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John Malkovich's voice and spectacular cadence in your head:
Santa Claus is obviously an absurd myth, as this post and the nau.edu article correctly point out. The only rational explanation is that the Christmas present phenomenon is Odin delivering Yule gifts. Odin and his horse Sleipnir--well-documented as the best of all horses--would not be restricted by the physical laws and friction. Odin's generosity has been misattributed to this portly, cola-guzzling elf for too long and it is time to come to terms with FACTS.
https://brodgar.co.uk/2020/12/14/odin-as-santa-claus-and-other-norse-yule-myths/
Nah, definitely based on Amanita Muscaria and the shamans. Way too many corelations. https://www.themarginalian.org/2022/12/02/mushroom-santa/