Played Nethack for many years but switched to Crawl eventually. Lately I've been playing Brogue too. Never ascended in any of them but that doesn't keep me from enjoying them.
Must have: HJKL navigation (including diagonal). Big plus: terminal mode. Not a fan of tiles but I've grown to like Brogue's hybrid approach. I think I am ok with it because it's done so tastefully.
I've gotten spoiled by auto-explore and other travel aids in Crawl and Brogue, hard to go back to Nethack now. I am sure there are some variants that have it, I will look around at some point.
For a while I played Nethack using an Emacs interface, that was pretty neat but it hasn't kept up with later versions.
A few communities I am finding on https://browse.feddit.de/:
https://lemmy.world/c/roguelikedev
https://lemmy.sdf.org/c/nethack
https://lemmy.world/c/crawl
https://lemmy.world/c/dcss