this post was submitted on 28 Mar 2024
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[–] ITypeWithMyDick@lemmy.world 93 points 5 months ago (17 children)

I know the more I make, more people expect me to just pay for everything because 'I make so much'.

Ive had people demand I pay for their vacation (flight and hotel)...just because.

Oh they have a car issue "Can I pay you back later?" (They never pay back)

"Im a little short for groceries, I need food!" (Proceed to buy junk food and high quality produce they never get with their money) (And again Im an ass if I ask to be paid back, cause what I expect them to STARVE!!)

Oh shit, they dont have money for rent, how many times Ive gotten this one. Just 50, 100,150,200,250...and keep slowly creeping up. WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU WONT PAY IT,ILL BE HOMELESS BECAUSE OF YOU!!!

Even had my neighbor demand (not ask, demand!) I pay for their car cause theyre 3 months behind and its about to be repo'd, and itll be MY FAULT! (with them yelling at me on my porch).

I know I had to stop being nice about lending, cause everyone else never wanted to stop 'asking'. So yeah, I cant give an inch or people will just go for the full mile.

[–] Speculater@lemmy.world 79 points 5 months ago (4 children)

I find it to be the opposite, I make enough that I haven't checked my bank account while making a purchase in a long time.

My friends are almost offended when I offer to cover dinners and nights out. I'm not trying to show off with my buddies, I just know $400-500 isn't a lot to me and for them it's a week's pay but I really like hanging out with them.

So I try to compromise in that I'll cover dinner if they cover bowling or something like that.

[–] stoly@lemmy.world 29 points 5 months ago

This is the way: equity.

[–] Vilian@lemmy.ca 24 points 5 months ago (1 children)

your friends are good friends

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[–] HAL_9_TRILLION@lemmy.dbzer0.com 46 points 5 months ago (1 children)

How the hell do these people know how much you make?

Fuck's sake, I don't make $450k but my neighbor doesn't ask me for shit because he has no idea what kind of money I make in the first place.

Either you live in the wrong neighborhood or maybe you need to keep your mouth shut? idfk lol

[–] kakes@sh.itjust.works 34 points 5 months ago (1 children)

All my friends know how much I make, because I believe in pay transparency and all that. None of them ask me for money because they aren't assholes.

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[–] agent_flounder@lemmy.world 31 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

The more I make... Well nothing changes.

We have helped friends out on various occasions to varying degrees.

Nobody demands shit from us let alone asks. Ok well, asking to donate to a school thing maybe.

Idk what kind of weirdos surround you but that sucks. Do you live in a gold plated house in the suburbs or something? Or are the matching Bentleys in the garage tipping them off? :)

[–] sexual_tomato@lemmy.dbzer0.com 13 points 5 months ago (2 children)

I had a Vietnamese coworker who was the first in his family to get an engineering degree as a second generation family member. They absolutely treated him like that. He was making $75k compared to his parent's combined $50k.

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[–] proceduralnightshade@lemmy.ml 24 points 5 months ago

They don't expect you to pay for everything. Everyone who knows people like that also knows that they'll easily get the money they need elsewhere.

It's honestly kinda sad that people like you, who seem to be generally generous and willing to help out, get driven towards this mindset.

I'm pretty sure more than half of the money I give to beggars occasionally will be spent on booze and drugs, but I don't really care. But when I do it I am the one who makes the decision to basically throw away my money. Plus if I lend someone money I consider it gone forever. But I never let someone guilt trip me into lending them money and I will aggressively call anyone out who tries. You seem to have a ton of really shitty people around you. Take care.

[–] HopeOfTheGunblade@kbin.social 10 points 5 months ago (1 children)

When I have had money, I made loans to people, with the knowledge that I might not get paid back, and if I wasn't, well, generally the amounts were little enough that that one time cost of letting someone test themselves on repayment wasn't that high. If it had been a constant thing, like you seem to be having, I don't know that I could have kept that up. At the very least, I've been cutting out a lot of people over time. Sucks that you've been having to deal with that.

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[–] scorpious@lemmy.world 9 points 5 months ago

Sounds like a call to up the quality of peeps in your life?

[–] jkrtn@lemmy.ml 8 points 5 months ago

This is why you can never tell anyone if you receive an inheritance or a lotto win.

[–] BakedGoods@sh.itjust.works 8 points 5 months ago

Sounds like your friends just suck. Where do you live? Maybe it's a culture thing?

[–] umbrella@lemmy.ml 6 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

you are surprisingly good at typing with your dick

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[–] echodot 61 points 5 months ago (1 children)

For some people at least, they get into the habit of being poor and it's a hard habit to break. Just because you have a lot of money doesn't change your mindset.

[–] whoreticulture@lemmy.world 66 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Honestly I think paying for other people's stuff is the mentality of being poor. People without money help each other out because we know that our support network is other people, not our income.

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[–] Kecessa@sh.itjust.works 37 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Got an uncle like that, my father had to go work around where he lives for two weeks so he stayed at his place and he sent him a bill for the difference in his electric bill for that period compared to usual. The man is a retired engineer that used to own his own firm that is a major player around here...

[–] Clent@lemmy.world 26 points 5 months ago

Your choice of friends is a continuous choice.

Thinking your friend group is an encapsulation of society as a whole is your ignorance on display.

[–] PhobosAnomaly 26 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (4 children)

I'm in an industry where pay bands are public and everyone knows who makes what.

The easiest way to find out who's a cheap fuck is to offer up and buy a round of coffee. Nine times out of ten, you'll get a coffee back next time they're swinging by. Happy days.

Even for the one in ten, it's not a deal-breaker. If my round comes round again, then yeah everyone gets offered. Nine times out of ten, you'll get one offered back.

If someone either doesn't collar me privately and say "hey thanks for the coffee but don't expect one back" or "sorry man, I don't feel comfortable doing rounds" then that's absolutely cool, I qint here to judge reasons - but if you take two coffees and offer fuck all, then that's a cheap and easy way of finding out who's not the giving kind. Even if someone was brave enough to say "dude I can't afford a round" then I'd happily say "pipe down, these are on me then".

I don't judge them. I just don't offer a coffee in future.

[–] KevonLooney@lemm.ee 16 points 5 months ago (1 children)

You need to stop buying 9 or 10 rounds of coffee. That's hundreds of dollars. Buy better beans once and make 10 pots instead. Or get an espresso machine if you need to. It's super easy, and more fun.

[–] PhobosAnomaly 14 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Honestly I'd love to have some logical, economic, or entertaining argument to debate you but I don't have one - you're right.

Problem is, we need to make 24/7 coverage of this task and honestly some people are just minging - we've come in to coffee pots with mould on the surface, and as much as I'm willing to become one with nature, that ain't tickling my fancy.

We are however lucky enough to have an indie coffee shop in our local town so at least our pennies are going to a decent pocket, and in fairness the owner is a lovely bloke so I'm quite happy to plan my mortgage payments around him.

Point taken though, I appreciate it 😁

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[–] lingh0e@sh.itjust.works 23 points 5 months ago (6 children)

Baristas are making $20/hr now? Shit, I may have to go back to slinging lattes. I was making a little over minimum when I was working at coffee shops 20 years ago.

[–] GlitterInfection@lemmy.world 34 points 5 months ago (1 children)

In some places $20 is just over minimum wage these days. But you couldn't afford to live in those places on $20/hr.

[–] Etterra@lemmy.world 5 points 5 months ago (6 children)

Wait what? $20 for minimum wage? In what universe? Am I being gaslit? What's going on here?

[–] paholg@lemm.ee 18 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Seattle minimum wage is $19.97 and it goes up every year. Though it's $17.25 for small businesses if you get tips or they pay for medical benefits.

https://www.seattle.gov/laborstandards/ordinances/minimum-wage

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[–] whoreticulture@lemmy.world 11 points 5 months ago (1 children)

$20/hr is not a lot of money when you look at actual expenses

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[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 4 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

California. But only quick-service employees. It's fuckin' weird that it wasn't a global minimum wage. We have two now, basically, depending on the job.

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[–] TopRamenBinLaden@sh.itjust.works 14 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I live in a pretty LCOL area and I feel like 20 dollars an hour is the least you have to make to rent a studio apartment and live on your own. I make about that and barely afford rent on a townhouse with 2 other people. It feels like 20 dollars an hour, nowadays, is somewhat equivalent to 8 dollars an hour, twenty years ago. Its sad, but it doesn't feel like a good wage anymore.

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[–] johannesvanderwhales@lemmy.world 10 points 5 months ago

Denver has a minimum wage of $15/hr now, and you're def not living comfortably on that.

$450k is pretty far from an average salary for a software engineer, too.

[–] charonn0@startrek.website 9 points 5 months ago

With inflation, $20 today is $12 in 2004

[–] Donkter@lemmy.world 5 points 5 months ago

Probably 20$/hr including tips

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[–] Fixbeat@lemmy.ml 17 points 5 months ago (2 children)

450k? How does that happen?

[–] zqwzzle@lemmy.ca 17 points 5 months ago (3 children)

Higher tiers engineering in FAANG.

[–] fauxerious@lemmy.world 26 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Very few software engineers earn those numbers

[–] GissaMittJobb@lemmy.ml 9 points 5 months ago

FAANG + Bay Area + L5 and up is likely to get you there.

That's a very small portion of software engineers, but under these conditions it's no longer exceptional.

[–] umbrella@lemmy.ml 12 points 5 months ago (5 children)

what exactly are they coding to get paid that much?

asking ~~for a friend~~ for me. im asking for me.

[–] GBU_28@lemm.ee 13 points 5 months ago

They probably only code a little bit. They review and guide at that point. Essentially leading the team's coding efforts, ensuring the product is of quality.

[–] thirteene@lemmy.world 9 points 5 months ago (6 children)

Full stack, split discipline, niche solution architects, specialty languages (old, science), principals, founders. It's the minority

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[–] Daxtron2@startrek.website 4 points 5 months ago

Likely very little, they're paid for knowledge of their codebase and higher level stuff. It's cheaper to then pay someone lower level to do the grunt work.

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[–] agent_flounder@lemmy.world 5 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Yeah normal companies don't pay anything like that in Colorado (or if they do wtf am I still doing in cybersec lol). Cali, FAANG for sure.

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[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 10 points 5 months ago (3 children)

It's amazing how much you can spend on small things when you don't make enough to afford rent so you don't have rent to pay.

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[–] CCF_100@sh.itjust.works 10 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I sincerely hope that I never EVER become that stingy about money...

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[–] solbear@slrpnk.net 9 points 5 months ago

A bit silly comparing hourly wage to yearly wage. The barista just needs to work 22500 hours a year to earn the same... that's not even three times the amount of hours in a year.

[–] Schmuppes@lemmy.world 6 points 5 months ago

Nothing wrong with keeping an eye on your spendings, but stinginess is a trait of character I absolutely despise. And I say that as someone who's had little money for most of their adult life.

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