this post was submitted on 13 Jan 2025
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is it me or do men misgender you more than anyone else? it just clicked to me like 5 minutes ago that women almost never misgender me at work but men frequently do. Am I going crazy here or is this just a normal thing?
The more rural and the older the less they misgender me, I'm assuming I just pass to old rural dudes. There are a lot of Hutterites and Mennonites in my area, very traditional and conservative especially with gender norms - apparently I pass quite well with them too (I get asked often if I have children or will have children and if Im married, I always want to tell em I dont have a uterus lol). But a plugged in dude or a "feminist" they'll misgender me all day lmao
Like they know you are trans and do it intentionally?
Iโm more scared of women tbh.
I feel like a lot of times with men there is a clear difference (in a good way) where I am generally shorter and softer, where with women I fear there is a clear difference (in a bad way) where they can tell I am an imposter.
idk if they're doing it intentionally or not, but I do my best and it's usually men who either don't pick up or do and don't gender me right anyway
there are more than a few instances where I can tell I get the very funny look at my nametag, they read my very femme name, and give me a "sir" anyway, but ultimately I can't know for sure with everyone whether they're being oblivious or a dick
Seems like it in my experience too
With men it's usually "hey bro" (ugh) with a nice noticeable tingle of "lol ur gay"
With women it's usually them sometimes defaulting to "uh, they?" which is nice personally but when it's misgendering it's usually a more innocuous being read as a kinda fruity androgynous-ish queer guy in a sweeter way, "sweetheart," "honey," etc
Old ladies that aren't like, maga meemaw fundies seem to love my weird fruity ass for some reason which is really nice tbh, shout out to the nice older waitress at the diner like a week ago
Same for me (transmasc)