this post was submitted on 04 Jan 2024

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And that's how I met your mother (lemmy.zip)

submitted 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) by balderdash9@lemmy.zip to c/whitepeopletwitter@sh.itjust.works

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[–] Wermhatswormhat@lemmy.world 177 points 10 months ago (16 children)

I feel this in my soul. Same way, notice a cute girl a work don’t want to be the creepy guy at the office, see a cute girl working at the movie theatre, no this is her job, she doesn’t need that at work. This is why I’m single 😅

[–] Squirrelsdrivemenuts@lemmy.world 91 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Thank you for not being the annoying guy trying to hit on girls 🙂

[–] effward@lemmy.world 81 points 10 months ago (1 children)

The annoying thing is that the annoying guys are more likely to get a date, while they just go about their day. Not because they are better, or because their methods are good, but purely because they approach more people.

I hate making people feel uncomfortable (no matter their gender), so I always struggled finding "spontaneous" dates, or even dancing with strangers at a club/party.

The only thing that really worked for me was using dating apps, where both parties have implicitly indicated that they are looking for dates in general (because they're on the app) and explicitly indicated that they are interested in each other (by liking their profile, or whatever).

Although I've heard the apps have all gotten worse lately, I wouldn't really know, as I found someone on Tinder years ago, and now we're happily married.

[–] Gonzako@lemmy.world 33 points 10 months ago (2 children)

I'll be honest, as long as you don't make it weird you can approach a lot of people be they're on the job or not. If they're on the job just ask them about the journey so far. Like, they're also human you can treat them as such.

[–] UrPartnerInCrime@sh.itjust.works 32 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Nah. Everyone I'm attracted to either better know it by my silence or well never be together

[–] Gonzako@lemmy.world 14 points 10 months ago

Wow, what a relief, I thought you were into me

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[–] hansl@lemmy.world 35 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Ask once, be clean about it, look like a dork for a few minutes, if she says no, let it go and never mention it again.

The annoying creep is likely to do ask her out twice a week.

Theres no way to ask without looking weird, but the follow up is what distinguishes regular guys from creeps.

[–] andrew_bidlaw@sh.itjust.works 38 points 10 months ago (9 children)

There's no need to even ask them out right away. Just having a casual conversation and making them speak of their interests can warm them to you.

Are they your coworker? Sigh at how needy clients are, tell how you want to have a break, ask what they want to do when they have them. Discuss details.

A cinema worker is harder, but you can play a dummy and ask them if they see the movies screened there and can vouch for some of them or if they can suggest some snack from a bar, to break the ice.

People like talking about themselves. All have hilarious stories to tell. One needs to make them open up and react in a supportive way. Looking up interviewers on youtube can get one a better idea of how it's done than these greesy pick-up artists. Genuinely enjoying a conversation rather than being hungry for a pussy\dick and making it all about yourself is a great start.

[–] Custoslibera@lemmy.world 9 points 10 months ago

Great advice 10/10.

If you go in trying to bed them you’re likely going to crash and burn.

Just try to make them a friend it’s a win win win because if you hit it off then you get a friend, if the attraction is reciprocated you may get relationship, if they aren’t interested in you but see you as a good person they may try to set you up with a friend of theirs that is single.

Can’t lose with this method.

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[–] Chobbes@lemmy.world 31 points 10 months ago (2 children)

To be fair, it’s ideal to not date your coworkers anyway.

[–] OsrsNeedsF2P@lemmy.ml 18 points 10 months ago (4 children)

Who comes up with this stuff. Date whoever you want, YOLO

[–] Chobbes@lemmy.world 27 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Eh. It can kind of cause a lot of problems in the workplace, and not just for the people dating… Especially if somebody is the type to get jealous if you have to work with their partner on something, which is sadly not uncommon. If you’re mature and can deal with it… fine. But, frankly, there’s plenty of fish in the sea and it’s probably better to date outside of work (or at least your team) for everybody.

[–] echodot 10 points 10 months ago

People say stuff like that but the thing is, work is where you spend most of your time. It's where you meet the most people, if you are going to find someone who you want to date it's quite likely it will be the place you spend most of your time.

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 15 points 10 months ago

Youre right, im gonna date your mum

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[–] jubilationtcornpone@sh.itjust.works 9 points 10 months ago

I've seen work relationships go very badly but I've also seen them go very well. I met my wife at work so it worked out great for me.

Best advice I can give is, if you want to date people you work with, make sure you're ok with quitting your job. If things go south it might come to that. Use good judgement. Don't date your boss or one of your subbordinates. That's a great way to get fired out of a canon.

[–] ad_on_is@lemmy.world 31 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Seing some cute girl at the bar "nope, she's probably here just to enjoy her drink"

[–] ADTJ 17 points 10 months ago

See some cute girl waiting in your bed "nope, she probably just wants a nap"

[–] theneverfox@pawb.social 26 points 10 months ago (6 children)

Nope. Ask flat out, don't be weird about it. You get one shot before there's any potential harassment, take it... Then accept the result

That's all there is to it

[–] HerbalGamer@sh.itjust.works 14 points 10 months ago (3 children)

Okay so what if you're from one of the many countries where asking people out on dates isn't really a thing?

[–] echodot 9 points 10 months ago (2 children)

I assume the population in those countries is going down then because I don't understand how else you're supposed to do it?

You just hit them over the head with a rock

[–] HerbalGamer@sh.itjust.works 12 points 10 months ago

I won't pretend to be an expert on the matter since I'm very much alone, but in my experience it's something that happens more organically, through common interests and such. It's more of a process, less of a transaction.

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[–] AFKBRBChocolate@lemmy.world 103 points 10 months ago (4 children)

I sometimes think being an attractive girl must be both the best and the worst thing ever.

[–] PhlubbaDubba@lemm.ee 69 points 10 months ago (3 children)

I believe the phrase I've seen was "an avalanche of not-asked-for dicks"

[–] Drusas@kbin.social 13 points 10 months ago

That seems pretty accurate.

[–] hOrni@lemmy.world 10 points 10 months ago

"Which was the original slogan for Tinder".

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[+] Sekrayray@lemmy.world 98 points 10 months ago (5 children)

[deleted]

[–] idefix@sh.itjust.works 56 points 10 months ago (13 children)

As much as I understand your opinion, I'm really struggling to understand how couples meet outside of apps now. I've been in a long-term monogamous relationship for more than 20 years, I'm completely out of the loop.

[–] lightnsfw@reddthat.com 23 points 10 months ago

I'm single and I don't know either.

[–] Got_Bent@lemmy.world 15 points 10 months ago

I've been single for five years now.

I got rid of social media and then COVID hit.

I honestly don't even know how to socialize anymore let alone date.

Fortunately or unfortunately as the case may be, my relationship history has me so jaded, that I really don't have any desire to date.

If I did desire such a thing, I have no idea how I would go about it. There aren't any more physical community places unless you wanna go get shitfaced in a bar, and I'm long since past those days.

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[–] Phegan@lemmy.world 24 points 10 months ago (2 children)

This is, in fact, a popular opinion, especially by women.

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[–] Halosheep@lemm.ee 20 points 10 months ago (7 children)

On the contrary, I have two real life friend couples who met at the gym and are now married with children.

If consenting adults are meeting one another in a public space, they should be free to approach each other.

[–] Crozekiel@lemmy.zip 11 points 10 months ago

I think the biggest problem is that people go straight to trying to flirt or hit on someone... We've spent too much time on Tinder where it is sending as many one-liner pick-up style openers that people start to think that is a normal way for an interaction out in the world to go. Generally, the majority has forgotten how to talk to people face to face in real life in a normal and appropriate manner.

Also, if they are now married with children, I have to assume they met a few years ago and at least possibly, maybe even likely, it happened before the shit hit the fan like it has now. The dating world has been rapidly changing over the last few years.

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[–] Jax@sh.itjust.works 9 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (18 children)

I don't think it's an unpopular opinion so much as unrealistic one.

Cultivating your body at the gym means you will look attractive at the gym. This is just how the human body is, and the gym is a place for everyone. If you don't like that it's a place for everyone, go outside. There are plenty of things you can do with just your body weight to stay healthy. You can get your own weights, as well. You do not need to destroy your body systematically in order to maximize gains and aesthetic in order to stay healthy. If you decide to do so, you take what comes with it. "It" being gym bros hitting on you during your workout. Simply turn them down and move on.

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[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 89 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (3 children)

D- Demonstrate value by suggesting that you can afford a hospital stay

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[–] skydivekingair@lemmy.world 35 points 10 months ago (6 children)

She says “no” lol

[–] mihnt@lemmy.world 36 points 10 months ago (3 children)

"I have a boyfriend."

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 13 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

"He can drive you. Babe come help this..." looks you up and down "...man."

[–] unreachable@lemmy.world 12 points 10 months ago

"well, so do i. what coincidence."

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[–] wellee@lemmy.world 21 points 10 months ago

Just don't tbh

[–] lseif@sopuli.xyz 15 points 10 months ago (1 children)

ik its a joke, but wouldnt that be more annoying?

[–] corus_kt@lemmy.world 11 points 10 months ago

You gotta drop a weight heavy enough to land in hospital rather than attract disgusted looks from the loud sound it makes... The teary pained face while asking for favors can't be that great a first impression.

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