this post was submitted on 19 Nov 2023
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Jokes

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The procedure is surprisingly fast and is a rousing success, leaving the man's skin far smoother than it had been in years. He stops by a news stand to buy a newspaper when he suddenly decides to ask the vendor "hey, how old do you think I am?"

"Uh... I'm gonna say 40?"

"It's actually my 50th birthday, but that's good to hear!"

With a spring in his step, he heads into the butchers to pick up some sausages for the night's dinner. He decides to ask the butcher "hey, how old do you think I am?"

"Hmm... I'm gonna say... 36, maybe?"

"I'm actually 50, but that's great to hear!"

He's practically bouncing on his feet with joy at how well the operation went as he waits for the bus home. A little old woman walks up next to him and he immediately asks her "hey, how old do you think I am?"

The old woman pauses, squinting her eyes at him. "Well, my eyes aren't what they used to be, so I probably can't tell by your face, but I do have a trick that always works. Do you mind?"

The man allows the old woman to stick her hand down his trousers and have a good old rummage. He's stunned, but too intrigued to stop her. After several minutes of touching, she pulls her hand out and says "You're 50 years old exactly."

"Wha... That's amazing! How did you know?"

"I was behind you at the news stand."

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[โ€“] 0x4E4F@infosec.pub 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Damn I hope some granny does that to me some day ๐Ÿ˜”.

[โ€“] southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Alas, it isn't as fun as you'd think.

I got groped by many a granny during my years as a nurse's assistant. Somehow, while it makes for funny stories, it was not exactly the best feeling thing I've ever experienced.

[โ€“] kambusha@feddit.ch 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'm less than a year away! Free handjobs? Count me in!