The Onion

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The Onion

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Man Dies After Secret 4-Year Battle With Gorilla (theonion.com)

submitted 1 week ago by FlyingSquid@lemmy.world to c/theonion@midwest.social

52 comments fedilink hide all child comments

This is one of the best Onion articles ever. Read the whole thing.

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[–] Kitathalla@lemy.lol 2 points 1 week ago (2 children)

The only two I can read are Ted's and Steve's (and Joe's first name?), but the only one I know is Ted. Who are the others?

[–] SwingingTheLamp@midwest.social 2 points 1 week ago

I believe that the first one is (fictional) The Onion publisher T. Herman Zweibel, the second one is hockey hall-of-famer Joe Sakic (who wore jersey number 19), and the 5th one looks like Mary Kay Letourneau (who infamously got pregnant with her 12-year-old student). Number 4, I can't make out.

[–] bane_killgrind@slrpnk.net 1 points 1 week ago

Steve Hannah is the old CEO of the onion, I've been trying to figure out the rest