I can picture the scene: Hamas all hanging out at an arms dump next to a primary school, all ready to commit another two or three massacres, as promised, but then they hear: shocked conversations run through the camp. Phones buzz. They begin unloading their weapons, decommissioning their howitzers. Someone arrives late. What's happened? He asks, awestruck. They tell him: the leader of the British Labour party. They've called for a ceasefire.
Meanwhile, in Tel Aviv, Netanyahu looks up from a map of refugee camps in Gaza. His secretary is back again. He frowns. 'This better be good', he growls. But then, unexpectedly, even to himself, he softens as he sees the look on his secretary's face. 'What is it?'
'Prime Minister', she says, 'two labour councils called for Keir Starmer to resign even though he's just won two by-elections and he's twenty points ahead in the polls—'
'Any other leader would be,' Netanyahu interjects. 'But wait... a LABOUR council?!'
'No, sir: two Labour councils. So of course, he resigned and called for a ceasefire.'
'By gosh, we'd best cease fire in that case! Call off the attack immediately, there may still be time!'