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blackn1ght

What's your parenting Achilles Heel? (self.dads)

submitted 8 months ago by Oneeightnine to c/dads

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Example: I'm awful when it comes to the kids waking up throughout the night. It's not so much that I don't deal with it well, cause I do, but more that the prospect of it causing significant anxiety in me.

It's something I'm working on every single day, but still something that gets the better of me at times, especially now I've got a school age kid who's coming home sick every few days.

Where do you feel like you need to improve as a parent?

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[–] blackn1ght 12 points 8 months ago (2 children)

When I come down from work (I work from home) and then I immediately cook tea, my son constantly talks to me about something or asks me a million random questions and I really struggle to pay attention or show any enthusiasm. I end up getting a bit snappy as I need some time to think, or he calls me rude as I don't end up responding.

Then after I end up feeling mega guilty. He's only 6 and he wants to talk to me about something he's interested in or learn something new but I just don't have the headspace to respond.

[–] khannie@lemmy.world 10 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

For what it's worth I'm really honest with mine about needing time to decompress after work and say I'd love to talk with them in a little while if that's ok with them. They always take it well. I switch it up by saying things like "my brain is just very tired after work and I need to rest it for a few minutes" or whatever.

I sometimes stick headphones on as a little visual barrier (even though I'm not listening to anything).

Once it's established that you do actually chat with them after the little decompress it's grand.

Of course sometimes you just need to talk to them if something particularly exciting has happened that day. That's OK too. :)

[–] Oneeightnine 4 points 8 months ago

I'll occasionally sit in my car for ten minutes just to decompress after the drive home from work. Doesn't mean I'm bad, just means I'm setting myself up to be a great dad when I do walk through the door. We all need that time.