this post was submitted on 29 Dec 2023
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Funny: Home of the Haha

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[–] ThePantser@lemmy.world 88 points 11 months ago (4 children)

Look! In the sky! It's a bird, it's a plane! No! It's Superman fucking his cousin!

Really though she probably is the only one who can take his load without it blowing out the top of her skull.

[–] foo@lemmy.ca 52 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (4 children)
[–] skydivekingair@lemmy.world 10 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Ejaculation of semen is entirely involuntary in the human male, and in all other forms of terrestrial life. It would be unreasonable to assume otherwise for a kryptonian

Why exactly would the author jump to this conclusion? First it’s noted that Superman has precise muscle control. He can and has altered his voice using such a technique. Second he says it right there, he’s not terrestrial. Why would he have the same involuntary spasms from orgasm as an earthling? Even if he didn’t have his super muscular control there’s no cannon on how goofy a face kryptonians make when they nut.

It goes on to say the sperm cells would be super powered, but they probably need a steady dose of yellow sunlight before they’re ripping holes in ovaries.

This isn’t even getting into the theory that Superman isn’t super strong, he’s just a very powerful short range telekinetic psychic. Save that one for another time.

[–] deweydecibel@lemmy.world 18 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (3 children)

My friend, that eassy was written in 1969.

Much of what your sighting wasn't cannon yet, and given the internet didn't exist, nor did the kind of nerd culture we have today, it's entirely reasonable for a writer at the time to not be expected to have encyclopedic knowledge of Superman canon. Insofar as there even was true canon given it was the twilight of the Silver Age, when "bonkers" was the name of the game.

Moreover, that eassy is pretty famous for being such a candid, deep dive into such a silly topic but bringing up something most people at the time hadn't considered. This was 1969, published in a mens magazine, by a sci-fi writer, that basically took on meme status. It's pretty obviously not meant to be taken seriously.

[–] rwhitisissle@lemy.lol 10 points 10 months ago

Overly serious people on the internet are unable to contextualize a piece of speculative literature given the time and place in which it was written? On my Lemmy instance? Never...

[–] skydivekingair@lemmy.world 4 points 10 months ago

I know but I wouldn’t be an anonymous nerd if I didn’t respond to it in fashion. 😃

[–] CallumWells@lemmy.ml 1 points 10 months ago
[–] acetanilide@lemmy.world 4 points 10 months ago (2 children)
[–] nnullzz@lemmy.world 6 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] acetanilide@lemmy.world 3 points 10 months ago

I don't know what I expected

[–] poppy@lemm.ee 3 points 10 months ago

It’s no explicit images, just some sort of Superman is Single manifesto lol.

[–] pineapplelover@lemm.ee 2 points 10 months ago

That's enough internet for tonight

[–] Fredselfish@lemmy.world 13 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Wonder woman could handle it.

[–] elbarto777@lemmy.world 10 points 11 months ago

The batmobile too.

[–] slazer2au@lemmy.world 11 points 10 months ago (1 children)

LL did. She and Superman have had kids over the years.

The whole Injustice timeline is based on Superman being tricked into killing Louis and their unborn child.

[–] Statick@programming.dev 43 points 10 months ago (2 children)

LL = Lex Luther and you can't tell me otherwise

[–] Daft_ish@lemmy.world 16 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@lemmy.world 1 points 10 months ago

Genetically, Kon-El is Superman and Luthor's kid.

[–] ShortFuse@lemmy.world 3 points 10 months ago (1 children)

No, it's clearly Lana Lang. Wait a minute...

[–] WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@lemmy.world 1 points 10 months ago

Lori Lemaris. Superman got himself some tail.

[–] wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world 7 points 10 months ago