The Onion

Following an attack in which Hamas killed more than 1,200 Israelis and took an estimated 199 hostage, Israel has retaliated by killing thousands of Palestinians; cutting off water, fuel, and electricity; and ordering over 1.1 million citizens to evacuate from North Gaza. Amid the violence, death, and countless violations of the Geneva conventions, The Onion asked Americans how they are ignoring the conflict between Israel and Hamas, and this is what they said.