rave_demon

joined 1 year ago
[–] rave_demon@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

capitalism has entered the chat

[–] rave_demon@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You don't need to slave over a stove for 3 hours to get caramelized onion. Here's what you do. After slicing the onion, get the pan up to a medium heat with a splash of oil. Toss in the onions and add a bit of salt to make them sweat. Once they start to dry out, go golden at the edges, and even stick to the pan a bit, add a splash of water. You do have to stir continuously for this method as well, but it takes much less time. Do this process a few times where you add water, cook it until its dry, another splash of water, cook it until it dries out again, etc. Sometimes I'll even alternate in a splash of white wine for fun. You should have beautiful caramelized onions in 30 min with this method.

[–] rave_demon@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago (2 children)

What's this one about?

[–] rave_demon@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Among us and started valley

[–] rave_demon@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I can hip thrust the equivalent of my weight now, which is cool

[–] rave_demon@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

A lot of beliefs about cannabis are outdated and stigmatized, even in the medical community

[–] rave_demon@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

Definitely an American thing. I used to work for BMW, and they would pronounce it "coop" in the US offices. Also, this joke used to KILL at that office.

[–] rave_demon@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

Yes they're somewhat crips because I used honeycrisp and granny Smith apples

 

Hello curly gurls. After a decade of straightening my hair, I am embracing my natural hair texture and returning to the curly life. A lot of things are very new for me.

My question is, how do you put up your hair for things like the gym? I usually brush it (!) into a bun. This will obviously break up the curls and ruin them. But my hair is too heavy and hot to work out without putting it up. What do?

[–] rave_demon@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

They don't need their fingertips as much as you do, surely.

[–] rave_demon@lemmy.world 0 points 1 year ago (2 children)

They have finger guards for them! Don't be afraid, they smell fear. You can't slice all the way down, obviously, but the scraps can be used re: that comment I made earlier

3
submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by rave_demon@lemmy.world to c/jokes@lemmy.world
 

There once was a man from Bulgaria that loved trains. He loved them so much, he got a job as a train conductor. One day, he was driving the train too fast and it caused an accident. One person died. He was taken to court, found guilty, and sentenced to death.

At his execution, the executioner asked him what he would like for his last meal. He said, "One banana, please!" So the executioner gave the man a banana, and he ate it. They put him into the electric chair and the executioner threw the switch. There were lots of sparks and flashes, but the man didn't die! By Bulgarian law, this is considered divine intervention, so he is absolved of all his crimes.

In fact, he was able to return back to his job as a train conductor. However, he didn't learn his lesson, and he was driving the train too fast, and he caused another accident. This time, two people died. He was taken to court, found guilty, and sentenced to death.

At his execution, the executioner asked him what he would like for his last meal. He said, "I'll have two bananas, please!" So the executioner gave the man his bananas, and he ate them. They put him into the electric chair and the executioner threw the switch. Again, there were lots of sparks and flashes, but the man didn't die! Now, as you already know, according to Bulgarian law, this is considered divine intervention, so he is absolved of all his crimes.

So again, he goes back to being a train conductor. And again, he doesn't learn his lesson. He drives the train too fast, and he causes another accident. This time, three people die. He is taken to court, found guilty, and sentenced to death.

At his execution, the executioner asked him what he would like for his last meal. The man said, "I'll have three banana, please!"

But this time, the angry executioner shouts, "NO! You're a MURDERER! I can't let you get away with this!" So he pushes him into the electric chair, and he throws the switch, and there are lots of sparks and flashes, but again the man doesn't die!

And the executioner says, "I don't understand.... I didn't give you the bananas, how are you still alive?"

And the man says, "Oh, it has nothing to do with the bananas. I'm just a bad conductor"

 

From the second hand store.

 

Because if it had 4 doors, it would be a chicken sedan.

[–] rave_demon@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

I'm a PM, and i told this joke in a team meeting, and it SLAYED

[–] rave_demon@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Thank you! I'm not sure why they rotate haha

 

I said maybeeeeeee

 

They refuse to meet with stakeholders

 
 

One is dairy free and one is loaded with cheese

 
 

The jacket is a vintage Chanel windbreaker I thrifted

 

The ravioli have a mushroom and ricotta filling. The pasta dough is fresh. Everything from scratch

 
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