this post was submitted on 15 Jan 2025
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I'd argue against giving false hopes.
Learning to love yourself is good. But people should be aware that there's a good chance they'll never find love in their whole lives. That's a reality some people need to prepare to.
It's not the end of the world. No one wants to live without love but it happens even to the best of people. The best someone can do is just learning how to live by themselves and enjoy that kind of life.
If love eventually comes, good luck, but it's not a guarantee. And if someone has been single for a long time (I mean the better part of their adult life) chances are they will just be single for life, or at least without proper love. And people need to be prepare for that, because it's not easy.
The person you're replying to includes friends in the "so too will others [love you]", and I think that may have been a part of their wider point — that putting romantic love on a pedestal is often how we end up blocking ourselves off from love.
I apologise if I have misinterpreted what you are considering when you say "there's a good chance they'll never find love in their whole lives", but this appeared to me like you may not be considering platonic love in making this statement. Being single for life doesn't mean that someone will never find love.
I don't wish to seem like I'm sidestepping the crux of your point though, because I wholly agree that it's difficult to be single in a world that does tend to put romantic love on a pedestal. Even if an individual is able to break themselves out of that toxic mindset, there are many who will make you feel broken for not having, or not wanting a partner. A friend who didn't have family was once in hospital following a severe accident, and she wasn't allowed any visitors, because despite the fact that I was the closest thing to family she had, I was "just a friend". It means that even if you live a life full of love, you will be made to feel like it's not enough, and that sucks.