates have almost certainly been increasing.
The meme, and myself, were not talking about rape, or inequality, or being not being able to vote. I was only talking about women today being increasingly afraid to turn down men.
Why would you remember guys being like this if you're not a woman? Obviously you would not experience this situation if you were never in this situation because you're a man. This interaction is going to happen where you don't see them. Just ask some women around you if they've ever been scared by the response of a man they rejected. You'll find that the majority of women have.
sigh
If you look back, I mentioned my highly scientific survey, which consisted my of asking my wife. Whence comes my observation.
My point has been that I'm betting that the age group of the women you ask is significant. It'd be an interesting study.
I'd be interested as I reckon it's cross ages.
Like when the contraceptive pill came in it made it harder for a lot of women to say no to having sex as they couldn't say they were worried about pregnancy. - so even then women needed a tolerated reason to say no to men.
A hit to your self-esteem maybe but you look all the better if you handle it nicely. If only guys understood that concept.
This has a lot of the energy of: "have you tried just not being depressed?"
How so? I never said you weren't supposed to feel bad or that you couldn't. Lick your wounds if you want. Just don't lash out over it.
It will make you a genuinely more likeable person if you don't lash out at someone for rejecting you. No sane person wants to date an individual with a temper like that, especially if you put it on display before the relationship even begins.
I would never defend or say that behavior is justified by hurt feelings. I am saying that just saying "just don't take rejection personally" is in no way a helpful response. To misquote Schoppenhauer, a person can choose how they react, but they can't choose how they feel -- especially when hormones are involved.
I never said anywhere that you shouldn't take the rejection personally though, nor was it implied.
Fair enough. Point.
Let me preface this by saying that I’m old. 
I was out for a long run yesterday. Playing the Hype Running List on Spotify. Enjoying most of the songs/artists being played thwre, eg, RATM, Beastie Boys, even some older stuff.
One song I was a bit meh about was The Boys Are Back In Town by Thin Lizzie. But this time, the lyrics made me stop and have a wtf moment. Here’s what I’m referring to:
And I was like “hold up, are they saying what I think they’re saying?” Like, why would she slap his face? And why would you guys be dismissive of her and cool with Johnny?
Being hot/attractive doesn’t give you license to assault someone. So fuck off with that shit.