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It's a funny thing, once the whole "boundaries" thing starts to click it sort of becomes addicting as you slowly realize "oh, I can say no to things I don't like" or "I can ask for the things I wish I had".
Eventually that leads to the secure attachment style (still working on this one myself). But since this began to "click" I have made 3 excellent friends that I don't feel like I need to perform around and it's wild to me.
Are you autistic/neurodivergent by chance? I am, and I read a book called "Unmasking Autism" by Devon Price, PhD and it helped a lot with this for me. Not sure if it would mean anything to people who aren't though.