this post was submitted on 21 Sep 2023
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Programmer Humor

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[–] mathemachristian@lemm.ee 257 points 1 year ago (5 children)

I already hate people who send voice messages in a world where dictation software exists. I hate whoever even thought of joking about this even more.

[–] maniel@lemmy.ml 99 points 1 year ago (2 children)

But dictation software would omit crucial parts like ummms, coughing etc

[–] gravitas_deficiency@sh.itjust.works 31 points 1 year ago (5 children)

Dude you’re not thinking about it the right way. We can define a new multi byte character set to help define mood (both speaker and listener), intention, irony, sarcasm, sincerity, bodily functions, and so on. This is a solvable problem.

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[–] LostXOR@kbin.social 18 points 1 year ago

"crucial parts"

[–] lobut@lemmy.ca 21 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

I have literally given up friendships from people that wouldn't stop sending me voice messages.

I accept it from family, kids, the elderly and such. I just can't believe people want me to turn off my music and slowly listen to your shitty voice when I can easily multitask.

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[–] Olgratin_Magmatoe@startrek.website 19 points 1 year ago (3 children)

The dictation software we have is pretty shitty though. It almost always needs proof-read, or re-dictated several times to get it right. At that point you may as well just send an audio clip.

Until the day that dictation software gets it 100% correct, it's not going to be worth my time.

For now, the human on the other end will always have an easier time understand an audio clip than a machine, because human minds are more capable of using context and getting past regional accents.

[–] TheFriendlyDickhead@lemm.ee 25 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Most of the times I get a voice message it could be written in two sentences, but they still decide to make it a two minute voice message. Just a lot of useless stuff added for free

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[–] ______@lemm.ee 129 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] Finite@lemmy.world 24 points 1 year ago (2 children)

But all the extroverted programmers will love it

[–] ActuallyRuben@actuallyruben.nl 45 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] SpeakinTelnet@sh.itjust.works 21 points 1 year ago

Except those who convinced the boss that working on-site if for the greater good. Fuck you John, we were happy.

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[–] Malix@sopuli.xyz 99 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (6 children)

but what about programmers with problems hearing? An alternative of webcam video with sign language, pantomime and subtitles is needed!

edit: OOH! Use AI to generate the sign language videos. Could be wild, considering how good AI is at drawing hands.

[–] Haus@kbin.social 23 points 1 year ago (1 children)
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[–] lord_ryvan@ttrpg.network 17 points 1 year ago (3 children)

As a severe hearing impaired developer,

Use AI to generate the sign language videos

hurt me in my fucking soul.

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[–] catherine_fish@lemm.ee 88 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Imagine spending HOURS listening your colleagues comments... I quit.

[–] whoisearth@lemmy.ca 22 points 1 year ago (2 children)

You know someone on the team (probably me) that is gonna pontificate TF out of the comment too and you're gonna get a 10 min diatribe on a 5 line function lol

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[–] snowraven@sh.itjust.works 75 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Right all we are missing now is videos in comments.

[–] dingleberry@discuss.tchncs.de 36 points 1 year ago

This interface is brought to you by World of Tanks!

[–] AngryClosetMonkey@feddit.ch 23 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Let's turn github into Instagram. Every snippet of code has to be attached to a picture or video...

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[–] tetrahedron@programming.dev 72 points 1 year ago

I am deaf. i already struggle with keeping up with subtitles on tutorial videos of some obscure stuff that has little to no docs. Kindly return this idea to a void function instead and try not to catch the erroneous thread with these satanic proposals.

[–] Luftruessel@lemmy.world 71 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Looking at how good textual documentation works, it would probably be a 3s long note reading out the method name

[–] UpperBroccoli@feddit.de 38 points 1 year ago

Oh hahaha nooooo, it would be 15 seconds, and it would start with a sigh and deep, troubled breathing noises, a finger tapping the mic and someone saying "is this thing on" before the entirely useless comment even starts.

[–] fluxion@lemmy.world 18 points 1 year ago

Obviously they should be using syntactically correct JavaDoc format here so the voice messages can be converted to HTML

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[–] OsrsNeedsF2P@lemmy.ml 70 points 1 year ago

I would enable this in my project so I can ban any contributor who submits an MR with it

[–] cupcakezealot@lemmy.blahaj.zone 60 points 1 year ago (1 children)

All my comments would just be Rick Astley

[–] Rozauhtuno@lemmy.blahaj.zone 35 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Never gonna let = MyVariable down

[–] dukk@programming.dev 26 points 1 year ago

Never gonna MyVariable.run() around

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[–] AVincentInSpace@pawb.social 57 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Ah yes, source code files that aren't plain text and can only be opened by certain editors, exactly what the software industry needs

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[–] kevincox@lemmy.ml 56 points 1 year ago

The rant comment will be forever changed.

And dare I say improved.

[–] lauha@lemmy.one 55 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

In reality, an editor could have speech-to-text and it would transcribe the spoken comment into a comment with some tag to indicate it was a spoken comment. Then when an editor encounters such a comment, it would read it out using text-to-speech. For example

// transcript: Holy fuck what is wrong with this stupid code‽ for fucks sake! *inaudible* I've spent hours on this. I'm going to... nevermind it was a semicolon. Undo comment. Remove comment. Cancel comment.
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[–] UniDestroyer@lemmy.dbzer0.com 44 points 1 year ago

You are too dangerous to be kept alive.

[–] Venus@hexbear.net 42 points 1 year ago

If I ever encountered a voice comment in code I would immediately track that motherfucker down and do terrible things to them

[–] bort@feddit.de 37 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

why use a resource folder for it, when you can embed a base64 encoding directly into the source file?

[–] interdimensionalmeme@lemmy.ml 19 points 1 year ago

Yes, add this and images and svg to the markdown standard

[–] Aurenkin@sh.itjust.works 35 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Fantastic idea but I don't think it goes far enough. Why stop at comments? I want to be able to write whole functions and classes like that!

[–] rothaine@lemm.ee 34 points 1 year ago

ffmpeg is now a dependency of gcc

[–] HiddenLayer5@lemmy.ml 17 points 1 year ago

We should make it like Star Trek where you can create entire holodeck programs with just voice commands.

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[–] maniel@lemmy.ml 34 points 1 year ago

I also like when people respond to my texts with voice memos

[–] dreugeworst@lemmy.ml 34 points 1 year ago

Yes please, I would love not being able to scan comments to see if they are relevant to what I'm trying to do

[–] Cryan24@lemmy.world 33 points 1 year ago

If this existed, I would be summoned by HR after performing my first code review.

[–] ExLisper@linux.community 28 points 1 year ago

Ban this person from computers forever.

[–] peanuts4life@beehaw.org 22 points 1 year ago (2 children)

While investigating an uncovered node in some aviation datalink software, I discovered a 15 year old comment from 1993 along the lines of, "this function never runs, I'll fix it later." I wish will all my heart I could have heard their voice. Even if just for a moment.

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[–] fsniper@kbin.social 20 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I hope this is a joke and not intended to be real.

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[–] zacher_glachl@lemmy.world 19 points 1 year ago

inb4 zoomers unironically want this

[–] SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml 17 points 1 year ago

Or Base64 inside the comment text

[–] itsathursday@lemmy.world 17 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Do you start recording before or after you rage with expletives?

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[–] Haus@kbin.social 16 points 1 year ago

I adore the energy behind these comments.

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