askchapo

that's a good tactic. I time things sometimes, like transit time (walking, driving, etc) or how long various "processes" associated with getting ready take. I kinda make a game of it socially and I'll text someone I'm meeting with like "knocking on the door in 12 minutes" instead of saying "10" or "15", then I'll check the timestamp when I actually see them to see how close I got.

it's all in service of not having to rush or even feeling rushed under higher stakes circumstances, so I can be more present where I am and mindful in my interactions even surrounding big events. I miss out on a lot when I'm feeling rushed, personally and professionally.

I used to work for a guy who was late to everything. always. as a rule. it was a power play. he was amused that others would be kind of stuck waiting on him to arrive somewhere and he could always spin it as being a casual guy with "a lot" going on. the evidence for this was always, "I have people waiting on me". like he had no agency in creating any of it by telling people when to be somewhere and then not being there.

he had a lot of institutional power, so there was no course correction for him. but those of us in his orbit all had a shorthand for it and would express solidarity. until his throne went away. he was very hurt that no one wanted to invest much in maintaining a social relationship with him after that, though all of us once caught in his bullshit have stayed close with each other even after over a decade with thousands of miles between us.

he grew up rich around other rich people, so he never learned what it was like to be stuck waiting for someone else.