this post was submitted on 27 Jan 2025
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Let's be real: it's about control. They want sex on their terms, and paying for it doesn't put them in control. They say things like "genuine human connection," while desperately wanting a traditional, subservient woman that they can use to satisfy their needs.
Well yes. It's about sex and specifically forcing sex.
They're wannabe rapists, in effect.
Suggest they should get a mail order bride then, or stop being such an unlikable cunt by raising their self-respect standards.
In my experience they seem to shut up when you suggest that.
I'd give em the "two wolves inside you" talk - like negativity and positivity. Gotta keep the moral lessons at preteen development levels with these sorts of folks.
What you said is all true, and there's no excusing that level of rottenness, but I do think there's a deeper component to it that they do not acknowledge.
They want to feel good about themselves, which at the core is not unreasonable, but they've built up this whole misogynistic mythology where they need a conventionally attractive woman - mind, body, and soul, in order to feel safe and happy.
But I'm convinced that even if they somehow stumbled into this unlikely relationship they would still be miserable.
I think even darker (as the response to @Glide@lemmy.ca indicates). When I see incel behaviour from a man, I make damned sure that man is always in my sight and at a distance. And I won't accept any drink from him, nor any invitation to go somewhere else, even if it's in the same building.
Yes that's very wise. They've already shown you that they feel they might "deserve" a certain type of affection, so who knows what they feel entitled to.
Other men at these social settings also need to take a more active role in 1) detecting, and 2) deterring, incel adjacent behaviour.