this post was submitted on 28 Nov 2023
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] ArbitraryValue@sh.itjust.works 134 points 11 months ago

It's like having a real job except you make less money this way.

[–] curiousaur@reddthat.com 67 points 11 months ago (3 children)

First off that's a terrible profit for the work. But this brings up some interesting thoughts that I've pondered before.

Why were the people down to just buy this mystery pizza that showed up at their door? Is it just the convenience? So then why don't taco trucks drive around playing music like ice cream trucks? I feel like folks would be all about that.

[–] prole@sh.itjust.works 21 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

I imagine (this depends on the neighborhood, of course) many of them felt bad and probably at least gave him some money for a tip for making the drive, as it's not the driver's fault if someone fucked up an order.

[–] ericbomb@lemmy.world 11 points 11 months ago (1 children)

So I accidentally paid for pizza betore but I had reasons!

My sister and mom told me they were on the way home from a concert.

10 minutes later door knock. Pizza from our favorite pizza place, and our favorite pizza.

Thought "oh, they ordered pizza so could have dinner when they got home" and paid for pizza. Turns out they had wrong address and it was luck.

Turns out OP could have gotten me.

[–] LUHG_HANI@lemmy.world 8 points 11 months ago

Id love random pizza deliveries. Random pizza and no mess ordering.

[–] PepeLivesMatter@lemmy.today 1 points 11 months ago

It’s not that bad since OP likely isn’t paying any taxes on it.

[–] FunkyMonk@kbin.social 53 points 11 months ago (2 children)

The Gig Enonomy will never collapse, MORE MIDDLE MEN, MORE I SAY.

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 27 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Hire an Uber to drive you to your delivery destination while you're working for DoorDash.

[–] Something_Complex@lemmy.world 8 points 11 months ago

Even better work for both and make the passenger deliver the pizza or buy it from you

[–] Sheeple@lemmy.world 2 points 11 months ago

Isn't that how ubereats was made?

[–] Chakravanti@sh.itjust.works 0 points 11 months ago

It will. Unless you remove ALL top tier "men" the economy WILL collapse but unlike Rome, this time, everyone will die with ZERO reproduction.

[–] Aggravationstation@lemmy.world 43 points 11 months ago (1 children)

So does anon also just have a bunch of pizza boxes ready to go or does he turn up at people's homes with an unboxed and probably by now cold oven pizza?

Yea I often buy loose pizzas from people who knock at my door unsolicited. Mmmhmm, such a treat.

[–] Klear@lemmy.world 17 points 11 months ago (1 children)

He orders a pizza and then just takes that and re-delivers it.

[–] MeDuViNoX@sh.itjust.works 10 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Even a hot & ready is like 5$+tax, no way he's ordering a 4$ delivered pizza.

[–] PepeLivesMatter@lemmy.today 2 points 11 months ago

Perhaps he lives in some 3rd world country and just converted the prices to their dollar equivalent.

[–] DarkMessiah@lemmy.world 26 points 11 months ago (4 children)

I’m… pretty sure this is illegal most places, for health and safety reasons if nothing else…

[–] phorq@lemmy.ml 26 points 11 months ago

Only if it's DiGiorno's, legally it can't be delivery.

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 7 points 11 months ago (1 children)

This unspecified country has been going downhill since they outlawed pizza prostitution turned surprise smegma-caked deepdish delivery services.

[–] prole@sh.itjust.works 3 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Uhhh, beg your pardon?

[–] FrenLivesMatter@lemmy.today 4 points 11 months ago

It's only illegal if someone reports you.

[–] yata@sh.itjust.works 3 points 11 months ago

Lucky it never happened then.

[–] FireTower@lemmy.world 20 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Anon is a sucker for only selling them for $6. He could easily get $7.

[–] JoShmoe@ani.social 5 points 11 months ago

Who sells a fresh pizza for $7?! $8 is the way to go

[–] Kraivo@lemmy.world 18 points 11 months ago

Everyone knows anon is retarded single middle-aged men who is desperate for any sort of social interactions so they just play along cuz it's not hurting anyone