As a dad, I think about this fact so much.
I still feel just like a kid with no clue about everything, but I still have to do stuff, because I'm responsible for my own kids now.
this post was submitted on 08 Jul 2023
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Showerthoughts
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I feel the same way often. And the kids look up to me with the absolute confidence and trust that their dad knows what he's doing and will know what to do when they have trouble. I know that's how it should be so they can be children. But at the same time I know it's just not true and I'm just winging it.
my kids have a pretty good grasp that i'm also just finding my way in the world, and that it's okay.
i feel like, anyone who comes across as though they have it all figured out are likely just unaware that the catalyst that brings it all crashing down is never really THAT far away.
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You need to be a little more generous to yourself, friend. Compared to a kid, you do know what you're doing, and thankfully kid troubles are mostly not a big deal, so you probably will know what to do. From a certain point of view.
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Ngl wing it with confidence and reassurance and when they grow up it'll be even more impressive
Was out with my daughter and her friend, and we found a wallet on the ground. The friend picked it up and immediately handed it to me, and now I'm 'what am I meant to do with it?'. But only in my head, because I'm the grown up who just can deal with everything.
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That’s why I think people shouldn’t have kids until they have at least a couple of hundred years of life experience.
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I'm a mom whose kids are all grown, and I still feel it to this day. 😂
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Oh my god this is so true.
I recently heard “Another Day in Paradise” by Phil Collins, which I hadn’t heard since the 80s when I was a kid. It immediately brought back memories of being at home and Mom playing that song a lot, with just the two of us in the house, after Dad left.
Looking back at those memories through my adult eyes (I have a nearly-photographic memory and can vividly remember even ancient memories as if I’m still there), I can see my mom’s sadness and loneliness.
And then I realize she was my age. She had a little five year old boy. She was alone, unsure what to do. Putting on a smiling face not just for me but for herself too, cleaning the house with that song blasting. Like, I can watch the memories like video and I can see the heartache I couldn’t see back then.
I just want to go back in time, wrap my arms around her, and hold her tight.
The worst thing is growing up and seeing them less and less to the point where once you do end up seeing them, they look WAY older than your mental image of them. Cherish your parents while you have them
My mom will be 89 in a couple of months and it's so hard to watch her get so frail when her mind is still so sharp. I recently started recording her stories, like how she became a Univac programmer in the 60's. I cherish every minute because I hear the clock ticking and it's SO loud and never goes away. I'm going to miss my mom so much. It's like my heart's already breaking under the weight of losing her.
Sounds like you're kind of grieving in advance, which is natural and healthy so long as you channel it into something constructive like you are.
Everyone's parents will leave, yours is the best case scenario.
Your mum was a programmer in the 60s? She must be incredibly in so many ways!
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When you are a grown up you don't realize you are watching your parents die.
I definitely started to see my parents decline in my early 20s. They're still going, but age is coming for them fast.
Even when my mother was in a hospital bed we’d brought into the house, thin like a toothpick, I was still wondering what her odds of survival were. It’s so easy to be in denial. Then one moment she just stopped breathing and that was it.
My daughter had to experience this at 13.
She and her mom didn’t get along at all, and so she’s got that to deal with. She’s a kid so she probably would have done things differently if she could have managed to actually believe it was the end. It wasn’t her fault, her mom was mean, but she still has to carry on with that thought.
Life would be great if it wasn’t for the end being so unpredictable. It really gets to you when you think about it.
I seen a picture of my mom in her 20s when I was about 25 and it just slammed me for like a month. We rarely talk and there isn’t much I can do about it and time just keeps slipping away. I look at my fiancé’s family and they’re up in the morning calling each other right away. Every morning either she calls her mom or her mom calls her. Our children sit down with her and talk to grandma. Her sister calls not long after that.
I know that we should do our best to stay close with the people we love, but personalities are what they are and my people are extreme introverts. We call each other when we need something and we never say no, but that’s about it.
I’m sorry about your mom.
When my grandfather was dying, there was a moment I will never forget. He was a very religious man and raised very religious children. I was the only atheist in the room. We had been told that it was over, there was no hope, it was the end. He had survived heart attacks and cancers, and he believed that he survived those things because god renewed him.
Any way. He was laying there on that bed, surrounded by his children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren.
My aunt was drinking a tea. Out of nowhere he sat up in the bed, took off the oxygen mask, smiled from ear to ear, grabbed her tea and took a drink. He got up on his feet, took another drink, started to walk forward and then fell back on the bed looking like he’d just been completely defeated.
Being religious, my family interpreted this as something divine.
I seen a man who believed that god would save him jump up with a rush of faith only to be knocked down by reality. He believed with all of his heart in that moment that god had “delivered” him. All he had to do was get up and make it so.
He didn’t put the mask back on and took his last breaths shortly after that.
He was a great man, and he died surrounded by almost all of the life he created. I’m glad he got that. I hope I get something like that.
The last thing he ever said to me I couldn’t understand through the mask and I pretended to hear him because of how hard he was struggling to say it. I’ll probably be wishing I knew what that was at the end of my own life if I have time to think about it.
I hope you’re doing well. Take care bud.
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Yeesh that's a dark hard truth I've begun living. All three parents on their own glide slope and it's just one mild crisis after another.
It was really weird for me to have some honest talks with my parents once I was well into adulthood. It took me way too long to realize they are people with their own problems to solve and a life and preferences, a personal history and all that. It's weird how you tend to see your parents differently from other people until they deem you old enough to open up.
My parents died when I was young. Seeing other people's adult relationships with their parents is so foreign to me. My parents are frozen in time in my memories, and I can't imagine what their lives were really like or what kind of People they were.
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I always thought the universe did a nasty by making the ideal breeding age for humans to be when it really is one of the worst times mentally/emotionally. 20 or so yrs later when more experience (and hopefully wisdom) has been gained, the eggs are shrivelling and the bullets are misfiring.
This makes me sad. I just realized that I could be part of it but I spent most time away drinking, partying or playing vidya, and not caring
If you really feel like getting sentimental, check out this Wait But Why, specifically the “Relationships” section. There’s also this awesome Kurzgesagt video which was inspired by it.
Don’t watch that video if you have to focus on something else in the next hour. That shit fucked me up.
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Please don't just start posting the top 100 shower thoughts from reddit.
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It was weird for me when I was finally older than my parents when they had me, and I was still a barely functioning human being. Props to you, mom and dad. You did the best you could and I appreciate that you brought me into this world (most days).
It’s hitting me kind of hard watching my folks in their mid-60s. Their health is starting to slip a little bit in small but noticeable ways. I never really saw it until recently
I just spent the last 2 hours before bed playing Minecraft with my 7 and 5 year old and I ate chicken nuggets for dinner... I may never grow up....
Mate, that sounds like an awesome night. I'd call that a win!
So is this community just going through Reddit and verbatim reposting old threads?
This place needs content, can't have your cake and eat it too. Just unfollow the reddit sub if you don't want to see it.
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Just wait until the bots get here, hoo boy.
Followed by ad companies making shower thoughts about their products.
Followed by Propaganda accounts having shower thoughts not about Tiannamen Square.
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Reddit front page was also a bunch of old Reddit threads/memes getting reposted. Feels just like home.
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This one hits home. One day you just start seeing your parent/guardian as a frail old person who needs your assistance and love (obvs if it was a positive relationship). It makes me feel important but it also scare me knowing we’re reaching the end. I know, no one has life guaranteed but you know, growing older just pushes you towards that end anyway.
I hit me hard when i did the math and realized how old my grandparents were when I was a kid.
Middle aged man baby with a lovely wife with aspirations of having a child here reporting in. Not having read any comments.. this hits hard and goddamn you OP 😖
As a newish parent, this resonates with me. I'm flying by the seat of my fuckin pants over here.
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Because society and our parents themselves gaslight us into thinking they're perfect. It kind of annoys me that not seeing one's parents as flawed human beings is treated as a failure of the child. I knew my parents made some bad decisions. It wasn't my idea to give them absolute power over every aspect of my life.Yeah, they're flawed human beings like me, but I'm the one who suffered because they wouldn't admit to their flaws and reconsider their decisions. It wasn't me who couldn't tell they weren't perfect.
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when we had our first child, we are borderline bankrupt , our bank account has only two digit numbers, we are out of work, relying on family to provide us food. Eleven years later with lots of hard work we have bought our first home. I am forever thankful to the people who helped us get us through
And when you are an adult you could still see the kid side in you parents.
Yeah seriously. If you are in your 20s now, you just have no idea. As you get older you realize how accurate this statement is. My parents are getting really old and it's crazy to think that I am there age now.
Brilliant! I sure was child when I was raising mine but I really didn’t think of my own parents like. I have to mull this over
… and now I’m kind of sad.
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