"It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not a weakness. That is life."
Jean-Luc Picard
this post was submitted on 05 Jul 2023
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βA lie of omission is still a lie!!β
- Jean Luc Picard berating Wesley and also me, angry at my cats when I ask them if they knocked over the bag of treats and ate all the treats, and they refuse to answer me
There. Are. FOUR LIGHTS!! Also Jean Luc. Anytime I'm telling my SO there are 4 of something. This is probably why we can't keep friends.
βThe line must be drawn here. This far, no farther!β
Also Jean-Luc Picard
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No, just endless Simpsons references that fall on deaf ears.
You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is...never try.
Oh, don't worry. Their idea of wit is nothing more than an incisive observation humorously phrased and delivered with impeccable timing.
Youβll have to speak up, Iβm wearing a towel.
punch to stomach
That's for trying to take credit for other people's work!
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Me to a Chinese teacher called Nick: 'Hello everybody! Hi Doctor Nick!'
*Confused face
I'm good for like the first 10 seasons, which are the best 10 seasons. I grew up on it and rewatched a lot of them as an adult. It's funnier as an adult.
Yeah seasons 3 through 8 were the Conan O'Brien years. That's the golden era.
But there are excellent episodes outside of that. I personally think "SE12 EP18 - Trilogy of Errors" is a top 5 episode. It's the one where marge cuts off homer's thumb, Milhouse finds fireworks in a cave and Lisa builds a ~~party~~ grammar robot. I haven't seen enough of seasons beyond like 20 or so to comment on them, but Ive heard they've actually been hitting a solid stride since the pandemic.
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Aziz light!
(Fifth Element)
I use this one a lot. Also, I've been known to say "mool-tee-pass" when handing over my ID.
What a banger of a movie
Even as late as last year, I walked into a dark room, half shouted "Aziz!" and someone turned on a light.
He later claimed to have never heard of the movie.
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"Kick his ass, Sea Bass!"
What's the soup de jour?
It's the soup of the day
Mmm sounds good. I'll have that.
ITT, people giving quotes but not saying from what movie
They asked for the quote, not the movie. :-D
What movie is this from?
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These are my go to quotes from Snatch and The Big Lebowski that I use whenever the occasion arises. Not everyone gets the reference. I also refer to my anxiety meds as "anti anxiety disco biscuits." I got that one from Shameless - my doctor got a kick out of that.
"What's happening with them sausages, Charlie?"
"In the quiet words of the Virgin Mary... come again?"
"D'ya like dags?"
"You're out of your element!"
"This aggression will not stand, man."
"Yeah, well, you know, that's just, like, your opinion, man"
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I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve
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"why do we fall? ... So we can learn to pick ourselves up again"
People don't get THAT reference? That's a pretty popular movie and a line that was pretty key in the movie AND repeated multiple times.
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Whenever someone says anything remotely close to "you can imagine what happens next" or "you can guess where this is going" I say:
"He fixes the cable?"
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There are just so many quotable lines from Kung Pow
"That's a lot of nuts!"
"You go that way, I'll go home."
"We trained him wrong as a joke"
"If you got an ass I'll kick it!"
"My nipples look like Milk Duds!"
"I'm a man too, you know. I go peepee standing up!"
"I rock and roll, all day long, sweet Susie!"
"Leap that wall, if you're so great!"
"I'm a nice man with happy feelings all the time!"
"I've got some yellow liquid for your popcorn, and it's non-dairy!"
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Not from a movie, but there's a line from The Office that really stuck with me:
"Not everything's a lesson, Ryan. Sometimes, you just fail."
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"boil 'em, mash 'em, stick them in a stew"
Its dumb, but whenever someone mentions peaches I always hit them with "I could eat peaches for hours". An obscure line from Face Off but for whatever reason it's stuck in my head over all these years. No one ever gets the reference.
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"I'm bad, and that's good. I will never be good, and that's not bad. There's no one I'd rather be than me"
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Im in fucking Austria. Illiterate farmers the lot of them here. Nobody has ever seen a movie in English or any other language than German.
There is nothing I can quote that they would recognise.
So alone.
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Worrying is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do but doesnβt get you anywhere. -Van Wilder
I love to say, βHello there!β Whether in game (on an mmorpg) or in person at a party and hold my breath, waiting in anticipation to see if anyone gets it.
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"Some motherfuckers are always trying to ice-skate uphill."
- Wesley Snipes as 'Blade' in Blade
"Your mother sucks ***** in hell!"
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