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Says someone who apparently has the privelege to not feel unsafe in their own home...
I used to be like you, never thought I'd own a gun, then, when I moved to the big city, I had an apartment across the street from a row of houses.
The houses were all owned by the same person who rented them out and each one had problems. Arguments, fights, drugs, pitbulls running loose, one person in particular we called "the crazy lady across the street."
One day I'm watching a live news broadcast and I'm like "Oh, shit, it's the crazy lady across the street!" Looked out the window, yup, there's the news van.
It turned out, her ex husband is this asshole:
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ward_Weaver_III
So, yeah, I feel better having a gun in the house. Because you can TRY calling 9-1-1 here, but really if you need to defend yourself, you're on your own.
https://www.newsnationnow.com/on-balance-with-leland-vittert/portland-safety-commissioner-asks-residents-not-to-call-911/
I used to live next to a neighbor who tried to kill me twice. I was poor, in a poor neighborhood, with shitty utilities and actively-hostile police. My home has been broken into, there was violence outside of my house, and my neighbor got arrested for meth.
I just don't live in fear, because I'm not a coward.
Acknowledging you live in a dangerous situation and taking steps to improve your chances if something should happen isn't living in fear. Nor is it cowardly.
Buying a gun as a civilian, for the purposes of defense, is inherently an act of fear. That's inarguable.
If you think you'll have a reasonable chance of needing it that isn't fear. It's just being prepared. If you are in a situation where a gun is warranted there really aren't better alternatives.