as someone with highly advanced entrepreneurial skills in the marketplace of business administration, i would have simply chosen not to fall out of a box to my death in front my employees. but i applaud his commitment to the lack of a social safety net.
this post was submitted on 29 Jan 2024
201 points (100.0% liked)
news
23635 readers
927 users here now
Welcome to c/news! Please read the Hexbear Code of Conduct and remember... we're all comrades here.
Rules:
-- PLEASE KEEP POST TITLES INFORMATIVE --
-- Overly editorialized titles, particularly if they link to opinion pieces, may get your post removed. --
-- All posts must include a link to their source. Screenshots are fine IF you include the link in the post body. --
-- If you are citing a twitter post as news please include not just the twitter.com in your links but also nitter.net (or another Nitter instance). There is also a Firefox extension that can redirect Twitter links to a Nitter instance: https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/libredirect/ or archive them as you would any other reactionary source using e.g. https://archive.today/ . Twitter screenshots still need to be sourced or they will be removed --
-- Mass tagging comm moderators across multiple posts like a broken markov chain bot will result in a comm ban--
-- Repeated consecutive posting of reactionary sources, fake news, misleading / outdated news, false alarms over ghoul deaths, and/or shitposts will result in a comm ban.--
-- Neglecting to use content warnings or NSFW when dealing with disturbing content will be removed until in compliance. Users who are consecutively reported due to failing to use content warnings or NSFW tags when commenting on or posting disturbing content will result in the user being banned. --
-- Using April 1st as an excuse to post fake headlines, like the resurrection of Kissinger while he is still fortunately dead, will result in the poster being thrown in the gamer gulag and be sentenced to play and beat trashy mobile games like 'Raid: Shadow Legends' in order to be rehabilitated back into general society. --
founded 4 years ago
MODERATORS
As a multi-billionaire with thousands of employees and millions of clients, I am here to tell you that the secret to business success is not found within the classrooms of Harvard or the board rooms of JP Morgan, but within a straight jacket wrapped in a large iron chain being plunged upside down into a pool of ice water with only a close-pin between my teeth.
When you have no safety net literally, as a bit, because you want to make some weird internet communists feel a moment of joy.
"Good work 47".
The lib I made up in my head to argue with; "You can't just mock people for dying in stupid ways you have to remember the human"
Me "Lol his vast unearned wealth literally sent him plummeting in to the earth where he was crushed by his own arrogance an vaniglory looooooooooool"
The home made submarine proved we can indeed mock people for dying in stupid ways
load more comments
(1 replies)
hahahaha imagine falling a mere 4.5 meters and dying I would simply roll to avoid fall damage in to a 2h poke.
I recently hit dad age and omg Asuka needs a supportive home environment and the way her character is treated both in the story and by fans and marketing is disgusting and horrible.
I have no idea of the context of that emote beyond "pathetic" and have no desire to know
load more comments
(3 replies)
Removed his bloated salary from the payroll, man was truly dedicated to profit margin optimization until the very end.
Holy shit imagine how great it would have been to be in the crowd. Have you ever seen a video of one of these things? Imagine the feeling of sitting in the audience and realizing you were going to get to leave early.
get to leave early AND have a good story to tell later
I know one guy in the audience saw this and thought "I should've wished that I wanted to win the lottery instead"
sooooo many people had to pretend to be covering their mouths in horror to hide their smiles.
Something extremely symbolic about the guy who made a billion dollars hy cutting corners, many of them probably in regards to workers protections, dying because a cheap chain snapped on them.
Not quite as good as the submersible but I'll take it.
Hey at least they're trying to innovate. The savings of using a cage versus a submarine goes right to the investors.
He succeeded in making a grand entrance.
And exit.
this is the type of efficiency you can only find with C-Level people
He donated $5 million to establish the Vistex Institute for Executive Education at the school in 2017.
For the crime of contributing to a business school ten thousand thousand deaths will not suffice.
nooo think of all the hungover frat bros who wont have to take a real calculus course because of his generosity.
I found a Google AMP link in your post! I've removed Google's spyware for you! :3
Good bot
When you optimize profits by cutting safety regulations.
critical support for tech ceos in their war against tech ceos
If there's a video out there i would pay to see it
Lmao I thought the cage went down with them but they tumbled out the side.
omg, i love that they show it on loop. watched that bozo fall like 6 times.
omg I did too! A simple safety harness would have saved them! THey could have just clipped in to the cage and they'd be fine! This is 7.634 thousand times funnier now to me, personally, a person who will hold up the entire fucking work site to make someone put on their eyepro.
load more comments
(3 replies)
never thought there would be video of this omg thank you so much 
load more comments
(4 replies)
Gonna add "make a grand entrance" to the ol list of euphemisms.
I would start shitting myself because you wouldn’t be able to convince me I didn’t do that with my mind.
load more comments
(1 replies)
as the strongest CEO Shanjay fought the fraud the king of falling Gravity he began to expand his domain "Zero (Social) Safety Nets" Gravity shrunk back in fear as Shanjay said "stand strong Gravity you are proud" and then he asked Shanjay "are you falling because you are Shanjay or are you Shanjay because you are falling" and Shanjay said "Nah I'd win"
Sorry jjk has not been good for my mental health
load more comments
(3 replies)
lmao
Have a nice trip see you next fall bozo! 
14 feet? I feel like I'd survive that. Did he dive head first or something
the chain broke on one side and the cart wound up sorta slinging them at the ground like a trebuchet, there's a video downthread
Plus concrete is very unforgiving. Especially for things like your skull.
load more comments
(2 replies)
If I remember, the average rate of fall injuries to height off the ground increases at an exponential rate the higher you get. Even falling off a two-foot step stool/ladder has a decent chance of fucking you up.
Yeah it's all probability. Someone survived falling out of an airplane, and yeah a stepstool will kill you like one in a hundred times you fall off it
My money is dude fell and hit his head and was likely on some form of blood thinners, real easy way to quickly die or permanently disable yourself. Even a five foot drop while drinking and with a prescription of statins (meant to reduce bad cholesterol build up but also have impacts on blood clotting) can render someone brain damaged.
good riddance
the Owen Hart school of grand entrances
view more: next ›