No no no, I'm using they/them pronouns for opsec, I'm not trans or anything!
(I did this too)
Thank you 
It's called "Webfishing"! It's a cozy little game where you can catch fish, chat with others, play instruments, draw with chalk. It's like a little online third space. Made this because I think it's interesting how the developer put this in the game, it seems like it's difficult to discover naturally, and I'm sick out of my mind and can't do much else 
It's $5 on steam if you're interested...
Someone else's 150 word response gets my 800 word reply? Yep, this is ethics class 
My chest may be in pain, and my breath may be short, but that ain't gonna stop me from fishin'
HRT ramblings, theories, and blood test results (Live Reaction)
So I stopped spiro for real this time. Last time I tried I felt noticeably worse within a few days, so I went back on it, figuring my T levels had gotten higher on the lower E dose and I needed the spiro. However, I went to try stopping it again with a significant amount of time before my blood test. After all, I knew it worked, so I wanted to see what the results would look like without it. Here's the thing: things have been improving since I decreased my spiro dose (from 50mg to 25mg) and then stopped it entirely. I had felt like my face was beginning to look more masculine, but some time (I think a single week) has it looking really soft, softer than it ever has. If it wasn't for my facial hair, I would probably look really androgynous, to be honest (
). That takes me to my next point. My facial hair growth is slowing down, significantly, within a week of stopping the spiro. While on spiro, my facial hair would grow in what felt like normally, and I had gotten into a pattern. Shave Monday morning before work, and shave on Friday, also before work. By Wednesday, the hair had usually grown in to a point where I wanted it off, but my face is very sensitive, and it's bad enough shaving twice a week. HOWEVER: I shaved Sunday Morning. It was a bit later, not quite as early, but the hair on my face looks like I've only left it for a day. Huh? How did that happen?
Here's my thought that may have just gotten confirmed by the blood test I received: Spiro, along with E, blocks T production. However, I've also heard that when suppressed by E, the body can convert some T to E. So, having just gotten my results, my E tanked. How this happened with such a small dose decrease, I have no idea. Is the spiro really to blame for this? Probably not. My body works in very confusing ways though, and this test proves it. Last time, my E was at 498 pg/mL. Too high, even for mono-therapy, but they started me off at a pretty low dose (5mg EV injection), so it's weird. I think maybe I tested a bit early last time, and I tried doing it at the end of the week this time to get a better reading, and would you look at that, on the lower dose (4mg EV injection) my E is at 161 pg/mL, which is now too low.
This has transformed from Spiro rants into a full-on confusion crisis about my HRT. Should I have done it in the middle of the week again? Was I wrong to do the test on the day of my injection, before I did the injection? If it has been lower, what does that mean about my experience? How does that affect development, both physically and mentally? There's many more I could probably write and ask myself, but seeing the results, and going through the thought process, I asked myself if I was really trans? I am of course, I literally wrote before that I felt like I was looking more masculine, but my mind is still doing great, other than the excessive strain of a large workload I'm on a roll. I don't have my T levels yet, but maybe HRT was less of a factor in my feelings than I thought it was. I had always given it more attribution for how I was feeling mentally, when maybe I should have given myself more credit.
Either way, I'm scared to see my T results now. Then again, I feel a bit better knowing that the feeling of things slowing down has kind of been validated. That better feeling is then replaced with more anxiety because how did this happen, and how will this impact development further down the line?
EDIT: Doc says this is totally fine 
. I'm going to have to wait for my T results, but idk if I trust that.
Can I be added to this list?
Facts. Used to play a lot of a game called Fantasy Life. I have no idea how many hours I put into that game, but it was a significant part of my childhood.
Thoughts that every cis person surely has, right? ๐