The switch emulation scene is already pretty dead.
BountifulEggnog
joined 1 year ago
spoiler self harm/si/just being unhinged
I want to kill myself. It's hopeless. I can't imagine ever being happy. Why fucking live in suffering. My whole life is just suffering and trying to distract myself. That's not good enough. All fucking night I've wanted to rip my leg open. Why do I continually put myself through this shit.sorry
We're coming up on five years of trying to fight this shit. Five years of trying to get better. Of trying to even imagine a happy life. Of understanding what I want and can reach for. And I haven't found anything. My brain is literally just broken. Actual dogshit.
I will never be happy. I am not capable of doing what will make me happy.
Fucking "survival instinct". Such complete bullshit. I know I will never be happy, normal, I will always hate myself and be hated. So literally why can't I bring myself to do it. Do I want to go through another embarrassing, awful five years? Just fucking, putz around hoping I figure my shit out? I don't want to do that.
I can't get better. Why do I have to do it myself. I wish I'd just die in my sleep already.
I hate being a burden. All I do anymore is go from place to place, person to person whing about how I'm in pain. Dump all my sad shit on the nearest poor fucker who has to listen to me. I'm an anchor around everyone's neck.
I'm such shit. I can't do anything. I don't even know what my problem is. Why can't I get even basic shit together.
The kindest thing would literally just be shoot me in my sleep. Life sucks, it's going to keep sucking, my mental issues are going to keep tormenting me forever. This isn't living. Literally what difference does it even make if I'm dead. Not like I'm doing anything with this "gift" of life. Fucking waste. Why am I a wasteful, unappreciative shithead. I should kill myself just for that.
To anyone wondering, yes I napped, yes I felt like this right after, yes it's been fucking hours of this while being unable to sleep. Please make the misery stop.even worse self harm stuff
I want to cut myself so bad. It's been days of urges slowly building. I want to see blood. Feel the rush. Holy shit the rush. Honest to god better then drugs.
Down with the cis
Yea, maybe I should.
I always struggle a lot when I don't get enough sleep, hope you can catch up tonight
I guess we're doing ~~circles~~ enby now (I'm a big breakfast skipper, water only)
spoiler
Oh huh, I thought you were supposed to use warm water when shaving. I'll try that next time. I still need to put shaving cream ~~I'm using conditioner because that's what I have~~ on before actually shaving though, right? So cold water, then conditioner, then the razor? Thank you.
spoiler
I forgot all of that somehow, yea I see what she was saying.
Yea it wouldn't/doesn't really surprise me. Kind of normal for me to try and separate myself from that kind of thing. I can't think of what to say but 
I hope so. Hard to imagine not at least being uncomfortable.
spoiler
No, I haven't tried that. I've also got acne so I'm sure that contributes to it.
For my face I just use an electric razor, I tried using a manual once but it got ruined after the first time. When I tried to use it again it just pulled at my face so bad regardless of how much conditioner I used.
I can't even shave properly :cri:
I'm assuming from the quotes you don't like that term, can I ask why? For context I have avpd, and if nothing else that collection of traits causes me a lot of struggles.