Like I grew up essentially being a homeschooled church kid (who was also abused too) living in a rural rural area, not like a suburb like actual countryside. The homeschooled part is kinda just more that my parents sorta given up on trying after 6th grade. The church kid part was mostly enforced by my parents to try to have a social outlet for me. But at the end of it I just don't know how to talk to people, which has its own set of negative consequences.
It gets worse when any resemblance of community around here is steeped heavily in religion of the evangelical variety. So even if I wanted to I couldn't do anything without being told some nonsense about how everything wrong with me is that I'm a 'lost sheep' that needs to reconnect with god. Including going to get therapy, because I've heard that some of the professionals here is on that BS too.
And the more I'm thinking about it, the more I feel like I'm completely screwed out of having a relatively normal life. Not to mention I found a way to unintentionally self sabotage the first relationship I had.
And this just turned into me rambling about my situation.
LAMs themselves are really good units, but they cost so much BV that you can get the same thing by just taking a bunch of fast hovertanks or a bunch of 7/11/7 mechs. The thing is right now CGL doesn't really want to do anything with LAMs until they go and redo the aerospace rules, which the aerospace rules themselves are really bad, sorta...